How to deal with my ex-boyfriend?

[Kristinaloves]

Hello all,

Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for about a year and 2-3 months. I broke up with him (oficially, I mentioned break up before) in September because I fell out of love with him (long distance relationship, I was sad, crying and unhappy and he thought I will get over it and didn't give me as much support as I would like him to - basically we have different views on relationships). Now he tries to get me back, promises me everything, checks on me when I am out to make sure I am not in a company with a boy (although I told him I will respect him and not go out with anyone for a while).

All this is very exhausting for me, it's like having a child and making sure he is alright. He threatens to kill himself everytime I tell him the bare fact that I don't love him anymore, I don't want to be with him anymore. If I ignore him, he goes mental and calls me hundred times in a row at nights (I can't switch my phone off because then my alarm won't work in the morning). He really wants to see me in January for 4 days as a 'friend', and I don't know how to explain him I don't want him here. I don't mind seeing him in the future but now, I need a break from him, and yes, I told him this, but he always finds a way to twist my words and says I am lying to him when I said we can be friends,that I don't care about him and that I am selfish blah blah...

Any idea how to encourage him to move on? Thanks

[Boisdevie]

Ignore him completely. Cruel to be kind and all that. And all this talk of suicide - he's just trying to mess with your head.

[bulrush]

You can't encourage him to move on because he is mentally unstable. And he doesn't understand boundaries, I think.

1. Ignore all his phone calls, texts and all communication.
2. Tell your family and friends NOT to mention him and if he calls your family, your family should say you are not available.
3. Get a watch with an alarm or a cheap digital alarm clock. You can get them in any town for $10. Or get one on Ebay.
4. And turn off your phone.
5. Can't you ignore his phone number on your phone? Most phones can do that.

[smackie9]

Why are you even talking to him? All he is doing is manipulating you, laying guilt trips on you. Stop it! Block emails, phone number, etc. Do not respond, or look at another message.

[Kristinaloves]

Thanks for advice guys

He doesn't know my family, I am not English and my whole family lives in my home country, so I don't have to worry about that. I kept talking to him because I felt sorry for him and thought it would be easier for him if we stay in touch, but I am going to ignore him from now on.

[smackie9]

That's good to hear. His issues are not your problem anymore....now you will be able to move on with your life without disruption.

[MaidenMinx]

May I also suggest you buy an alarm clock...

[Kristinaloves]

haha you may, but I will buy it only if he keeps ringing me at nights

[LuvGuru]

I agree with Bilrush follow his advice and you will be fine.