Am i just fooling myself to think it still works?

[Marvelette]

Me and my bf have been dating for almost a year.
We were each others first serious relationship.
hes 19,and im 17.
I am a virgin,and hes only been with one girl before.

When we met,it was amazing.we instantly clicked and i felt in clouds nine. and the only thing missing in our relationship was sex.
Hes very sensitive and caring,he took me out all the time and we had lots of fun.
It took me about six months to actually want to have sex with him [im very insecure and im a virgin,so.it was a big thing for me]
When i told him about it,he got nervous and couldnt get it up [his penis.],so i thought,ok.maybe its jsut because he got nervous
but we tried serveal of times and yet,he couldnt get it up [which was awfuly strange cause when were making out in bed his penis is hard.]
So somehow,we got to a point where were almost been together for one year.
Yet we didnt have sex,we dont go out anymore,
Whenever im upset at something hes not the first person i would go to [usually i will just bottle it up or talk to my best friend]

I love him..but i dont know if im just fooling myself and maybe my love towards him has faded
and i just prefer the relationship over being alone.
I truely cant imagine my life without him right now.

When i talk to him about it he seems suprised and tells me it hasnt faded and he still loves me to death.

What should i do? are we fooling ourselves to think this is still working?

[bulrush]

I love him..but i dont know if im just fooling myself and maybe my love towards him has faded

You're too young to know what love is. You might have an emotional connection to him, but that's not love. Love is totally trusting someone, because you have excellent communication, and share wonderful things together, whether it's sex or something else that helps to bond the two of you.

In real life the "Feeling" of being in love waxes and wanes. It comes and goes. If you want to rekindle the feeling, it takes work. What work have you done to rekindle the feeling?

If you leave someone anytime that feeling fades, you will always be alone, because it always fades without action. So, just because the feeling fades, doesn't mean you cannot be together. Work on doing new things together. Going to new places, new restaurants, having new daring adventures.

As far as the sex thing goes, he may be a very nervous person, or he may watch too much porn, so he needs more stimulation to get lead in his pencil. This should not happen to a 19 year old man, who is at the peak of his hormones and sexuality. So, if it's a porn issue, he should cut his porn watching in half at least.

[Marvelette]

I may be young.and i dont claim to know what love is.
But do i sound like a kind of person that looks for an instant satisfication?

Hell,do you know ANY teenagers that just simply dont have sex and last this long? [and not for reliigion reasons.]

Ive carried this relationship on my back for almost a year now.
Dealing with alot of hard things.
Most of the times it was simply one sided.
All i ever did is give to him and consume him.
And all im left with is question "is this enough for me?"
you have to understand im being this radical about "do i love him or not" or "should i end this or not" because ive tried all i can to work this
and fix this.and spark it.and im in the verge.

It seems like youre critisising me cause im young and clueless.
Isnt that human?
Generalizing is never the key.

as far for sex,i dont think its that..i think its the more of the mental value and detachment that disables him from getting it up.
which makes it alot more harder.

[bulrush]

you have to understand im being this radical about "do i love him or not" or "should i end this or not" because ive tried all i can to work this and fix this.and spark it.and im in the verge.

I'm asking for a specific list of things you have done to spark the loving feelings again. Did he notice you did these? Did they matter to him? Not to criticize you, but to see what you have done. Also, what has HE done to spark things? I need to know if he even wants things to continue with you.

[girl68]

Your relationship is dead. Don't let the first love factor keep you in it.

Saying things like "I've carried this relationship on my back" isn't how equal partners talk.