i dont understand what hes done.......

[brisingrfire]

my boyfriend dumped me a week ago....and i am struggling.
tired of people telling me il get over it.
i am very much in love with him.

he told me he wanted me, he wanted to live with me, he wanted to love me, he wanted everything with me. but that he felt no spark with me.
im pretty black and white about love, i dont believe in sparks and the one, what i had with him is what love is for me. this is my first relationship because i was always too scared to let someone be close. this proves i shouldnt have let him get close in the first place.

we get on so well....like the best of friends. he is my bes friend. we are friends now. but i cant let go. i always want to talk to him and be with him. im having trouble adjusting to moving back home. we were together for just over a year. last month we celebrated our one year together. one year isn enough for me.

i dont understand how he can want all that hes said with me but dump me because its not turned out like the love ideal hes holding onto in his head.
when we first met he told me he didnt believe in that sort of thing but it looks like he does.

hes so indifferent and unromantic that i didnt expect what was coming.
he says hes never lied....but he lied everytime he told me he loved me.

i wonder if anyone understands this better then me. because if i dont understand i wont be able to let go and itl make life worse.

he let me have anything i wanted, we got pets together, i did live with him partly. he did things to make me happy.

so why is it im not good enough?
why is it him wanting everything with me isnt good enough?

[slantedhalo20]

I have been in your boyfriends situation. And I imagine this wasnt an easy decision for him.

People have different ideals when it comes to love. I strongly believe in a "spark" and if its not there, then its dangerous to continue the relationship. My ex boyfriend and I were together 2 and a half years, a year into it, I loved him, and cared for him, but there was no passion, nothing. I stuck it out, and for a year and a half after that I was miserable, I started to feel nothing for him, because I couldnt feel the passion. Which made us both miserable, it may be hard to see now, but your boyfriend was probably putting you first. Stringing someone along is never good, and always ends in worse heartache then telling the truth.

He may want all these things with you because he loves you and cares for you, but if he thinks theres something missing, and its something that would effect your relationship in the long run, he did the right thing.

I imagine hes hurting too. Its a very confusing time for him, and although it seems like the worst thing in the world now, later on in life you'll see it was for the best. x