Love my best friend, we're both girls and don't know what to do

[skewbs]

I'm 17 and for around a year and a half I've been in love with my best friend. I've never liked a girl before and before this I've always thought that I was straight, even now I keep thinking that she is just some freak exception. She's straight and I don't want to tell her because, I'm worried I'll **** everything up and I know she won't react badly to the point of us not talking but, I think she'll find it a bit weird.

We�re really close, like talk every night and see each other pretty much every day. I�ve had a lot of like bad stuff in my life, I won�t go into it because it�s pretty irrelevant but she�s been there for me a lot and I�ve helped her with a lot of her problems too. I�ve dated guys and had things with people and all that and as corny as it sounds, none of it has ever been as strong as this. Like, I�m pretty weird with the whole �love� thing except I actually genuinely think that I do.

If I told her I was bi she would not care, one of our best friends is and we still love him just the same. It might be a bit different directed at her though, I�m not sure. We�ve hooked up heaps of times at parties, cuddle every time she sleeps over and just generally together we�re flirty but in a joking way. Every time she�s drunk she�ll text me telling me she loves me (as a friend) and that I�m the only one that cares about her and sometimes I wonder if she does back but realistically, that is VERY far fetched and I don�t think she does.

I�m ranting so I�ll stop but, I really want to tell her but I don�t want to risk changing our closeness or anything. I have no idea what to do, I�ve never felt like this before and to me she is literally just perfect. I would literally not change anything about her. Don�t know what to do about it, either tell me how to get over it, or if I should tell her or something. I just have no idea how to deal with it.

[sunny2011]

Anytime there are feelings for a good friend, regardless of sexuality, its best to be honest about your feelings - especially if they don't seem to be going away. In your case it seems to be eating you up, and eventually it could be very bad to have kept all your feelings inside. However, think of the possible reply from her that feelings are not returned. Would this devastae you? Be prepared for what that could feel like. Decide if you can still handle being friends at this point. Let her know you value her friendship and don't want to lose it over this - if you do in fact feel that way. Or, you do have the option to keep it a secret, the problem here is that could start getting too painful, that is if you don't think you can get over it eventually. I am sure she would react as a good friend and be understanding.

[smackie9]

Maybe she is hiding the fact she is bi too? If you are such good friends, you should be able to talk to her about this openly.

[skewbs]

haha I don't think she's bi, although! We have both admitted that at some stage we will probably do a chic just to try it. I could talk to her about it, but I don't think it matters how good a friends we are because if one of my best friends liked me and I didn't return it it would still be a bit awkward. I guess I just don't want stuff to change :/

I have asked her if she was bi though, and she said no and I highly doubt she was lying. I think it's more whether I should get it off my chest or just leave it. Problem is that I am starting to get kind of jealous, which is bad

[Miss_winter]

I'm a bi, but I've been dating women for the past 10 years. Currently I'm also in love with my best friend of 7 years who is a lesbian and it doesn't make things easier for me. The fact that she is my best friend and I don't want to lose her if I confess I love her more than a best friend, also eating me up. But I sometimes dropped hints to see her reaction. And so far so good. Very slow progress, though, but it's worth a try. Or since you both admitted that at some stage you'd probably try to do a woman for the sake of curiosity, why don't you just casually bring that subject up and see whether she is interested in trying it with you? And I think if she's really your best friend, she won't leave although she can't be more than friends with you. Good luck.

[bulrush]

Sounds like you two have the foundation for something very special. But of course there's a risk to telling her your feelings. Do you want to be sexual with her? Or just tell her your feelings? Be honest.

Maybe you could tell her something like this: "What would you do if a friend said she loved you as more than a friend?"

Get her response, if it's positive, continue like this: "Well, I love you as more than a friend, but I don't want you to freak out about it. It's ok if you don't feel the same, but I'd like to know if you do feel the same." Be very specific. Clear communication here is critical.

If you are interested in getting physical with her, then continue: "I'd like to show how much I care about you by being more physical. Are you interested?"

[girl68]

... watch glee?....

I think you should distance yourself from her for a bit, until you can get over these feelings. Don't be mean just pull back from how very close you are. If she genuinely cares and asks about what's happening you can say you've had a lot of conflicting feelings and need your space and time to sort them out. If she prods... tell her that you have feelings but you are worried how these feelings might backfire and hurt your friendship. Hopefully she'll react postiviely to you or she'll understand and give you space.

[Someonesp]

Chances are slim that she's bi too, in my opinion. You should pay attention to one thing and one thing only: does she like a guy? Does she talk about guys? If so, dont ever tell her, you will freak her out and loose her friendship also.
If my best girl friend would tell me she's gay, I would take a few steps back, honestly. So be careful before you do this.