Dont know what to do, Need advise please!

[Needhelp???]

Hello, So I have been with my fiance for about 4 years and we plan to wed in September but I'm starting to doubt even being together. Lately I find nearly everything she does annoying. She is very messy and when she rarely picks up she sucks at it. Before this wouldnt bother me as much but thinking about living like that forever just kills me. I'm a clean freak, I like to have everything clean and in order. She hates my mom!!!! What can I do? If we break up do I get my ring back??? It was about 10k so I would like to, I financed a car under my name and I regret that everyday, so I feel kinda stuck!!!

[smackie9]

You just realized how important compatibility really is for a relationship to last for the long haul. You can't place a value on happiness now can you? Cut your loses and find the right one, with more wisdom under your belt. And yes you should get the ring back because it is part of a contract to marry....you don't marry the ring goes back to you period....it is NOT a parting gift. Call the bank to pull out on the loan, pay the penalty and have the car sold to cover losses. 10K for a ring? There ain't no pussy in this world worth that.

Take the ring to cover whatever costs on the car, there done.

[Gypsybell]

I agree with smackie9. I never heard anyone sound less in love than you! Definitely don't marry this girl. You are tired of the relationship and marriage does not make anything better. plus, you would make her life miserable too. Untidy vesus tidy is a very big issue in marriage. It equates to easy going versus up tight, and each have their good points. Try to remember those good points and avoid a harsh break. If you don't live together at this point, then the ring and car finance are owed to you. But if you have been living together, then you are already as good as married as far as the law, and everybody else is concerned.

You will have equal riights to joint property if that's the case, so she's entitled to half the car and getting the ring back will depend on her being willing to hand it over. It's actually pretty typical for people who've been living together for years to plan to marry (sometimes as a way to pep up a flagging relationship) only to escalate a break up when the permanance of their flaws comes home to roost. Be glad you didn't pay for the flash wedding too, and you can be sure kids would increase the mess! I would certanly terminate any joint financial agreement and get the car sold if that's the only way.

[smackie9]

He lives in the states....living common law is not recognized as being married so no it is not joint property unless you are legally married. She is entitled to jack s hit unless her name is on it.

[Sara E. Parker]

Stay out of this relationship.
It will get worse as you live longer with her.

[bulrush]

Legally speaking, in most states, she does not have to give the ring back, as it was a gift from you to her. But if she's a nice person, she will give it back.

[smackie9]

Many courts look at an engagement ring as a conditional gift that is given in contemplation of marriage. If there is no marriage, then the engagement ring needs to be returned.

Iowa
Kansas
Michigan
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin

The courts also have held in these states that the reasoning for no-fault divorces holds for no-fault broken engagements so an engagement ring should always be returned regardless of who decided to call off the engagement.