Cheating

[hopegrace]

LOL...If you're so attractive, why are you so worried about not finding anyone else?....BTW the longer you hang around this guy, the harder it will be. Do yourself a favour, and put some distance between you and this jerk ASAP.

Too add...are you chasing a green card?

I also live with this jerk for 5 years and for the past 2 months we are trying for the baby ((( so it is not that easy for me just to walk out

[rafterman]

we are trying for the baby ((( so it is not that easy for me just to walk out

I read your posts and the story just gets worse and worse.So this guy sleeps around on you, and now you're having unprotected sex I.O.T have a baby? Yik! You dont want to leave, because all the gifts will dry up.
, and you have low self esteem issues. That is a bit of a worry.

[hopegrace]

I read your posts and the story just gets worse and worse.So this guy sleeps around on you, and now you're having unprotected sex I.O.T have a baby? Yik! You dont want to leave, because all the gifts will dry up.
, and you have low self esteem issues. That is a bit of a worry.

Didn't you read before that I love him and we have a good relationship in everyday life? I don't care about the gifts, I am just trying to express how he treats me.
Yes and I am attractive, sporty, sexy, excellent student, motivated but have very self esteem and worries. That is my sad story. That is why I am here

[hopegrace]

I read your posts and the story just gets worse and worse.So this guy sleeps around on you, and now you're having unprotected sex I.O.T have a baby? Yik! You dont want to leave, because all the gifts will dry up.
, and you have low self esteem issues. That is a bit of a worry.

He has protected sex as far as I know ( I found a condom)

[hopegrace]

I read your posts and the story just gets worse and worse.So this guy sleeps around on you, and now you're having unprotected sex I.O.T have a baby? Yik! You dont want to leave, because all the gifts will dry up.
, and you have low self esteem issues. That is a bit of a worry.

Rafterman!

By your judgemental posts I assume that you are an honest man! Right?

[rafterman]

Didn't you read before that I love him and we have a good relationship in everyday life?
That is my sad story. That is why I am here

Love him..why?. I(we) gave you advice, but you seem to not want it? What would you like to hear?

[hopegrace]

[/B]
Love him..why?. I(we) gave you advice, but you seem to not want it? What would you like to hear?

You can't just say your heart "don't love him", I am listening to everyone' s advice and trying to make a decision

[rafterman]

He has protected sex as far as I know ( I found a condom)

Do you understand, how bad this ^^^sounds?

[IndiReloaded]

Don't get pregnant until you get this sorted out. Of course, you sound dumb as a stump so naturally you will think that a child will make him more likely to stay with you. Never mind the misery you will put the child through when things go sour....

[SweetMessiah]

I read your story and feel bad for you on many points. However, I do feel you are giving this jerk a lot of liberty that he doesn't deserve. I wish there was a way to see how your partner is going to feel when you do the same with them!

By reading your story, I feel all the more worse. I am under the "I cry day and night" thread. You can read my story there. I am extremely loyal to my girl. I don't believe in polygamy, I know it's a common concept but I feel if our love for a person is true, there's always an inner voice which will stop us from committing such bad acts. I do everything for her, love her with all my heart and always wait to spend time with her, give her so much priority.

I understand how you feel when you say, that there are many good points about him and one BAD point. It's those good points which keeps pulling you back with him right? I guess, it's just strings attached and nothing more. I have the same situation. There are many good points about my girl. But among these many good points, till date whatever I thought was true, today she proved me wrong completely! She said, those were not her true feelings and she never had the courage to speak her own mind and express herself!!! I gave her all the liberty to express, to share her feelings. But she never gave a damn also to be truthful to me!

It's too difficult to allow a person like that back in our life. Ok, think from this point of view. Have you ever confronted him yet and what is his reaction? Does he expect you to be completely calm and quiet about it as if it's no big deal? Doesn't that suck enough? While you are broken apart into pieces and your sleep is ruined, that guy doesn't even give a damn!! If he cannot even understand what sort of pain you will go through after knowing about this, he's just not worth it! He doesn't LOVE you!

He is well aware of how much you are dependent on him and since you have showed so much acceptance even after this dirty acts, it makes him think he can do just about anything and still gain your confidence! Please don't allow him to play with your feelings.

CONFRONT and then see his reaction! Show all your feelings to him, let him know, how it hurts you so much, how it has taken all your sleep away, how you have been broken down completely. Let him know that! Chances are, he won't be much effected by hearing this and that's the biggest PROBLEM! If he doesn't give a damn that his actions/acts are tearing you apart he doesn't LOVE you.

I did the same in my case. I tried explaining her as much as I can, that her change of words after 2 years is hurting me a lot. Just as you made a lot of future plans with your guy, the same way, I had also a lot of plans with my girl. She kept promising me about various things, I had a vision in my mind about our marriage life. Everything seemed so perfect until recently she just went against everything and broke my heart!

Take care my friend, you need LOVE TRUE LOVE comes from actions, not from words.

[rafterman]

So whats your plan hopegrace? What are you going to do?

[stuckies]

she won't leave. She's not hit rock bottom & may never do. Any idea of the number of people who stay with cheats? They carry on because they can.

You can't guarantee they always use condoms...I didn't.

[hopegrace]

So whats your plan hopegrace? What are you going to do?

It a little bit early yet to make a definite decision...

[hopegrace]

Thank you all for being here!

Sorry I couldn't reply earlier. I am all day at school. Things are still the same... I woke up feeling horrible, didn't want to get up and do anything. But I am glad that I forced myself to go.
Here at school is like ups and downs, but I feel definitely better being here than at home. I even ate!!! And this is a big progress for me since yesterday. My thoughts are still about him... I am picking him up at the airport on Thurs. I don't even know how to react.
The only pleasant thing which happened to me today is that I caught myself looking at one guy and realising that if I was single I would definitely go out with him!!!! But he is my business law Professor, so it will be impossible. But then my thoughts went back to my BF and I started feel sad again (((
I just hope that it is not as bad as in my mind- I mean to be without him

[hopegrace]

"One day after the storm, when you least expect it the sun will come out."

I found this quote on different forum where people were sharing some experience after chemotherapy. I was doing the research because a few months ago my sister was suspected to have an ovarian cancer ( thanks GOD! The surgery showed it was not)
Now I am wondering why people like me, who cry here from broken heart and seek for support, do not realise that life is soooo good.
This forum was bookmarked on my PC, so when I read it and remembered what I was going through a few months ago because of my family, I asked myself "what a stupid fool am I ?!"