Please help, please.

[Lolah]

Hi All,

I'm new here and would really appreciate to take advice from all of you.

I had this 4-yr relationship with my ex-boyfriend who happened to have a new found adore a month after we broke up. I really feel dumped that time. I was so shocked and surprised that we'll end up unexpectedly and just like that. His reasons are: we've been fighting constantly, he got fed up on me, he wanted to explore and he wanted to make sure if it's me that he want to share his lifetime with.. and a lot more reasons. I couldn't let go of him that easy so I said that I would only stop if there is someone out there that interests him.

Two months after the break up, he came up and asked me to give him a chance. We talked about the break up and he said that he did just because he really wanted a time-off and space between us. And about the new found adore, he explained to me that he used that girl so I can let go of him. I'm very willing to give another chance but the thing is, if he really wanted me back, he should've insisted break up with that woman. So I answered him back no and he didn't pursue at all. All I wanted from him was effort.

Two months again after that event, I was the one who chased after him despite that he's committed. What triggered me to do that was maybe, we can still have another chance because he wanted me back (although he didn'd pursue) . All along we were okay, he broke up with the woman and started hanging out again. Btw, while he's still in a relationship when we started going out and the woman has no idea at all that we've been seeing each other. I keep on fighting for him. He said that he's not ready for a commitment again and a lot has happened already. Still I said, I'll wait for him. I wanted him back that I'm hurting too much because he still can't cut ties with the other party. He also said that he's still uncertain and he can't choose right away, his heart goes for me but his mind shouts for the that woman. While we were okay, I found out that they're also seeing each other again and that hurt me so bad. Until he told me that he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. After all the things I did, months of fighting for him and all that For the second time around, same reason, same woman, different time, it happened to me again.


I feel so depressed.

[smackie9]

So sorry for your heartbreak......but you have to realize that no good comes out of perusing someone that already is in a relationship, regardless you had a history or not with them. Now it's time to finally move on.

[Lolah]

I guess so. I'm on the process of moving on, but its really hard. What do I need to think to lessen the sadness?

[Kokz143]

Sorry to hear about this. Yes, moving on is all you have to right now. There's no point in holding on for too long. Whenever you feel blue, listen to some good inspirational songs. Hang out with your friends quite often and focus more on what you have to do in life. Time heals all the pain. Take care.

[bulrush]

I'm sorry this is so hard for you. Do you want a commitment? Sounds like he does not.

[smackie9]

Time and changing your focus with help you get over it more quickly.