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Thread: Help

  1. #1
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    Help

    Hi everyone

    Well, I'll just cut to the chase:

    Almost 6 months ago, I met a guy. He was funny, sweet, romantic, thoughtful, blablabla. We used to call for hours every day, we texted quite often and so on. There was a connection, so we fell in love. Now since a few months ago, it seems like he just never has time for me anymore. He texts me rarely, only to ask something or mention something, he calls me once a week if I'm lucky!

    I'm quite confused. In the beginning I thought he didn't like me anymore, but was too afraid to mention it, but whenever I start about ending our relationship, he protests and doesn't want to hear about it.

    I just feel neglected and unimportant in comparison to how I used to feel. He made me feel special, and now not so much anymore. I feel like a burden, since I always nag about the fact that I feel out of touch with him. He just never makes me feel special anymore. He never tells me he loves me. He said it once and that didn't really sound convincing. I just can't figure out what he's thinking. And I kind of feel selfish for saying this, but he never buys me any stuff. In these 6 months I know him, he's never given me anything. It's not really about the material stuff for me, but just the thought.

    But I basically just feel bad 'cause he acts like I'm just a piece of furniture in his life. Something practical, but not really worth spending attention or thought to.

    EDIT:

    I sent him a message yesterday saying that I want to end it for good. Before people comment on how lame a break-up message is...well, it was basically my only option. He rarely picks up his phone, since he's always busy, I rarely see him, since he's always busy. I didn't want to drag it out any longer so the conclusion in my text was, since I need more effort from him than he's willing to give me, it's better to end it. He didn't text me back, nor did he call me or anything. I'm not sure what this means. Was it a silent agreement, but he couldn't be bothered to text or call me back? Or is he just angry?

    I know it isn't supposed to matter, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love him anymore. It would be better if it ended, because being with him was a constant battle with myself and him, but then again, if thats all it takes for him to give up on me... well, it's a bitter pill to swallow.

    It's weird, I don't like the feeling of being with him, but I don't like the feeling of being apart either. *sigh*
    Last edited by Desperate; 30-11-11 at 02:41 PM.

  2. #2
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    maybe a case of he's won the woman so why bother continuing the hunt.

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    Quote Originally Posted by stuckies View Post
    maybe a case of he's won the woman so why bother continuing the hunt.

    So what do I do?

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    you can be honest and ask to talk with him. a gf did this with me once and i said i would leave right away. so maybe you can call him out on it and fix it. there will be a cool off period but it shouldnt go flat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oldskool83 View Post
    you can be honest and ask to talk with him. a gf did this with me once and i said i would leave right away. so maybe you can call him out on it and fix it. there will be a cool off period but it shouldnt go flat.
    Talking is useless. He doesn't get it, nor does it change anything about our situation.

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    If he cared, he would have done something when you mentioned that you noticed a difference. Do you hold on to him because you still love him, or you love the way he used to be and hope he can get back to that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by random bundy View Post
    If he cared, he would have done something when you mentioned that you noticed a difference. Do you hold on to him because you still love him, or you love the way he used to be and hope he can get back to that?


    Well, his explanation for his behavior is 'cause 'its just the way he is', though I know he was once more loving and caring.
    I'm trying to figure out what's changed.

    I know he's not going to change back to how he used to be, even if I sometimes cherish that silly hope, so I think it's mainly because I still love him.

    Any advice?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperate View Post
    Talking is useless. He doesn't get it, nor does it change anything about our situation.
    Ok, then its time to end it. If you're only 6 months in and its all gone to sh*t its not going to get any better. Communication is key, and if he won't communicate, then its a lost cause.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cerby View Post
    Ok, then its time to end it. If you're only 6 months in and its all gone to sh*t its not going to get any better. Communication is key, and if he won't communicate, then its a lost cause.


    I guess you're right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperate View Post
    Well, his explanation for his behavior is 'cause 'its just the way he is', though I know he was once more loving and caring.
    I'm trying to figure out what's changed.

    I know he's not going to change back to how he used to be, even if I sometimes cherish that silly hope, so I think it's mainly because I still love him.

    Any advice?
    there's your answer. He is unwilling to make any effort to change. He's pretty much told you to deal with it.

    You either put up with this crap and remain unhappy dreaming of how he once was or walk away to find someone better for you.x

  11. #11
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    Thrill of the chase, novelty, getting you into bed.... It's all worn off now. He's bored, can't be arsed but doesn't want the hassle of breaking up.
    "Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"

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    Quote Originally Posted by steviej View Post
    Thrill of the chase, novelty, getting you into bed.... It's all worn off now. He's bored, can't be arsed but doesn't want the hassle of breaking up.
    Uhm. Okay. Thanks for the hard info.

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    Someone???

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    You've had a load of replies all telling you the same thing! He has lost interest. What happens next is up to you.
    Apologies if my previous reply was harsh, but i've been the guy stuck in a relationship because it's easy. You have no desire to make any effort but just keep someone around because its convenient. It's like you'll tell them what they want to hear but don't back it up through action.
    "Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"

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    Quote Originally Posted by steviej View Post
    You've had a load of replies all telling you the same thing! He has lost interest. What happens next is up to you.
    Apologies if my previous reply was harsh, but i've been the guy stuck in a relationship because it's easy. You have no desire to make any effort but just keep someone around because its convenient. It's like you'll tell them what they want to hear but don't back it up through action.

    Yeah, I've edited my opening post, thats why I upped this topic, but it's clear now. His phone was in his car.

    The story is over.

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