Why does he act this way?

[joanne10]

Me and my ex split properly a while ago but recently started seeing each other again because we still had feelings for each other. The biggest prob for me in our relationship was i couldnt trust him and at times he was aggressive especially when i would confront him about things he would be doing. We live in two seperate cities so we see each other when we can and i never bother with any guys when im home even tho i have had the chance to but i wont move on. I think about him all the time but hes the kind of guy that will go out with his friends and chat up girls and buy them drinks and maybe sleep with them and next min hes getting calls and they are added on his facebook although he denies all this. I have seen things in his flat when i have gone down there to think otherwise but he is always accusing me of going with guys and that everyman on my facebook i have been with or that i am aways adding new man friends which is not true im just not like that but he wont listen to me. Anyway this weekend i went over there and we was going out on the sat night and we had been cool. His ex had rang him on the phone and he told her he was busy i was mad about it but didnt say anything to cause an argument so left it. We were listening to some music and he said that that song reminded him of his friend sarah This is a new girl he has added on his fb list and in six years i have never heard of her i asked him who she was and he said a friend like the friends i have on my fb. I just left it after that comment.

Then later that day i see a list of womans names on a sheet of paper on his desk about 12-15 names sarahs name was on there and another girls name with the gym she works for next to it in brackets and i asked him about it and he was like so what!! but didnt tell me what it was all about just shuffed it to one side we carried on getting ready for our night out and he was messing about dancing around laughing and joking then we left. Walking to the bus stop a guy came out of the taxi rank and looked at me cus i had a short dress on and my guy was like look at him i was like well i am dressed like this and he was like but i bet ur used to that and enjoy it dont you and i was like no and then he started saying i cant tell him nothing about the girls on his facebook and the list he had at home because i do it myself and its a piss take and he kept going on and on and started getting aggresive in the street shouting your take the piss all the guys you know in your city all your new mates etc etc to the point i started to cry in the street because i knew he was wrong about me. after about 15 mins he said sorry and we wet on our night out and had a gd night he was so nice all night we went home verything was ok again.

Next morning i woke up and he was lying beside me awake and in a bad mood and i was like whats wrong and he said im just angry about last night and lay there in a bad mood. I didnt wana argue so i got up and started geting ready to go home. When i was leaving him i told him to just leave me at the tube because he wasnt well. i said id make my own way so he said ok and walked me to the tube. As we were talking i kept seeing his eyes looking at all the girls walking past whilst i was talking to him then i gave him a hug and told him to go on home and when i hugged him and pulled away he held me a little longer so i didnt see him watching a girl walk by with a jumper dress on. Inside i was pissed off but i didnt show it then my phone went so i was talking to my mum expecting him to say i going now but he just hung about and he kept saying go on then. To me he was hanging round the station because that girl was outside and it was like he was waiting for me to go to chat her up. I just left and got my train.

When i got back i had a word with him on the phone about the things he had done and he started shouting saying i was a mug and this and that and i hadnt appreciated the way he had looked after me when i went over and hung up the phone. He has now blocked me on facebook in a huff but he is still calling me and wants to meet me again this weekend but to be honest i dont really feel like going i just feel like leaving him to it now and my feelings have kinda changed since i came back.

I just dont understand why he acts this way. I dont do anything with anyone else and im always thinking of him and rushing down there to be with him but end up coming back miserable. He doesnt think he does anything wrong and when i try and talk to him about it he gets aggressive and turns it round on me. What should i do???

[Wakeup]

Can you give us one good reason (other than the sex) why you went back to this abusive turd? What do you love about him? What loving actions does he show you on a consistant and, well, loving basis? Why do you stay to be blamed because some guy looks at you. What some random does is totally out of your control yet he makes it your fault. That's sick and dilusional and abusive thinking.

Here's some things I've gleened just from your one post:

He blames you for something that is totally out of your control.
He's mentally and verbally abusive
He's an obvious player
He's untrustworth so in turn, you can't trust him.
He's disrespectful
He's a liar.

Can you give us a list of what's good about him and end it with why you insist on being with him when you're so bloody unhappy there?

Your thread question is "Why Does He Treat Me This Way?" The answer is because you allow him to by staying and accepting the abuse he wields to you. My suggestion: Don't allow him to anymore by getting as far away (and staying away) from him as possible.

Be good to YOU.

[Leona77]

What should i do???

Dump him and block all contact with him. Then try to forget about him.

I'd seriously like to hear your answers to Wakeup, although I suspect that there are any good things about him that could possibly override theese ones:

Wakeup:

He blames you for something that is totally out of your control.
He's mentally and verbally abusive
He's a player,
He's untrustworth so in turn, you can't trust him.
He's disrespectful
He's a liar.

[joanne10]

I kept going back because i genuinly loved him and he kept telling me when we split that he had changed and that i was the only one he wanted. He makes me feel happy about myself and always compliments me and make me feel wanted. He helped me out financially and was always there when i needed someone to talk to. He is very loving towards me when we are together then i go and see things or hear about things then i start going at him and then when he is confronted then he changes and gets aggressive. Then his abuse starts and he makes me feel like ive over-reacted and go on about things for no reason and really makes me feel guilty after a while i end up saying sorry to him and there have been times when he has caused the whole argument and ive been the one apoligising. I knw im wrong in allowing this to go on and your right in what you say. I have always listened to my heart rather than my head he has two personalitys one minute he can be the most lovley guy and the next a total prick!

[Leona77]

I kept going back because i genuinly loved him and he kept telling me when we split that he had changed

So did he? Not according to you first post, which means he is a liar.

He makes me feel happy about myself and always compliments me and make me feel wanted.

Really? I thought he made you feel

end up coming back miserable

and that

i started to cry in the street

You ae contradicting yourself. A comliment here & there can come from a random stranger or acquantance, but your boyfriend needs to do a lot more!

there have been times when he has caused the whole argument and ive been the one apoligising

Your whole post reeks of this behaviour of his. He is bullying you and manipulatig you and guilt-tripping you just because he gives you compliments? How does he make you feel happy with just that?
I am sorry, but it is not acceptable in my book. He is an abusive bully who prays on your weaknesses. His behaviour will eventually make you lose all your pride and self-esteem. Why do that to yourself?

[Wakeup]

OP: You know what you need to do. You just need the confidence and self-worth/respect to do it. You can and you will get better than what you settle for in him if you allow yourself too.

Be good to yourself. You're not doing that right now.