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Thread: Can relationship be salvaged

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Can relationship be salvaged

    I met a girl about 6 months ago and we started dating. About 4 months ago it became a relationship.

    When I met this girl she told me that she was moving away for work soon so I initially was hesitant to get involved but she told me that we could make a long distance relationship work. She went to work in Leeds at the start of September and she came home every weekend to see me. The main problem is that she says she hates living round here and never wants to move back, even though her family is all here. I have no intentions of moving away as my family and job are here. Also, if I ever had kids I'd want my family round to support us.

    However, I became concerned that the longer I was seeing her the more upset I'd be if the relationship ended so I've been pushing her away for the last 3 months. It all came to a head 2 weeks ago and the relationship ended.

    I am now really regretting pushing her away and ending the relationship. She says that when things are over for her that is it! We've still been texting and talking on the phone. I told her last week that if she wants to get back the door is open and that I wouldn't push her away anymore. I think that she has moved away to run away from a 5 year relationship ending in December 2010 in which she lost her house, etc. I think in time she would probably consider moving back here to be with me. We really get on well, have amazing sex, and can talk for hours!

    Do you think there is any chance of salvaging this? What advice do you have for the best way to proceed?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Female
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    I feel like I am in a VERY similiar situation. my boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago because we are long distance and in May, he would have been moving even further away and we would no longer be a simple bus trip away and he broke up with me because "he didn't want to get in any deeper." When I asked what he wanted, he told me that he wishes I was in the same city as him and that he wants to be with me but what he wants and what is right is not the same thing. It broke my heart and now as it turns out, I am postponing medical school for a year so for an entire year I will be free to go where ever I want to and I would have absolutely no problem moving to be closer to him, as I like moving around anyway, but when we last talked, he thought I was still going to medical school. We are meeting in a few days to talk about things and try to clear things up in person (we broke up over skype.. really crappy) so this will be the first in person meeting and I don't know if I should man up tell him that I would be willing to move with him next year if things were going well or to let it go.
    The way I see it, even if he wanted to get back together with me, I would have a difficult time with it. I'm not sure if this is what your ex is thinking but this is how I see it. Relationships are tough, and they will not always be easy. You will both have to fight for it to make them work and find a way to support and encourage the other. I'd be worried that if we got back together, my ex would run away if there was another sign of trouble ahead. Both people have to be willing to fight in a relationship and if he is just going to run away because he is afraid of getting hurt, then whats the point? If I'm trusting him with my heart, I want him to trust me with his too... I hope this helps!

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