Boyfriend is answering and posting personal ads on Craigslist (dating section)

[Hellotiffy]

My bf is turning 25 in a few days, our one year is on the same day. We've been living together for 5-6 months. (known each other for almost 2 years)*

Truth be told. I met him in the personal ads on Craigslist too. I was new and not too social in the new area because I was still bitter about moving. I went on Craigslist, posted an ad in the strictly platonic section *(lets talk, maybe a movie hang out and grab coffee thing.)*

He responded, and we actually started talking through text / online messaging, and a couple weeks later we decided to go see a movie together.

*We got really closer and closer then..... One of my bestfriend's, friend also used the personal ads from Craigslist and found out he too responding to her ad (he sent in his picture and she regconized me in there because I WAS IN THE GROUP PICTURE WITH HIM) this was a DATING AD.

I confronted him and he told me it was out of curiosity of how the women looked. Or if these ads were real or bots. And it's a weird hobby of his. &a little bit where he really wanted to meet someone amazing and he thought i wasnt interested... Something along those lines.*

We worked things out, and well we dated for a year. He promised he would put an end to it and he was embarrassed. He gave me the pw to his email and said I can check anytime. I checked 3-4x for the first month of our relationship, I started trusting him again and stopped keeping a close eye.*

Now things appear pretty shady again.... Not only had he changed the password to that email, he completely deleted it off his iPhone. (iPhone has this app where you can read your gmail and yahoo all in one inbox) i didn't think much of it at first, I just thought he wasn't going to use that old email and the pw wasn't easy to remember.*

But I went into his sent email for his "professional" email account because I was curious at where he was trying to apply for jobs, and saw the personal ad emails... They had his photos. His legit personal description, and named me the exgf.... Is this his boredom again? Isn't it worse that he used real information about himself and a real photo? He's using his work email to send but he gets responses from his personal old email. He hasn't met anyone in person, but how do I know when he's in his office alone he isn't having a connection with another woman ? His post read how he just got out of a relationship and is looking for a "clean, cute/sexy, smart Asian" and I know, all hell rain on me for being a crazy snooping gf, but it's a freakn iPhone, they make snooping easy, anyway I clicked his trash for his personal and for a 3 second lag I saw messages in there about a lonely girl or something. But there were three different conversations. Anyway they were deleted in the trash ... *Kdjsdjf sigh...*


I put the phone away and stepped back, but do men do this as a hobby? Apparently a lot of men do this, i googled, and gfs forgave them, but its so hard. Is it possible to step to this level when you live with a gf that literally caters to him? Cook, clean, pick up dinner, iron... Buy gifts... I treat him better than myself sometimes.*

[workingman78]

I think he is fishing, are you and him having problems? he is acting like he is getting to move on

[Wakeup]

He promised he would put an end to it

This is the crux of the matter. HE PROMISED to put an end to it and you've just found out he has reneged on that promise. What you do with that information is your perogative. Me, I'd give him the curb. He is untrustworthy and and liar. Not my cup o tea. Not to mention he plays on your naivety and he's turned you into a snooping stalker from not not being able to trust him and his lies.

Your gut is telling you something. Listen to it is my advice.

You're forgetting that he PROMISED you he wouldn't do it again and he is. If you don't see that as a problem then carry on in denial. Just try to not worry about it and quit yur snooping.

Be good to yourself, Hellotiffy.

[Hellotiffy]

I think he is fishing, are you and him having problems? he is acting like he is getting to move on

No... I don't see it. We still are intimate. We aren't going out on dates as much because we're saving money, but we still eat out together. He did this in the past. Even told his friends it was a hobby when I confessed to him what I knew, HIS friends were on my side an he was simply embarassed and stopped. Not sure if his bad habit is back or if he's really out looking.

[warsaw]

Maybe he wants to just feel like other girls want him and do nothing about it.. it's hard to know.. either way he shouldnt be doing it.

[Hellotiffy]

You're forgetting that he PROMISED you he wouldn't do it again and he is. If you don't see that as a problem then carry on in denial. Just try to not worry about it and quit yur snooping.

I'm not forgetting that. :/ it's just I too have had my wrongs and he's forgiven me. We put a lot into this relationship, and the trust we have will be broken again, can't say if I'm willing to try to fix it again.... Also it might hurt a little less knowing its just a hobby and he really wasnt scouting. At least he was still loyal to me on that level.

[warsaw]

Ok you may have had your wrongs but you don't go posting on dating sites like craigslist asking for guys to hit on you or calling him your ex. I know it's tough when you put something into a relationship and someone hurts you. Believe me I know. Tbh he doesn't sound like a great bf. You're cooking and cleaning and taking better care of him than yourself. That is not right. You deserve someone that loves you and does nice things for you instead of you jumping through hoops for him. My advice would probably be to leave him because it sounds like a 1 way relationship with you making all the effort... You could also tell him that it needs to stop or you're gone. He doesn't sound very honest either...

Hope this helps, sorry if I was a bit harsh but I hate seeing people not being treated right!

[Wakeup]

I'm not forgetting that. :/ it's just I too have had my wrongs and he's forgiven me. We put a lot into this relationship, and the trust we have will be broken again, can't say if I'm willing to try to fix it again.... Also it might hurt a little less knowing its just a hobby and he really wasnt scouting. At least he was still loyal to me on that level.

It takes two too fix a relationship. Just remember that just you working on it won't be enough to make you happy. Good luck... as I said, the broken promise, the second time breaking the same relationship boundary would be enough for me to leave, lick my wounds alone and move on.

[workingman78]

You are safe, comfortable, etc, but he is obviously hunting for something more exciting. Either way you guys have a lot to talk about, and he has violated your trust.

[misombra]

i would dump him and try looking for a "friend" on a dating website with a better reputation. craigslist is for free love.

free love, don't bank on it baby.