Translation of what I like to call "Male Speak," please :)

[annon25]

Hello there,

My boyfriend and I have been together for four months, and had the following conversation. I was wondering if any of you can gather any meaning out of the things he said here:

I was driving back home late one night with my boyfriend when he said for some reason or another "I don't like saying I love you in front of other people because it makes me feel girlie." [A guy thing. I totally understand.] But then he went on to tell me that being around me makes him feel "girlie." When I asked him to elaborate, he really didn't want to for the longest time, and finally caved. He told me that when he sees me after not having done so after 2 or 3 days, he feels "nervous." I asked him to elaborate more, he said "butterflies." He then went on to tell me that he's getting "comfortable" around me, and that it is "scaring him;" also that he never let any girl "get to him"--but that I was "getting to him." Lastly, he told me that his longest relationship was only 6 months. When I pointed out that we'd only been together for 4, he said "I know we're going to be together longer."

The more input, the better. Thanks, everyone!

-A

[surfhb]

He says he's falling in love with you

[MaidenMinx]

and it's scaring him, but that's ok because it scares everyone.

[IndiReloaded]

I would have no clue what that means, same as you. I wouldn't conclude it means he loves me tho. Only that he is confused.

[annon25]

Thanks for your responses--

Another opinion I got from a friend is that "you know a person is serious about you when they see a future with you." [Hence him "knowing" that we're going to exceed the duration of his last relationship.]

It seems that in the past few weeks, we've been getting a lot closer, and he's been acting a lot sweeter. He's opening up to me more little by little; and I've been noticing changes in behavior. Last night, while I was making him dinner [this was my first time cooking for anyone, ever] he was bopping around the kitchen trying to help me, when about a month ago, he would have been in the other room watching TV or playing video games with his roomie.

I guess I just didn't/don't know how to take it when he said that he gets "nervous" when he sees me, or that I've been "getting to him."

[bulrush]

I'm a guy. He's not used to being intimate and in love with someone. Pure and simple. I was the same way when I was young. I learned to enjoy being in love, and faced my fears. I no longer let my fears control me.

Guys are socialized very differently than girls when it comes to showing positive emotions like love. They are sometimes beat up for showing emotions in high school, in my day anyway, or tormented by being called gay. (Not so big a deal these days in most schools. But 20 years ago it was a big deal.) You should be patient but encouraging with him. Tell him how much it means when he acts "girlie", or shows or shares his emotions with you. Make sure you assure him his emotions will be private with you and you will not tell anyone about them.

[HeartIsAching]

He's telling you that he's falling for you, but that makes him vulnerable to you, which scares him. If he is too scared by that, he'll walk. It all depends on how much he's afraid of that vulnerability, how much he trusts you, and how badly he's been hurt in the past.

The ones that you love have the most power to hurt you.

[bcgirl]

he means that he is falling in love with you. He gets butterflies around you. You make him feel good. He is a man, but you make him feel "mushy" inside like he's still a little boy. It's a good thing. What you need to do now is make him feel comfortable and less scared about falling in love with you. Some people get defensive about love and getting their hearts broken. You need to show him that you'll never break his heart.

[all alone]

and to add to other's reply, he might have a commitment issues.. never been with anyone more then 6 months, not sure how he feels about it.. Definitely feeling vulnerable as others mentioned.

[annon25]

and to add to other's reply, he might have a commitment issues.. never been with anyone more then 6 months, not sure how he feels about it.. Definitely feeling vulnerable as others mentioned.

I was thinking about that as well, but then he went off and said that he "knew" we were going to be together longer....

[pisces25]

You need to show him that you'll never break his heart.

Not really. Because if she does end up breaking his heart he will definitely never want to fall in love again. Besides, no one can guarantee they won't break someone's heart. That's fairytale speak.

[annon25]

Not really. Because if she does end up breaking his heart he will definitely never want to fall in love again. Besides, no one can guarantee they won't break someone's heart. That's fairytale speak.

I really don't want to hurt him. I care about him more than I can say I've cared about anyone non-platonically. Ever since he told me that, and that I realize he's opened himself up to me, I feel like I have to be extra careful now.

[pisces25]

Just be yourself. If he has commitment issues or is scared about getting hurt nothing you say or do will convince him otherwise. He is falling in love with you, so don't change. Of course you can offer reassurance that you feel the same and stuff but you don't necessarily need to tread carefully.

[Muffin]

Sounds like he's gay.