Cant work him out!!

[Beckyboo]

Sorry, i thought this was a discussion forum, not just an opportunity for grown men to throw insults

[stuckies]

harsh. Life, esp. when peoples emotions are involved.

[Beckyboo]

Was under the impression that this was a discussion forum, didnt realise that it was a world where everything is wonderful and stuff like this doesnt happen. Oh, and of course somewhere where u dont actually get advice, you just get insulted

[Wakeup]

Was under the impression that this was a discussion forum, didnt realise that it was a world where everything is wonderful and stuff like this doesnt happen. Oh, and of course somewhere where u dont actually get advice, you just get insulted

Well, you've come here asking for advice from a vanilla forum board when your dilema is regarding the infidelity on your husband and you wanting to know what the guy you were going to cheat with might be thinking/doing when he's plainly told you that he doesn't want to go through with an infidelity.

I suspect that people on a forum board for Adult Swingers would be less judgemental. Church and Society has taught us all to be rather possessive in our love to whom we've chosen as a life mate so what you did goes against the grain so to speak.

Perhaps that explanation will let you be less defensive of the replies you get?

[stuckies]

I think a little honesty is required not judging. We've all done or considered doing dumb things.

OP-I've sent you a private message.

[bulrush]

OP, if you want to be a swinger, or polyamorous, or in an open-relationship, fine. Be honest with all parties involved. Call his wife and tell her what you want with her husband. But you didn't indicate you want to be honest and open. You want him to cheat on his wife, and you want to cheat on your husband, in a secret affair. So don't whine when we call you out on it, because you are not approaching this in a mature way.

Admit you are too weak to be honest, and stop trying to defend the indefensible.

I'm certainly open to kinky and alternative lifestyles. But honesty and openness is a key concept in them. You want the benefit without the trouble of honesty.

You are not a kinkster, a swinger, or poly, you are simply a dishonest douchebag who doesn't care if they ruin someone else's marriage.

[valmont]

guess you didn't realize this was a forum filled with perfect people who have never been tempted or cheated or did anything wrong in their lives before you posted did you?

anyways...onto the advice you actually wanted. this guy sounds to nervous to have a good affair with. if you're gonna do it with someone don't waste it on him...sounds a bit like a pussy, the sex probably won't even be good.

[Beckyboo]

No i didnt! Wow!! Thanks for the advice on the last post. People are under the impression that i am trying to get him to leave his wife and im really not. All of this happened on his suggestion, not mine. He made it about sex, i just didnt disagree. People may not like that, but thats exactly how it was. Thank u to the last post on this thread, i know he is nervous andnim not pushing anything. As for the sex not being good, ur wrong there! I know it was and would be!

[Wakeup]

guess you didn't realize this was a forum filled with perfect people who have never been tempted or cheated or did anything wrong in their lives before you posted did you?

anyways...onto the advice you actually wanted. this guy sounds to nervous to have a good affair with. if you're gonna do it with someone don't waste it on him...sounds a bit like a pussy, the sex probably won't even be good.

Clear to see that monogamy is beyond you.
Op: If you don't want the opinons of us "perfect" people then I suggest you go to a loveshack lifestyle forum board and they'll all tell you exactly what you and valmont want to hear.

People are under the impression that i am trying to get him to leave his wife and im really not.

We're not under that impression at all. We are under the impression that you're trying to orchistrate having your cake and eating it to though and when your partner in crime backed out, you're disappointed and want to know why instead of telling yourself that what you were doing was a wrong against your hubby and backing out was for the best.

I suspect you'd feel better if you got the validation you're looking for but you're not going to get it form people who are against going behind thier spouses back to seek their self-worth and ego strokes from the attention of other men. (or women if the roles were reversed)

Stop being so defensive when you know what you are/were doing is underhanded towards your husband. If he constantly insults you and treats you poorly then I suggest you divorce the bastard and find a single man to have uncommitted sex with. Then, it's all perfectly perfect.

[valmont]

*here's a tissue bro*^

she asked for advice on a particular issue..if this wasn't the right forum for that she should have been redirected to a different one without the judgement.

[Beckyboo]

Valmont... Thank u. Much appreciated x x

[bulrush]

I'm not perfect and never claimed to be. But I have never cheated on someone, nor cheated with someone. I do have my pride. I have been approached by several girls, but I declined.

[smackie9]

Ya what's the point of getting married? Those wedding vows don't have any meaning to some anyways.......they are just words.

[stuckies]

maybe. things can and do go wrong, feelings change etc. Not saying it's an excuse it's just I've seen enough fairy tales turn sour.

[pisces25]

Of course fairytales turn sour. That is what divorce is for. Why the **** cheat when divorce is an option?