Cant work him out!!

[Beckyboo]

Hi guys. New to this, so please be patient! Just need a bit of advice because im struggling! Recently got in contact with an old boyfriend, by accident before u ask! Was in a relationship with this guy for 6 months, 15 yrs ago. He is married with children now, as am i. We have met a couple of times, just for a chat. He recently changed that though, bringing our texts and e mails to more of a sexual nature, what kinda stuff am i into, what do i like to do, etc. long story short, we decided to get it on. Then he called it off. He emailed a couple of times, u know, the classic its not me its u thing! Said he felt guilty. Left it at that, but then heard from him about a week ago, like nothing had really happened. Ive sent him a couple of e mails but he hasnt replied. Does he really feel guilty? Or is he just playing some stupid game?

[pisces25]

You are both married. Why are you even trying to figure out if he is game-playing or not? Sort out the issues in your marriage and leave this guy alone.

[bcgirl]

Wake up and see the bigger picture. You are married with children. He is married with children. What is wrong with you??!! Karma is a real b*tch and I hope you get your just desserts one day.

[smackie9]

He is just looking for an emotional affair....that is still CHEATING! Do yourself a favor, you should be on here asking about how to address your marital issues, not this childish crap about some ex thinking of having a fling with you or not....grow up.

[rightmeow!]

Slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart. You're as bad as each other. Too much reality TV for you, love.

[Beckyboo]

Well.... Thanks for the lecture guys! My question wasnt about my marraige, if i had needed to ask about that i would of. I asked what i asked because i wanted a guys take on the situation. If i needed a bollocking i would have asked the ladies! Thanks anyway

[pisces25]

What is wrong with your marriage? Why don't you want to talk about that? Perhaps we could help with that so you don't feel like seeking intimacy with a man that isn't your husband.

[Beckyboo]

Nothing is wrong with it. Just that there is history with the otherguy. No bad break up, nothing. It hasnt actually happened and its been three weeks now, so it probablynever will. Just wanted a guys take on the wayhe keeps playing with me thats all

[pisces25]

I am not a guy but I'd hazard a guess it's because he is married and realised what he was doing was wrong.

[vashti]

He has children. He probably realized that a romp in the hay with a middle-aged woman isn't worth losing his family over.

[Beckyboo]

Uneccesserily harsh last comment. If u really have nothing constructive to say, dont bother. If i wanted to be insulted continuously, id have just talked to my husband.

[smackie9]

If i wanted to be insulted continuously, id have just talked to my husband.

OH looky there! There's nothing wrong with your marriage huh.

[smackie9]

Actually, though Vashti's words were pretty insulting to you, she is right. He most likely realized the value of what he would be losing, just for a temporary fling. Guys like him are lacking intimacy in their marriage, so he dangled his shlong over the edge a little bit to see what would bite. You did, and he obviously snapped out of it.....lucky for him, just in time. Don't think for a minute you had something special going on there...it was just a moment of weakness on his part and nothing more. The majority of men in his position always go back the their wife....they married them for a reason....and with kids involved, how selfish one would be to destroy a family and a marriage just for (as Vashti put it) a romp in the hay.

[Beckyboo]

Thank u. The best piece of advice from this thread. I was never under the impression that we were going to run off into the sunset together. I knew what it was about from the word go. Was never under any illusion there. Just played with my head a little bit. Thank u x

[bulrush]

I think he wants to see you but doesn't have the guts to go through with it. I don't think he is playing a game. I don't think he has cheated in a marriage before so it's not easy for him to do so.

And the people around on this forum don't like cheating much. Maybe you can get advice from slag.com.