I'm a colossal failure....

[Love'sReject]

When a guy describes himself as "The worst guy at dealing with women", it tends to be hyperbole; however, in my case, I am certain that I am indeed the worst guy at dealing with women.

I've done everything imaginable: Messaged first with seemingly reasonable conversation starters, projected an uber sense of confidence, switched between predetermined and pandering personas, and the most heinous crime of all: I've tried being myself.

The latter is something I advise my friends to never do under any circumstances: Can a woman handle what a man really is, rather than what he projects himself to be?

It is my hypothesis that that signals the end of a relationship: When the real arises from the superficial.

I am 21 years old, and ultra-bitter!

[MerryH]

Can a woman handle what a man really is, rather than what he projects himself to be?

Yes. Maybe you should stop projecting to be someone else? Few can pull it off without appearing insincere or fake, and why would you want to, anyway? You shouldn't try to attract someone with a false version of yourself. It's like winning an argument by lying and making up facts. I guess it could work for a short while, but eventually people are going to learn that you're full of shit.

Instead of being bitter and asking "Can a woman really handle this," you should be asking, "What is it about my personality or approach that doesn't work?"

[Love'sReject]

Yes. Maybe you should stop projecting to be someone else? Few can pull it off without appearing insincere or fake, and why would you want to, anyway? You shouldn't try to attract someone with a false version of yourself. It's like winning an argument by lying and making up facts. I guess it could work for a short while, but eventually people are going to learn that you're full of shit.

Instead of being bitter and asking "Can a woman really handle this," you should be asking, "What is it about my personality or approach that doesn't work?"

The reason for the personas is clearly that women don't like men's actual personalities; they live, love and thrive on drama, and those bad boys they like? They love the flawed character: it's the Nightingale Effect in action! So with myself being somewhat balanced in the world outside of the romantic, I am apparently too stable, too nice, too pure and good.

Solution? Become something I'm not? There's evidently no winning with honesty. Candor is too boring, not a challenge that women like.

Let's face it: By nature, women are contradictory, and there's no winning based on self-determinism. For example, women constantly complain about how guys act differently when alone with them as opposed to when out with mutual friends.

So my point is, everything they say they want is opposite to what they want, and what they implicitly don't want is what they actually do want.

[MerryH]

How about you stop assuming you've got everything about women figured out (you don't) and take everyone on a case-by-case basis instead of painting them all in the same negative light based on a few unsuccessful interactions with girls.

You've thrown your hands up and said, "Well, I've tried everything and nothing works" as if you're trying to figure out the one thing that's going to work on every woman. That doesn't exist. If you want to give up, fine, but don't blame an entire gender for your failure.

[Love'sReject]

Generalizations and stereotypes exist because they have a basis of truth.

Now, I am not blaming ALL or saying ALL women are alike..

More specifically, the COLLEGE girls demographic tends to match my description; there is something inherently leaning towards stereotypes about college girls.

[bluesummer]

The reason for the personas is clearly that women don't like men's actual personalities; they live, love and thrive on drama, and those bad boys they like? They love the flawed character: it's the Nightingale Effect in action! So with myself being somewhat balanced in the world outside of the romantic, I am apparently too stable, too nice, too pure and good.

Solution? Become something I'm not? There's evidently no winning with honesty. Candor is too boring, not a challenge that women like

Let's face it: By nature, women are contradictory, and there's no winning based on self-determinism. For example, women constantly complain about how guys act differently when alone with them as opposed to when out with mutual friends.

So my point is, everything they say they want is opposite to what they want, and what they implicitly don't want is what they actually do want.

Ok, I get that you're bitter, but if this is the what you actually think about women then trust me.....it projects in your personality. I can see a guy like you (and I've met more than a few men of your type) 'testing' women constantly when you speak with them to see if they meet your requirements, or if they'll somehow rise above your ridiculous sterotypes. It doesn't seem that you really like women at all TBH. Why would you want a relationship when you clearly find women shallow, full of drama, and contradictory?

By the way, you are not the first guy to come on here and make these sort of statements about women. All of you that do have the same thing in common: difficulty dealing with the opposite sex. Time to turn off the cyncism and maybe turn the mirror back on yourself. You've clearly got some work to do before you're relationship-ready.

For the record, nice guys always do well in the end. Every nice guy I know is married or partnered with an equally amazing woman. So all those guys that 'claim' to be the classic nice guy getting burned, I like to ask them if they're really as wonderful as they think they are. If they were, they'd have an amazing girl. It really does work like that.

[Love'sReject]

And then they get cheated on, because the marriage is apparently so saccharine..

[stuckies]

please don't feed the troll. Check this ones highly amusing other thread.

[Love'sReject]

So legitimate discussion is trolling?

I think someone taught you the wrong definition of "troll." New to the Internet?

[lovestinks82]

Generally nice guys don't lump women in the same category. Every human being is an individual. Some of us share the same traits but not all of us. Some girls aren't attracted to bad boys rather they seem to attract them. Much the same as nice guys attracting bad girls. If you're an easy target you're going to get blown away. Simple.

As for that saccharine marriage where do I sign up? I'd never cheat on anyone let alone the ideal husband. Oh wait that's right... Saccharine marriages only exist on television and if you want one I'd suggest keeping up to date with your cable bills.

[Love'sReject]

Generally nice guys don't lump women in the same category.

They do based on much experience, when they get fed up...

Anyway, the most successful marriages seem to be between two persons who know they can't really attract anymore or anyone better. I mean, to placate you, I'll have to put that into a percentage rather than a widespread generalization: It's got to be an 80% success rate between unattractive couples.

[HeartIsAching]

The reason for the personas is clearly that women don't like men's actual personalities; they live, love and thrive on drama, and those bad boys they like?

Wrong wrong wrong.

[Love'sReject]

Wrong? I? Never.

[HeartIsAching]

Enjoy your solitude.

Me, I'm going to kiss my beautiful, sexy, brilliant, goofy, funny, warm and wonderful wife when she comes home. Which one of us is right?

[Love'sReject]

Hm, I see my mistake: it's an error of semantics. WOMEN are at the age of commitment and generally those things I listed don't apply as frequently, whereas those things are key characteristics of GIRLS.

See? I know my stuff.