Outside opinion needed about a toxic relationship

[elephants]

I got back together with an ex this May and it went downhill. He never cheated, but was messaging girls inappropriately, constantly going to strip bars and pretty much ignoring me. During this time, I spent a lot of time with another guy where I was more emotionally attached than I was to my boyfriend so I seemed to cope. I can't pretend that I was a good girlfriend. I never cheated on him, but I did nag him and I did throw some nasty curses his way. I relied on him to be there for me because I had lost a lot of good friends this year because of a falling out. Looking back on it, I did seem rather needy and possessive.

One night, I was really sick and tried to call him. He turned his phone off, so I gave him no respect and dumped him via text message. It killed me because I loved him so much. Anyway, we stopped talking for about two months and I really started to accept how toxic the relationship was.

Last week, he sent me a love letter in the mail. It was unexpected yet I seemed to be wanting something from him like that. He admitted that he was wrong, and that he did love me. Basically, he apologized for everything. We talked for about it for four hours and he seemed as if he had changed. He asked for me back and I said that I will need to think about it.

HOWEVER, last week I found out that a very close relative of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer. This last week my family and I have been dealing with it. Tonight, I messaged my ex asking if we could meet up and just talk. His response was, "No. I have planned to see my friends. You can't expect me to drop everything for you when something doesn't go your way in life." My response was, "I am really sorry to do this if youre out, but i need to say this. Denying someone your support that they have asked for when their relative is sick is a terrible thing. I do love you and hope you can see the error of your ways tonight. Please contact me if you wish to speak." No response.

Am I expecting to much? Or is this something where if someone did love you, they would try to be there for you? I just need an outside opinion who doesn't personally know me or the exboyfriend. I would really appreciate your help.

[asdfg789]

He sounds rather immature. how old are the 2 of you ?

[Wakeup]

If you were the one diagnosed I'd think him insensitive and self absorbed. However; it's a frightening time for your close relative and it is her that needed support from you. It's not about you, you see?

If he was already out then I'd not have expected him to come over. If he was just sitting around then it would be nice to have his support. Now that being said. You'd think that he would want to impress you and make you happy if he was trying to win you back but you can't expect him to jump through hoops either.

It's your call. If you are feeling this slighted BEFORE you even agreed to take him back then perhaps the writing is already on the wall and you need to tell him outright that you don't think reconciling is a very good idea... you sound very young and the odds are that you two will never be LIFE mates anyway. Why set yourselves up to be hurt all over again?

[elephants]

Thanks. Really put everything in perspective for me. Im 22 and he's about to turn 24, he still lives at home without a proper job while I moved out and I am studying two degrees and working part time. It really does sound like a high school relationship though.