Dangerous manipulative relationship

[kelly7777]

This is the first time i have written about my life in a online thing.....
about 3 months ago i ended a 2 year relationship that was toxic. We met at highschool and then reunited about 10 years later and starrted dating. it was an intense relationship we were so in love but i was completly sucked in. he would go onto my facebook and i didnt know etc, and then would make me think that people deleted me but he deleted them...he would ring/text me 24/7 i could never go out wthout him getting jealous about who i was with etc and i would always end up getting upset. he bought out a side of me that would get so frrustrated, so frustrated about not being heard in arguements i would scream, and to be honest im not like that, but i got so confused about what his point was and just so generally confused id end up suffering from anxiety and fear.

i never cheated on him. i never even spoke to another male because i was so afraid he would be upset. an example was = i was at work, he came in but i did not see him, i kept working.

him - did you see me?
me - no!! sorry
him - well you smiled at me
me - oh weird ( i start getting anxious now because i feel like ive done something wrong)
him - why did you smile at me?
me - i dont remeber smiling at you
him - well you did, do you always smile at random guys then??
me - no?
him - oh well thats kind of weird tho, dont you think?

and this would go on and on and on and on and on you have no idea... i couldnt get out of it. i never knew what to say.

anyway we are over now. but now i feel like i am dealing with anxiety issues kind of, like worried about trusting any1 again. because that realtionship used to make me so nervous, i feel like i lived in fear.
i dont want to take this with me, but how do i get through this?!

[Benni]

It's going to take a lot of time to get over this. I was in an abusive marriage for years and it took years for me to recover/heal when it was finally over.

You could try counseling. You can also google "domestic violence" for sites that have lots of info and helpful advice. I use to know a lot of those places but don't know if I can post links to them or not (is that allowed?).

Hang in there-- it DOES get better.

[jil]

may be living with a sick person has made u sick!u should try being friends with a guy,rather than falling in a relationship! i feel friends can make u feel better and take the fear out of u!!
talk to people!this is an exercise!and hope this would help u~!



good luck!

[Benni]

may be living with a sick person has made u sick!u should try being friends with a guy,rather than falling in a relationship!

What are you- 12? She's not sick at all! She's trying to recover from an abusive relationship!

Kelly7777, like I said, get help where you can and you will get over this eventually and, hopefully, learn from this bad experience.

[workingman78]

of course you are dealing with some anxiety, this is all you have known for some time. The best thing you can do is go out and do some dating. After a couple of dates you will realize that not all men are like that. You just need some new experience with normal men.

[jil]

i didn't mean her to be sick at all,what i meant was its staying with her previous boyfriend has made her feel like this,, and she should hang around with some frnz to get over it!
that's all.

[Sara E. Parker]

You must slowly get over this.
Find a guy who will respect you and you will start to forget him.

[kelly7777]

hey guys thanks for your comments.

i know im not sick.. but i know what you mean and ot be honest i feel like i have taken on some of his habits, or habits i have fallen into by being with him. i know this doesnr really help but i also decided to change cities and in the new city i have some friends but not that many, and my subconcious is almost acting in a way that i befriend people now and then feel like - very quickly that they are going to screw me over or something. boys i dont trust too well, and there has been some interest and im surprised - i dont think about my x, and i dont seem to miss him but i have taken with me some memories or bad experiences and its like i am defensive or something.... my x had a very dominant personality and i have now gone to the opposite to make sure i dont get that again :S

[Benni]

Smart girl to move to another city! I had to move to another state to get away from my abusive husband! Good on you for choosing a different type of guy, too! You'll be ok, just give yourself time to learn to trust again.

[kelly7777]

thanks benni