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Thread: Need Advice Asap!..

  1. #1
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    Need Advice Asap!..

    Okay.. so me and the ex broke up 3 weeks ago. Been together 9 years on and off. She has an 11 year old as well. For the last 3 weeks been sleeping on my friends couch. Just before rent was due she was threatening me with having to turn to prostitution to pay her bills if I didn't help her out. She already has a well paying job, but with me not in the picture she falls short of making all her bills. I called her on her bluff, and thought it was merely a ploy to get me back, or hurt me. Come the night before rent, I asked her if she still needed it, she said no, so I left it alone. The next day I called and asked her again, she said no she doesn't need anything from me. That got me thinking. So I did a bit of snooping round, and I found out she has been seeing multiple men trading sex for money, as well as 1 guy who we originally was the reason we got into our fight over. I broke down and was devastated! I called her on it.. and she admitted to it, and hung up crying. I ended up confronting 1 of the guys and that didn't go to well. I spoke with her that night, and told her I will take care of her financial problems in the short term under the condition she stops seeing these men, and takes down that profile on the site that she's meeting them. I said it's fine if she wants to date someone, but this I can not accept. She agreed. The next day I find out she's still on the site, and she's still seeing these men, I confront her about it.. but she denies it, saying that now she's not seeing them for money but just "dating".. which I have confirmed is false 100%. So now I'm honestly torn to pieces, and also feeling betrayed that she lied to me and took my money. My question to you is what should I do now about all my belongings? The whole house belongs to me, from head to toe. I really wanted to leave it there for the kid, but having a tough time swallowing the fact of what she's doing. My reasoning is that we had a deal, and she has broken it, and there should be no reason for her to be doing these things if I'm going to take care of her financial problems. But why do I feel guilty that if I take all the stuff, I'm going to be the bad guy cause the kid has no furnacing's? And considering she has a few sugar daddies now, don't you think it's there responsibility to take care of this problem? Meanwhile I'm on my friends couch while she lives and sleeps comfortably in a home that I furnaced.. please, constructive advice needed, I have booked movers for tomorrow.

  2. #2
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    Not to mention.. we were together for 9 years! And to do what she has done in a matter of weeks is absolutely heart wrenching! I can honestly say this has probably been the most devastating thing to happen to me in my life.. she has told her kid to not talk to me either, and has pumped her, friends, family, and everyone around her with unbelievable lies to make herself look like she is in the right, and I am this animal.. any help will be very appreciated, thank you.

  3. #3
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this. You have such a big heart, and I wish more men were like you. I think she's taking advantage of you, because she knows how you feel about the child. It's only going to get worse if you let this continue. Get your belongings, and take care of you. If she's already made you out to be a monster, this isn't going to make much of a difference.

  4. #4
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    An embarrassment to mankind. You are the ultimate sucker. I don't have any pity for you at all. Sorry to say it but it's true.
    Last edited by regdenied; 11-11-11 at 03:48 AM.

  5. #5
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    Wow regdenied! I wasn't looking for pity, I was looking for advice. If you're here to cut people down I think you have found the wrong forum. I'm here looking for advice and answers to help me get through a terrible time. Obviously you're too shallow to recognize this. Be careful.. maybe it will be you in this position 1 day.. and you will understand.

  6. #6
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    How much is she charging?

  7. #7
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    Lol...anyway Sands..you need to stop concerning yourself with the kid. If you think that the kid is in any way being neglected or in danger then call social services. Who's place is it? You said you furnished it but do you own it or is it your name on the lease? If it is your place I would tell her she has x amount of time to get out before you have her kicked out, take your life back and move on. She sounds like she is becoming addicted to the entire sex/money thing she has going on and is not going to stop it.

    Edit: I guess after 9 years around the kid you probably have some attachment. I would contact her family and let them know you are concerned about her lifestyle and the welfare of the child so you know she will be looked after but you still need to cut ties and move on. Maybe find a family member of hers that you can build a rapport with to check in on the kid every know and then and show them you care which would also prove to them that she isn't telling the full truth about you.
    Last edited by Riku; 11-11-11 at 09:51 PM.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandsoftime View Post
    Wow regdenied! I wasn't looking for pity, I was looking for advice. If you're here to cut people down I think you have found the wrong forum. I'm here looking for advice and answers to help me get through a terrible time. Obviously you're too shallow to recognize this. Be careful.. maybe it will be you in this position 1 day.. and you will understand.
    While I do understand that you must be feeling pretty rough, you can blame no one but yourself for falling so hard. You ought to beat yourself up about being the ultimate sucker and not come looking for a pat on the back. And no, highly unlikely I'd ever find myself in that situation, I'd castrate myself first, quite willingly. Good luck anyway.

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