Win or lose. What to do?

[boobaa]

Basically I met this girl over a year ago, and she is amazing.

We were dating for almost a year, then I said why not make it officially exlusive. To which she disagreed and I asked for a break, she was very unhappy that day.

Then a month passes and we get together and as I see she feels the same way, we decide we are friends. Obviously it turns out that we are friends with benefits and intimate passion for each other. (Big ****ing mistake from my part)
I was ok with that for a while and started to see her becoming more affectionate with me, and it turned me on. And I fell again.

And now I told her, which led to me canceling us being friends. I am returning her her stuff tomorrow.

As much as I love her, she does not seem to share the feeling and sees me as friend. We share some interesting life aspects together and she is a really good friend, I really want to be friends (not bechause I love her, but we even share interests which could be beneficial to some aspects of life) but I could not get past my feelings.

I have looked for other girls but have not found anyone interesting. This sucks. I don't want to give up just yet, but I am undecided wether to pursue friendship and try to overcome feelings or pursue more. I definately want more, but rational part tells me if things don't work out, its done for good. And currently I cannot imagine her being with other guys.

It is funny how tomorrow is probably going to be the last day with us together, but I feel kind of calm. This whole thing is mixed.

[AnnonymousMan]

Yeah the whole "friends" thing doesn't work. At least I don't think it does. Your feelings won't magically go away so its best to just leave her if she doesn't love you back.

Keep us updated.

[regdenied]

Friendship with women just doesn't work. It doesn't. Man's best friend is another man or a dog.

[smackie9]

As the saying goes....you can't always get what you want.

[sadie_genie]

Wow...you dated for a year and now finally ask to be exclusive? From a female's point of view, if she keep on dating you without any talk about being exclusive for over a few months, she is most likely not want a relationship with you and see you as a **** buddy. Keep that in mind for the future. There isn't really much to do now since she already put you in that category.

[misombra]

sorry it's all happening like this booboo. that has happened to me and it sucks. maybe when you're gone she'll realize what she's missing. but if she doesn't then **** her it's her loss. good guys are hard to find nowadays and she will sooner or later realize she was stupid.

here booboo i have a song for you...

[boobaa]

Wow...you dated for a year and now finally ask to be exclusive? From a female's point of view, if she keep on dating you without any talk about being exclusive for over a few months, she is most likely not want a relationship with you and see you as a **** buddy. Keep that in mind for the future. There isn't really much to do now since she already put you in that category.

It was not quite like that. The dating part was exclusive, its just we never talked about it and made it "official" so to speak. Really odd part is that she introduced me to her parents, who were nice, and to her grandparents, and brothers. This all gave me an illusion she was serious. And when I asked for a break, she was really down, **** buddies don't do that right?

[boobaa]

I cut contact yesterday, hopefully. After a long talk session with her while I was piss drunk, but I needed to know. While we were ****buddies, she found someone else of sexual and romantic interest. And she still continued to **** me when I was around. Turnoff. And the ways she speaks, I don't have much respect left for her, which is probably a good thing, considering the circumstances. Damn, girls move fast.

But I feel just so alone and tired now, at the worst time of the year. Sharing first snow with myself, christmas also probably... And I always make such a wuss out of myself when breaking up with someone, its just not my thing, I can not just brake up with someone, never.

Went to OKCupid. Got one interest (others just ignored my letters), but could not speak or meet her, bechause I feel too shaken up from past circumstances.

/Rant.

[bulrush]

So, you found someone who was ALMOST compatible with you, but not quite. Keep looking, the right one is out there for you, but you have to date 10 girls to find one even close. That's the average.

Good dating statistics on okcupid.com BTW. Don't know if you have to be a (free) member to see the stats. Okcupid has a very good matching system, I recommend it. And they have a free option. You get enough features on the free option that I like it. There's the occassional weirdo on there, but all dating sites have those.