Fiancé of 5 years doesn't know if she wants to be with me :'(

[g_h]

Hello all, I don't really know how to put this down so i will simply start from the beginning:

I am a 28 year old guy from the North of England, fairly average and typical in most ways.

In March 2006 I was 22 and met a girl in a local pub, she was 25 and was an exchange student from Germany we hit it off and started what i believe to be a short term relationship with no real future, however over the course of the next few weeks i really fell in love with this girl and felt really loved in return, i had never ever experienced anything like that in my life.

Her time at my Uni was up in July and she was due to head back to Germany, at the time i lived at home with my parents and i wanted her to stay, we decieded to get a flat together as i have a job and we could afford to stay together.

She got a job within a few months, and we she was working 8AM-4PM and i was working 2PM-10PM... obviously we did not get to see each other enough and i deceided to leave my good job and took anything i could so that we could be togther more often, i took a job in the same company as my girlfriend.

We continued happily like this until around May 2009 when i noticed that sex was drying up, we went from having it a few times a week to once every two weeks. I shoudl say aswell that after about 1 year into the relationship we both dicsussed our future, kids and marriage.. although i saw it as more a far off thing it was somethign we had discussed.

Around Oct/Nov 2009 we moved in with my mother due to an issue where the house we were renting decided they wanted to sell and we had to make a fast move, we exepcted to live at my parents as in the short term however we ended up there for almost a year when we couldn't take having no privancy anymore.. we did not have sex once during this period.

In Nov 2010 we moved into out own place, we both stil work at the same company - though in different roles, in December 2010 i proposed to her and she accepted, however i have to be honest and admit a small part of the reason for this was that i had felt out love was not as strong as in the past.

In July 2011 we had an argument/talk/disucssion/vent where we discussed some problem we have been having, i was getting short tempered.. it turns out teh reason we have not had sex was because i was said "i didn't want her coming onto me" which i cannot remember, but admit may be true, we both broke down and cried alot. I moved back into my parents for a week while i gave her space.

Since coming back we have had sex once and the relationship doesnt really feel like it did in the early days, i feel liek she doesnt see me in the way she used to, i would always catch her looking at me or just smiling at me wven when i wasnt aware.

Last night we had another talk/vent and she told me that she doesn't know if she wants to be with me, she says she loves me but doesnt know if there is a future. I'ms craed to not be with her, i love her so much i love everything about her and i want us to have a life together, this whole thing is competely ****ed, does anybody have any advice.

Apologies that this is written poorly.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up with her, and tell her you're open to reconciling but you don't want her stringing you along while she decides. Start moving on dude, she has already.

[Boisdevie]

Relationships break up - it's a fact of life and it sounds like your relationship has ended. You have to move one. Yes, it sounds cruel but there is no rule that says after X years it will be perfect. I was with my ex for 8 years and it ended.

[HeartIsAching]

So... you proposed because your sex life wasn't great, and you weren't "feeling it" anymore relationship-wise? Is that right? If so, that's COMPLETELY the wrong reason to get engaged. You can't fix a relationship that way. That's just a good way to end up in family court (or whatever they call it in the U.K.) getting divorced.

If it's important to you, find a relationship counselor that can help both of you figure out how to communicate properly. It sounds to me as if neither one of you is a terribly effective communicator. If it's not important to you, it's time to walk.