He wants a break for 3 months??

[Someonesp]

Ok, so I've been with this guy for a year and a half in a ldr. We had or ups and downs, but lately we've been getting along well.
He's going to come to stay in his hometown(my town) for 3 months and in the spring we decided to move together to Spain. But not because he said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but because we are both looking for jobs there.
So now, out of the blue, he tells me on he phone that he wants to be free in this 3 months period. Not to be with any other girls, he says, but to hang out with his guys and drink and smoke pot and have fun.
'and after 3 months i'll be all yours'. And he said oh, but we can go out for a drink for time to time ( and I think he wouldnt mind the sex, also)... We got into a fight and I told him I dont like this and that I want to spend the holidays with my boyfriend not alone and that if he wants to be with me, he'll be with me these 3 months too.
And I said its over and he said well, if you cant wait for 3 months, its your decision.. He called me a day later but I didnt answer.
What do you think about it? i am really hurt about what happened. He's 25 and I know he likes being with his guys but I never had a problem with thay. He always went out with them 2 days and one day with me or smth like that. Isn't that enough for a guy? We had 2 breaks before, the same reason, but they were only for a week or 2, and I accepted, but I dont want to wait anymore.
Should I answer the phone if he calls me again?
Thank you for your answers.

[sunny2011]

Oh no, no, no. Relationships do NOT mean taking "breaks" whenever you feel like it. we don't just be somebody's significant other when we feel like it, and be single when we feel like it. That's not a real relationship and certainly not fair to you that he just wants to come in and out of your life this way. he should be told its all or nothing. Expecting you to tolerate this without compromise is ridiculous.

Since when can a guy not still have "guy time" while he's in a relationship? It could be much more simple...he can have the best of both worlds by being with you AND having some guy time as long he isn't neglecting your relationship while he does so. To me, that is the best possible compromise here and everybody wins. If he doesn't want to be with other girls, then it makes no sense to me why he has to be single for "guy time".

try not to allow this...if you do he will always think its ok and do it over and over again. He is either with you, or he's not, and he should really make that solid choice because that is what you deserve. If he can't see that then he does not deserve you.

And does he realize this break makes you "free" also? Does he expect you to wait for him without seeing other guys? If so that is just wrong. There is the option to say, sure take your 3 months, but I can't promise you I will still be here for you. All I know is he needs to decide which it is he really wants for your sake. If he truly cares for your heart at all he will understand this. Good luck

[bulrush]

1. He doesn't want a commitment, and yes, he will have other girls. He just doesn't want the guilt of cheating on you.

2. WHY in the world would you go to Spain? It's economy is circling the drain. I can't imagine any jobs are there. Avoid these countries that spell PIIGS: Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, Spain. All their governments are going bankrupt. That means no government services. That means no police, lots of riots, lots of crime and anarchy.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a ****ing idiot if you go for this. Make him make an immediate decision...break up or stay together. I suggest you just break up with him though. Tell him that it's clear he is not committed to you(it is crystal clear.), and you want to date some European guys when you move to Spain. This has disaster written all over it, but suit yourself.

[girl68]

he's lying and full of it. he wants to bang other girls, act like a complete idiot and have an excuse to be a dumbass... for 3 months... I wouldn't stand for that and say if your choice is to be free for 3 months I'm making mine to not wait around for that. Bye.

[Petit Papillon]

I also say don't go to Spain . Do you at least speak spanish? If not, prepare for a 5/euro job , shitty treatment and some diet cause for the max 800 euro you will earn, there won't be much left for food Of course IF YOU FIND A JOB Well if you speak spanish, it will be a slighty bit easier, but you will probably look for a job for few months since of course they prefer to hire a Spaniard first, before an immigrant . Oh and Spaniards don't speak foreign languages (most of them) . Better stay in Germany, at least life is cheap. I know what i'm saying because i practically live in Spain and Germany at the moment.
And about your bf, well it's not your boyfriend then. There are no breaks from relationship, it's not a job with holidays or something. He clearly wants to have FUN.

[Someonesp]

Sorry, when I made my profile I chose Germany by mistake, I dont know how, Im from Bulgaria. and I have relatives in Spain, so I have many reasons to go there. But thank you for your advice
I am more concerned about the boyfriend problem now, anyway

[devonbrown]

I think everyone is on the money with this one. This guy is asking for breaks whenever he wants because he is afraid of commitment and wants to (or has) be with other women. A real relationship deals with issues that come up, handle concerns and fears internally, and doesn't run away from the other person.

Don't answer the phone. Stick to your guns and consider the relationship over. If you get back together with him, he is just going to do the same thing again because he knows he can get away with it.

Good luck.

[Kaius]

He doesn't need a "break" to have fun with the guys and act stupid. However, he does need a "break" to hump other girls, as stated above.
If he is not ready to continue in this relationship, obviously he has explorations and curiosities that he needs to satisfy.
It is very selfish of him to want you AND his indulgence. A man who loves you would not do this to you.

[Saya]

Most likely the reason why he want to have a break is to have fun with his male friends and hook up with other girls.
His not taking this relationship seriously at all! If he is serious about the relationship then he will not take a break from the relationship whenever he wants to...that's not right thing to do.
He probably doesn't love you... if he does then he wouldn't want to take a break from a relationship.
You don't need to take a break just to hang out with his friends.... so most likely, the reason why he wants to take a break is to hook up with other girls and have flings or whatever and then have fun.
Don't bother talking to him/answering his calls.

[jschenone]

He sounds like a douche IMO. To me, a relationship is a relationship. You're either together or you take a real break (as in break up).
You don't "take breaks" in a relationship. Sounds like this guy isn't ready for the commitment. He said he wants to have some guy time with his friends but he can do that even when he's in a relationship with you! I agree he might want to hook up with other girls.