how do you guys do?

[The]

I mean, I was very anti social in high school and elementary school. I don't think I'm bad looking.... I'm in Cegep and I study pure and applied science.

I plan on to major in Physics and minor in computer science. I want to be a theoritical physicist (a bit like Einstein, Max Plank and all of them!). But I can't seem to talk to people. I play hockey and I am not that bad and want to play NCAA. I just have no friends and can't seem to make any. I know there aren't any rules and thats what bothers me. I am really good in math and science but I can't understand human behaviour. I mean its not like quantum physics or anything.... its just the way brain works and ITS UNPREDICTABLE which I hate!. I hate not knowing what can happen or not! and I feel at lost.... I feel like after my horrible break up I can't do anything. I can't go back where I went with my girlfriend. I feel like life has just collapsed on itself.I did love the girl and all but what do I do now? I mean life goes on yeah but I can't seem to concentrate or talk to other girls....

I don't know where I am heading... i live in montreal and HATE that city. I want to go on a student exchange but can only go next year. I want to move away but can't! I want to start over somewhere new! but I can't .... What to do?

[MaidenMinx]

Please don't take offense to this, but I think you could benefit from talking to a councilor. It sounds to me like you have some social anxiety at the very least ( as the mother of an autistic son it actually sounds to me like you are on the spectrum somewhere but I'm biased).

I can understand though why human relations frustrate you. Social ques can be difficult to understand and as you said, there is no predictability.

Are there any science clubs you could join? Does your school do social outings? If you could join a group of likeminded people, or get involved in semi-predictable activities (bowling for eg. You have a turn, they have a turn, conversation is usually kept simple and civil) you might be able to find people you feel comfortable around.

Good luck!

[The]

Well to be honest, I never really thought of being authistic.... I might be! I mean even my own mom thinks it will be hard for me in the future as I am not very sociable. I am more in my space... I like being alone but I also love science...

I mean i love team sports... and clubs dont appeal to me for some odd reason... Its really hard to get through break up and all... I mean I've read the " Incident of the dog at Night time" about the autistic boy and I don' t think I am like that but maybe a bit...

I am seeing a councilor and she is just telling me I am impulsive in my decisions... I should ask her about the autism part.

[MaidenMinx]

She'll probably tell you you don't need a label, or ask you why you want one.

Autism is called a spectrum disorder because any 2 people with autism can have completely different areas. Quick question, did you eve have trouble speaking or was your speech delayed?

Can you expand on your love of team sports to get to make friends? Do you like to play or watch? Are you in a team now?

Sorry about all the questions. It's just hard to give advice with limited information.

[The]

DOn't worry about asking questions I like answering question
I don't know for my speech. I know I wasn't early.... I kept diapers till I was 5...? Until I was force to go to school. EVerytime im on a sport team I speak to other people but thats all it stops there. No relationship outside the rink. I love both to be honest and yeah Im in a hockey team.


Again don't worry about the questions I read up a bit on what you told me and somewhat Asperger syndrom looks more like what I'm

[MaidenMinx]

I was about to say without the presence of a speech delay, aspergers is more likely. Ask your councilor what they think. They won't be able to diagnose you alone but they could give you help finding someone to diagnose you. Having said that, there are wonderful support groups and forums for aspies and they don't mind the self diagnosed coming along and seeking help.

Is part of your problem not having anything to talk about outside of sport and science? That's ok. You'd be surprised how many people on the planet are only interested in a few things.

[The]

Well not really.... I can just state random fact but i have a very hard time continuing a conversation.... And I wil ltry to find one ! thanks This is very hard for me right now... Imean I lost my only confident ( my ex-gf).... SO many things happened with her and now I feel alone and in like... despair

[MaidenMinx]

Loneliness can be hard to cope with, especially when you find connecting with people difficult.

One thing I'm teaching my son (he's only 7 but I'm keeping my thoughts on the future and the present) is lots of jokes. So far his humor doesn't extend beyond knock knock and fart jokes, but humour is one of those things that everyone enjoys. Maybe get a few joke books, watch some comedians (for the timing) and get comfortable telling jokes.

Maybe after hockey some time, suggest an after game catch up, maybe over food or beverages.

Making friends is not an easy feat and it takes being willing to take a leap of faith and being willing to be vulnerable.

[The]

well at the level I play tis kinda hard... maybe next year. I'm only what they call midget. But I'm in my last year... al the other players are in grade 10 or 11 so after meal stuff doesn't work for them lmfao.

And I know making friend is really hard. I don't want to talk to anybody... it seems so much better on a computer screen to be honest..

[bulrush]

I'm a lot like you. Or I used to be. I love science, and learning things, but my brain did not used to see or understand subtle social cues during my teens and 20s. Hence the reason I did not flirt when I was young. It took me about 5 years to get good at smalltalk, and now I talk too much! lol. Master the art of smalltalk and you will do well, and appear friendly and sociable. The key is to practice in public places. Take a speech class, join a speech club.

At Toastmasters, a national speech club, the point is to practice public speaking. You speak about whatever you want, for as long as you want, with limits. (Other people need their turn also.) Then they critique you. So, talk about a science topic and why it's important. Is it important to a specific industry? Why? What could this topic lead to?
[url]http://www.toastmasters.org/[/url]

I'm not anti-social, I just have no need to socialize or have a lot of friends. Oddly enough, I now have more friends that I did before. Be patient, practice speaking, challenge yourself, and I think you will learn it.