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Thread: Asking out a girl who intimidates you...

  1. #1
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    Asking out a girl who intimidates you...

    So I met a girl through some buddies recently. I dig her from as much as we've hung out, she's funny, cool to be around, and really nice to look at too. Problem is she's kind of brash and intimidating. She acts more like a guy in that she's not shy to clown on someone, for example when we were first introduced I made a comment about a ring she was wearing that a friend of mine had, thinking I was being slick about starting up a conversation. She later admitted "Yeah that was pretty gay what you said about my ring but I liked it." or something like that.

    She's friends with a group of buddies of mine who I hang w/ frequently, but aren't the best of friends with. We've chatted over facebook comments and stuff a bit but have never exchanged numbers or anything direct. I want to ask her out but it's one of those things where I feel like if I ask her on a date, she'd give me a "Wtf?" response.

    Any tips for this type of chick?

  2. #2
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    From your description, I can empathize with her. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to figure out how I was misreading signals of interest and was later told "My friend really liked you, but was afraid to ask for your number." She's probably very similar, and used to being considered "intimidating" and a guy who will make the first move will get instant points. Of course, beware, this is just what works on me.

    Treat her like a lady but take charge and be straight forward. Don't dance around asking her out and treat it like a foregone conclusion that she wants a date. "I've had a lot of fun talking on Facebook. I want to take you out for [drinks | dinner | walk]. When's good for you?" Since she hangs around guy usually, chances of her turning you down with a "WTF really" are very very low, so the worst you'll get is a straight forward "I'm sorry, I'm really not interested." But, more than likely in my experience, she'll appreciate the guts and give at least one date a shot.

    Just a parting thought: you know those couples that make you think "how'd he get her?"? He asked. Other guys didn't have the guts to do it. :-P

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    So kind of like a "Bite the bullet" type of thing? I figured there was no other real way to do it than to just man up. Thanks.

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    had a girl doing that to me recently...she kept putting me down and then adding a compliment. lol... thinking back it was kind of funny and definitely made me more interested in her..

    a girl like that can be the most amazing thing you ever had...just be careful...the alternative sucks

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    So I ended up seeing this girl out again, this group of friends went out to a bar for a mutual friends birthday and she was there. We said hi to each other and she asked if she could have a drink of what I was drinking cause she never had it before and that was about it. Last night she posted a fb status about wanting to do some drinking after class but none of her friends would join her so she was going to do it by herself. I was thinking that would be a perfect chance to just say something like asking her out to have drinks or something sometime. Thoughts?

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    DO IT! S4eriously, sounds like a perfect opportunity. Make your comment something like.. "You could always let me buy you one later, you name the place."

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    My wife claims that she never got the "Girl Rule Book"... and I think that's pretty accurate. She says what's on her mind, she doesn't play games... and she's got a goofy sense of humor. I guess if you're insecure, a secure and confident woman can be intimidating.

    Personally I'd say go for it. What's the worst she can do? Say no?

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    Haha I don't lack confidence and I'm not insecure at all, she's just one of those chicks that doesn't put off the vibe like they would be approachable the same way others are.

    Anyway, I sent her a message saying something like "Instead of drinking alone how about you just go have some with me instead, I'm down to go whenever, I'll even buy a round or two." She then asked for my number and said it sounded good. =)

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    From what you've posted it sounds as though shes clearly in to you and theres plenty of good advice in this thread, including plenty of good lines to ask her out (dont ask, just assume - "Want to go out sometime?" is bad, but the "Whens good for you?" line is great)

    Just be confident and dont back down because you think it would make her think of you in a certain way if your opinion differs to hers. Girls like this are used to guys agreeing with them all the damn time and that is not an attractive trait.

    Be aware though that having a relationship with agirl like this can be hard work when shes constantly challenging you.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustNotCricket View Post
    From what you've posted it sounds as though shes clearly in to you and theres plenty of good advice in this thread, including plenty of good lines to ask her out (dont ask, just assume - "Want to go out sometime?" is bad, but the "Whens good for you?" line is great)

    Just be confident and dont back down because you think it would make her think of you in a certain way if your opinion differs to hers. Girls like this are used to guys agreeing with them all the damn time and that is not an attractive trait.

    Be aware though that having a relationship with agirl like this can be hard work when shes constantly challenging you.
    Well I basically kind of just put the ball in her court, gave her my number and said wherever/whenever, so I know that if she does call/text, it would almost have to mean she is interested. If I really want to press the issue or be more aggressive about it, I can always message her again. But I don't plan on it for a long time.

  11. #11
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    Man up, and use the word "date" when you ask her out. Then there will be no doubt what it is. Then ask her to your place, and go from there.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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