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Thread: Huge mistake!!

  1. #1
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    Huge mistake!!

    I made a HUGE mistake and broke up with my boyfriend because his friend wanted to hook up with and as a result would bad mouth me to him. At the time I could not take it anymore so I broke up with my boyfriend. After we broke up we talked here and there because I still cared about him. But once I realized that I wanted him back into my life one of my friends suggested that I cut off communication with him (the only communication we have is the fact that we are still facebook friends) to give him a chance to "MISS ME" and to make myself re-desirable to him (Is that the right thing to do). So I have been doing that but it is so hard. I can barely breath without him, I am in so much pain, and no other guy I feel with be as a perfect match for me. The only thing is he just recently started to talk to another girl. And now I have absolutely no idea what I should do, but I know that I really need to get him back! Help please!

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    Tell him the truth about his friend. No real friend blackmails a 'friends' gf.

    If you want him, you should tell him. Before you do so, please make sure in your own mind that your not trying to get back with him for the wrong reasons. It is unfortunately perfectly natural to become attracted to an ex when they find someone else before you, but there is usually a pretty good reason why you broke up in the first place. Personally, Id never just walk away if my gf's friend was making my life difficult, Id be honest and tell her and fight for the relationship.

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    Tell him that you played a game at someone's suggestion, and that you're sorry you played the game and that you'll never do it again. If he takes you back... never do it again.

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    Be honest with him and tell him you regret breaking up with him and want him back. And since you want him back you are in no position to play games with him. You don't want him to think you've moved on and he should too. So just be honest.

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    But once I realized that I wanted him back into my life one of my friends suggested that I cut off communication with him (the only communication we have is the fact that we are still facebook friends) to give him a chance to "MISS ME" and to make myself re-desirable to him (Is that the right thing to do).
    That's playing head games, dont do it. You will get a reputation for playing head games, because you took some bad advice from a friend, then all the boys will see you as worth nothing more than a one night stand.

    The only thing is he just recently started to talk to another girl.
    Because you are playing head games. Who can blame him?

    Talk to him, tell him the truth, and admit you were wrong to break up with him. But explain WHY you broke up with him (it was the stress from this other guy bad mouthing you.)
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by JustNotCricket View Post
    Tell him the truth about his friend. No real friend blackmails a 'friends' gf.

    If you want him, you should tell him. Before you do so, please make sure in your own mind that your not trying to get back with him for the wrong reasons. It is unfortunately perfectly natural to become attracted to an ex when they find someone else before you, but there is usually a pretty good reason why you broke up in the first place. Personally, Id never just walk away if my gf's friend was making my life difficult, Id be honest and tell her and fight for the relationship.
    That is exactly how I feel right now. I feel like that was stupid yes it was hard to deal with that particular friend but for the amount of happiness this person puts in my life I can most definitely deal with it. That's why I wrote on the forum because I am willing to fight and win him back and any cost I just do not know where to even start.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jb1111983 View Post
    Be honest with him and tell him you regret breaking up with him and want him back. And since you want him back you are in no position to play games with him. You don't want him to think you've moved on and he should too. So just be honest.
    So you think its definitely not a good idea to be seen with other guys because that will send a wrong message? (a girls perspective is a lot different because one of my girlfriends said try and make him jealous???)

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    Stop playing games and just tell him how you honestly feel.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen12 View Post
    So you think its definitely not a good idea to be seen with other guys because that will send a wrong message? (a girls perspective is a lot different because one of my girlfriends said try and make him jealous???)
    No, it isn't. It'll just make him move on quicker.

    STOP trying to play games. That's ALWAYS going to bite you in the ass.

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    Please tell me you're in high school. I'm sorry, but it's a good idea to be seen with other guys??? What is this.. high school?? Oh, I already said that.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

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    You win you lose you move on. Hope you learned something from this experience.

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    Quote Originally Posted by alwaystryin View Post
    Please tell me you're in high school. I'm sorry, but it's a good idea to be seen with other guys??? What is this.. high school?? Oh, I already said that.
    No I am not in high school thank you very much. I am actually a recent graduated of a CPA! thank u. However I have never had an experience like this and thus do not know how to win over a guy back when I made the mistake.

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    I'm sure the truth would get you much farther. Put yourself in his shoes and think of how you would feel if someone compromised your relationship by playing 'games' in order to manipulate your feelings. It's immature and selfish.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

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    Yeah I most definitely(100%) can see that I was very selfish so I know that I have to step out of my comfort zone and apologize then explain that I miss him but should I do it right now or wait to see how the situation with the new girl plays out first? Because if they are only together for a month or two then I will know that it was a complete rebound and if I still feel this way after a month (most likely will), they I should just be open and honest right there and then???

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    Personally you didn't make a huge mistake...you did the right thing by breaking up with him. If he has friends like that, then he is possibly just as much trouble as they are. You made a mature decision to get out, so don't make a mistake by getting back into that situation again, because if you do you will be right where you started.......it's time to let it go.

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