Girlfriend of 2 years and me broke up, tried to stay friends and ruined everything

[Someguy03]

I'm 21 and my ex girlfriend is 19. We were best friends for 1 year and then fell in love and we were together for 2 years. Finally she left for college this year (6 hours away). We tried to do the long distance thing for 3 months but eventually that broke down and just turned into fighting and bickering from barely seeing each other (once a month+)

We tried so so hard but it just wasn't working. About a month ago we finally we mutually called each other and started crying and decided we needed to break up due to the distance, and we did.

I guess we both weren't really ready for that and ended up staying in contact almost the same amount as before as "friends". We continued to tell each other everything and talked almost daily. Now that we weren't together we started seeing other people and got jealous of each other, and fought more but still continued to talk.

Fast forward a month and a half of attempting to stay best friends, and our friendship is virtually dead now. It turned into daily arguments and fighting.

After ignoring me the last 2 weeks, I finally got her to call me on Sunday..she was beyond pissed. She told me that she doesn't want me to contact her anymore. She said the 2 weeks we didn't talk she was so happy because there was no more fighting and she was happy with her college life (she is very social, in a sorority, etc). She said during those 2 weeks she never thought about me unless I texted her and "cringed" when I did. And she threw in that knowing each other has never been good (exaggerating much?), and that we can't be real friends anymore.

I haven't finished community college yet and I am still in our home town. I can tell she resents me and thinks I am unhappy & jealous of her, and believes somehow my unhappiness is causing me to try and try and "drag her down" with me and keep her from starting a new life and being happy.

I care about her so much and I only want her to be happy, I can't believe I was so selfish and didn't realize what was happening.

I can't stand where we are at now. I wish we had broken up and stopped talking and salvaged our relationship while we could. I am heart broken that it has come to this. Trying to stay friends through all of this turned us on each other and destroyed any feelings she had for me.

Any advice? All I want to do is sit down with her and tell her I'm sorry things have come to this.

[triplikeido]

that stinks man im really sorry to hear that. Over the course of time your relationship has probably gone through many changes and right now it has kinda taken a turn for the worse. I think right now the best thing you can do is leave her alone. let her enjoy college and experience it. its her freshman year shes discovering lots of things....you had to have known or at least had a feeling that things were going to change when she went to college. Long distance relationships are hard but meeting new people and building a life at a college is hard, and time consuming between sorority and academics.. and a long distnace boyriend... is a lot for an 18 year old girl. let her go man. for now. maybe sometime down the line you can reconnect and slowly build your relationship back up. Right now what shes doing is enjoying life where she is living, and thats what you should be doing to. enjoying life wherever you are. so drop the issue, give her what she asks for and move on. its gonna hurt, but itll get better. being 21 and in a relationship since you were 19 i imagine you are still doing a lot growing up as well. Enjoy that! let the issue go and allow it to make room for other things that you can bring into your life that will make you happy. you and her both deserve happiness, and if that happiness is achieved apart, then let it be. it doesnt mean its forever. just keep an open mind about the posibilities!