Am I right and is he just being irrational?

[greentea82]

Okay....so I'll try to make this quick as possible.

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He's the love of my life, we live together, and have a great relationship. Before he existed I was friends with this kid, he's a bit younger than me. I've known him for about 3 years now. The odd thing about him, is I never met him. We randomly met online a while back - we quickly became friends and have been ever since. He only lives 2 hours away from me, but we never met. For the 2 years I was single, him and I had a good relationship - we talked on the phone for the most part, and he did like me, but never made the effort to come see me. It seemed as if he had a fear of traveling, I'm not really sure. He was much younger than me, so I always kept my distance from him, even though I knew he really liked me alot. So over time he always seemed to run away and show up when he wanted. I kind of just let it go. I was living my life, hanging with my friends, dating guys, ect. He was always in the background somehow. Calling me in the middle of the night, randomly texting me, ect.

Anyways, fast forward now. It's 3 years later, I'm in a relationship, very happy - and I know the guy I'm with is the one. But this kid keeps popping back up. He's sort of an enigma to me because we never met - even though we had a good friendship through the phone, its non existent really, so I never gave my boyfriend an explanation to who he was - it would of sounded silly anyways. Well this kid texted me the other day, and my boyfriend saw it before I did because he was borrowing my phone. He was a little peeved, he didn't know the kid, and his text was referring to how i looked "cute" in my pictures he saw on facebook.

I told the kid to not text me anymore. I just explained to him that I'm happy and in a relationship and our friendship to my boyfriend wouldn't make sense to him, so it wasn't worth it to me. I deleted his number from my phone. But he shows up again online one day while I'm at work - telling me I'm controlled, and he doesn't understand why we can't just be friends? He seems to think it be a rational decision for me to come visit and meet him ALONE. He's insane. I told him never....but all I ever hear is how controlled I am, and how I live in my own little world....

Am I wrong for never wanting to go see him, not explaining who he is to my boyfriend and asking him to politely leave me alone? I never once had feelings for him anyways, but he's a nice kid. I just don't know how to get rid of him - I'm just fearful he's going to blow up my phone unnecessarily now and my boyfriend will see....I love him to much to have this relationship f*cked with....what should I do?

[bulrush]

You are right. You should not go to see this other boy, who you don't know very well, for any reason. It makes no sense and will only mess up your current relationship. If your current bf is good, why mess with it? I say "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

[greentea82]

Exactly. I've known him for 3 years and he's a nice kid - but I have no feelings. I have no shady intentions and I wouldn't mind staying his friend - we've always had really nice conversations. But he says our friendship can't exist if we dont meet and he finds it absurd that I won't come meet him alone. I think he's nuts personally. He doesn't seem to understand that my boyfriend is clueless about him, and he is because this kid wasn't a steady fixture in my life. He used to run away and come back because he claimed he had feelings for me and didnt want to be exposed to me dating other guys - it only hurt him. YET - when I was single, he didn't even want to come meet me. I think he's just young and confused.

I refuse to meet him, my boyfriend would be PISSED. I just wish he'd kinda disappear. I don't need the drama or need my boyfriend thinking I'm up to no good....

[Dune]

It's really nothing wrong if you decide to end things with this boy. Nothing really happened anyway, so it's really not a big deal. And silly as it may seems, if your boyfriend insists on an explanation, just give him one. That's part of working things out in a relationship.

Right now you feel as if this boy is a threat to your relationship although you know that he has no power over things, but you're afraid that he might cause some misunderstandings. Tell him to leave you alone, and be firm. Don't handphones have a way to bar numbers?

[greentea82]

Well i would easily block his number, but the problem is - I deleted his number, so now if he contacts me, who knows what his plans are....or what he'll say. He joked before that he couldn't help but not text me if he wanted to. He's even randomly called me at like 4am while we're sleeping. Hopefully the next time he tries to contact me, I catch it first so I can just totally block him....He's an unnecessary threat really, but I just don't need the drama...

[devonbrown]

If your relationship currently is good and you don't want to meet this kid or keep talking to him, just end it straight up. And his telling you that you are controlled is just his way of trying to manipulate you into an affair. It isn't worth it, so no matter how nice you think this kid is, block his number, block him online, and be done with him.

Good luck.