what am i? am i a booty call? :(

[jesslea]

I need some advice and light shed!

Im 27 and live in London, Ok so, Ive known this guy for 4 years, hes in his mid 30s, and live in New York. I met him over there 4 years ago. We would chat on the net quite often,sometimes for a few hours day after day! 6/7 months after we met he was here in UK with his friends on business , we met up one eve had drinks, met his friends, that was it. Then a few days later I met him again, we ended up sleeping together (as I thought it was more than that).

After, he went back to NY and he was still txting me for weeks and weeks... telling me he missed me etc even after a few months. He even offered me to stay at his for a week or so! But I couldnt make it!

I ended up in NY with a friend, i dont know why i didnt tell him but i didnt, and he found out! a few wks later he was furious that I didnt ask him to meet up! I appologised and we still carried on chatting. We would speak on skype, FB etc sometimes he would send me a pic etc

Messages started to die down etc. I stopped txting him for a year or so, as I met someone, and he would still txt me when he was here in UK but I just said I couldnt meet him.

Now, a few wks ago he was here, and I txt him asking if he was available to meet? He seemed quite excited that id asked him for a drink!
He was txting me non stop, asking me to see him and hang out! I couldnt go because I had other priorities. He asked me if I was still single etc,

I made it clear Im not a booty call as my friends thought i may have been seen that way! He said he didnt see me like that and that he wanted to see me to establish if we still had chemistry!

So i said id see him next time he was over! He tried to see me the day before he left but I was busy. And when I last tried to speak to him on FB the conversation was all one sided!

So i guess im asking what you think? am I a booty call? I thought as he asked me to go over there there was the prospect of something more?

please tell me what you think?

Thankyou

Jessica

[Sonrisa]

it actually seems as he was your booty call

[Wakeup]

I need some advice and light shed!

Im 27 and live in London, Ok so, Ive known this guy for 4 years, hes in his mid 30s, and live in New York. I met him over there 4 years ago. We would chat on the net quite often,sometimes for a few hours day after day! 6/7 months after we met he was here in UK with his friends on business , we met up one eve had drinks, met his friends, that was it. Then a few days later I met him again, we ended up sleeping together (as I thought it was more than that).

What made you believe that "it" was "more than that?" If you refused to see him again and even when he came back you didn't offer to meet him for a single drink while staying away from his hotel room or your bed and making it clear what you don't want to be in actions rather that words that contradict your actions.

By the way you've acted, he should be the one that's asking us if you made him a booty call. After all the games I'd imagine that most guys wouldn't consider you for much more than booty.

You met him once after being pen pals and you went to bed with him. That is what a booty call is if he doesn't live near you and has no intentions of moving to your country to be with you in a more committed union.

I think if you don't want to be someone's booty call that you don't act like you want to be someone's booty call.

[Sonrisa]

Amen wakeup

[jesslea]

can you please elaborate? i didnt think of it like that! I really like him!

[jesslea]

im not that kind of girl, when I slept with him i thought it was more than that, we spoke for a while after, sometimes chat would be sexual and sometimes not. He ssays im not a booty call, yet he keeps asking me to hang out when he's over? im scared of going to see him and hes expecting sex! im in a positiion where i could possibly move over there!

[Wakeup]

can you please elaborate? i didnt think of it like that! I really like him!

Read. it. slowly. Especially the last sentence.

[Sonrisa]

im not that kind of girl, when I slept with him i thought it was more than that, we spoke for a while after, sometimes chat would be sexual and sometimes not. He ssays im not a booty call, yet he keeps asking me to hang out when he's over? im scared of going to see him and hes expecting sex! im in a positiion where i could possibly move over there!

what do you have against sex with him?

[bulrush]

It seems you made several excuses not to see him, though he sounded interested in you. After so many negative responses from you, he will eventually go away.

Im 27 and live in London, Ok

Is this London, Ontario? London, Oklahoma? Maybe London, England? I'm not sure how much space separates you two since he is in New York.

If you two are so far apart, what made you think you two could actually have a relationship?

[Sonrisa]

says, London, Ok?

[jesslea]

London,UK.

sex with him was great! but id like it to be more than that.

I only didnt go as im scared he'd reject me if i said no to sex.

[Sonrisa]

London,UK.

sex with him was great! but id like it to be more than that.

I only didnt go as im scared he'd reject me if i said no to sex.

why else would you go there?

[jesslea]

incase it was more than sex!

1. am I just being stupid? should I just forget about him?
or
2. with all my stupidity have i completely reversed the situation?

[jesslea]

ive never ever slept with someone on a first date before, i was a silly nieve girl hoping that it wasnt like that! you make me sound like a slut, i dont sleep around, and infact i havent slept with anyone since him! if my friends hadnt put booty call in my head I would have met him for a drink and a drink only!

[Wakeup]

What are you talking about? For goodness sakes if he rejects you for not having sex then you KNOW FOR A FACT that all you are is a booty call and you'd not have to ask a forum full of people that don't know you or him if you're a booty call.

You're afraid he'll reject you so instead of finding out what you asked "am I a booty call" by meeting him for a drink and staying away from his bed, you'd rather reject him and then ask us if you are. If you want a happy relationship with a man then you'd best mature in your romantic actions or this may just keep happening to you.

Please find someone in your own country that lives close enough to you to nurture a relationship and don't **** them the first night you meet them. Have enough self-respect to not fear rejection so that you, yourself end up fking and chucking as a defense mechanism to your fragile ego.

How could it possibly be more than sex when you live across an ocean and there is no relationship formed? Right now it's a sexual relationship with email filler.

I'm sorry for the negative vibe here, but Why are you bothering at this point? He'll likely not do the work that it takes to nuture a long distance relationship after this. Do you actually expect him to remain monogamous (actully it would be celebate) while he waits for your next trip here or him there, whenever that may be?

ive never ever slept with someone on a first date before, i was a silly nieve girl hoping that it wasnt like that! you make me sound like a slut, i dont sleep around, and infact i havent slept with anyone since him! if my friends hadnt put booty call in my head I would have met him for a drink and a drink only!

Look, you're a grown girl and you've not disclosed enough info about yourself to ascertain if you're a "slut" (your word, not mine) or not but sleeping with a guy that lives thousands of miles from you when there is no relationship formed is more likely going to end up a fling than a full blown relationship. I don't judge you for your fun. In fact, you go sista...but you certainly can't expect your vagina to garner you a relationship so you have to either just do it and go with what it is or, refrain from doing it with men who have not yet shown you in actions that they like and respect you and want you in their life. (words mean squat if you have no proving actions to back them up)