just a one night stand or more?

[Rainbow85]

so a guy from work brought his two friends out on our staff night out. Both nice men: I was chatting to both but had more of an interest in one in particular because of his personality; it was like we had met before. During the end of the night I was completely drunk. I decided to lay down in a bar (as you do) and the one i liked covered me up. I felt a bit disappointed though because he appeared to be dancing with another colleagues; however there were times when she got him up to dance and he obliged. Anyway, he found the time to sit next to me and tell me that he would make sure I got home; I didn't think anything of it because he was flirting with another girl. When we decided to leave he told me that his opinion of me hadn't changed because i was drunk. Before we got in to the cab he kissed me and then continued to do so in the cab. WE both on opposite ends of the city so he was going out of his way to take me home which made me think what his intentions were. I invited him in and we kissed someone more. We ended up sleeping together and I though he would go straight home but he didnt; he turned over and went to sleep. I was shocked by this. In the morning when he woke he came into my room and cuddled to get warm and he asked questions about my ex etc. He ended up staying for breakfast and we chatted about relationships and quite deep stuff but when he left just kissed me on my cheek. I didn't even contemplate about getting his number because for some strange reason I thought I already had it because i was so comfortable around him. The guy in work who introduced me to him doesnt have a clue about what happened and just thinks the guy dropped me off. He even joked about me flirting with the other guy and ended up going home with another one; I wasn't though I was just being friendly.

A week has passed and I haven't heard a thing from him. I'm assuming it was just a one night stand and I do not expect to hear from him. The had been in a 4 year relationship and she left him for someone else.

I'm not expecting anything to happy at all. What do you think? One night stand or a hurt man not wanting to get hurt again.

[deathper]

Maybe one night stand...but why don't you get his number and try to contact him through your common friend? That maybe leads to something more...

[Rainbow85]

Maybe one night stand...but why don't you get his number and try to contact him through your common friend? That maybe leads to something more...

I was very confused by the mixed messages so used to facebook to contact him. I basically just said thank you for looking after me. I felt that this was a good breaking the ice. If he's interested he will make contact me; if he doesn't then he's not interested...either way I will know. I also thought that if he is interested but shy about getting in touch because apparently I was flirting with his friend and therefore was giving him mixed messages, it would be a good opportunity for him to contacting me. I told our mutual friend that i liked him and that's when he laughed and said 'well if you like him, why where you flirting with (name of other friend) then?

[deathper]

You did the right thing and you are right on all the above...I think that by the time you had sex with that guy, any flirting with his friend should not be considered...I wish you good luck with the man you're interested in!

[smackie9]

One night stand. Not all guys just jump right out of bed and say "wam bam thank you mam". He's a nice guy that enjoyed a nice evening with you. He just got out of a 4 year relationship.......

[bulrush]

He might think you hate him because he didn't have sex with you. He may be really embarassed. But he might want to move more slowly. I bet he thought about doing more than sleeping, but maybe he has a good reputation he didn't want to tarnish. If you think he's a nice guy, pursue him.

[Rainbow85]

He might think you hate him because he didn't have sex with you. He may be really embarassed. But he might want to move more slowly. I bet he thought about doing more than sleeping, but maybe he has a good reputation he didn't want to tarnish. If you think he's a nice guy, pursue him.

We did sleep together but for the first time in ages it wasn't just sex for me. We got on really well.

Developments: he added me on facebook either early hours Christmas morning (1am - 6am) or before 12 noon.

Since this new guy has added me on fb we have exchanged messages over the internet but there are still no kisses on messages etc. I'm absolutely fine with this because I feel that the day (if it comes) when he does put a kiss on a message it will be another step made. I believe him adding me was his way of saying I still want to talk to you; whether it being selfish reasons on his part or not it will be my choice whether to have him round etc. This won't be happening because that's not in my nature but I am very excited to see how and where this develops.

The messages became flirty but still nothing serious and i've even stopped messaging him back when I feel the reply will be pointless. Eg I wouldn't message him back if his last text was hahahaha or something. The first time I did this he replied with another question; the second time I did this he messaged me early hours after he had been out with a flirty message and the third time he didn't reply, I actually messaged him first and after my first reply he didn't get back to me. The night he had replied with a flirty message a picture was put up the next day of him and a girl; I didn't read too much into this because I thought he's at someone's house for a drink over Christmas and upon reflection he had messaged me during this time. Despite this I was a little nervous but got over it in time.

Confused more than ever - do you think I shouldn't do anything now and see what happens?...the ball is in his court, so to speak but after being single three and half years and dating quite a bit during that time, I can honestly say never felt like this about someone before. I'm keeping a clear head though because he's only been single a couple of months after 4 years; and I think he was deeply in love with her.

[Cerby]

Too much analysis.

It was a one night stand, if he wanted more he would have gotten your number or left his. He is being courteous, but I don't see this going any further.

[Rainbow85]

Too much analysis.

It was a one night stand, if he wanted more he would have gotten your number or left his. He is being courteous, but I don't see this going any further.

thanks for your opinion.

But, if that's the case and you have no intention in getting involved why go to the trouble to add me on fb and then message me early hours, even when there isn't anything to reply to?

[Wakeup]

thanks for your opinion.

But, if that's the case and you have no intention in getting involved why go to the trouble to add me on fb and then message me early hours, even when there isn't anything to reply to?

he likes to notch the bedpost so to speak. Keep you on his trophy site and keep a door open in case he's short on booty one time and he'll be able to contact you and you'll allow him through that door you keep open for him.

You told him straight up that you're good for at least one thing. He holds you on a shelf now for when he needs you. (?)

I suggest that if you like the looks of a guy and you'd like to be more than a one night stand, that if you're too indecisive about what you want and don't just deem HIM a one night stand, that you refrain from sleeping with a guy until he shows you in actions that he would like to get to know you OUTSIDE the bedroom before knowing you inside the bedroom. That way you'll not have to start threads asking strangers if your a one nighter or not.

I also thought that if he is interested but shy about getting in touch because apparently I was flirting with his friend and therefore was giving him mixed messages,

If you really think this, then didn't it cross your mind that he is a real skank if he would fk you when he thought his friend liked you?

I decided to lay down in a bar (as you do)

You do? WTH ! No, no "you" don't.

I didn't even contemplate about getting his number because for some strange reason I thought I already had it

That's okay, he didn't volunteer it to you anyway, nor did he ask for yours.

The guy in work who introduced me to him doesnt have a clue about what happened and just thinks the guy dropped me off. He even joked about me flirting with the other guy and ended up going home with another one; I wasn't though I was just being friendly.

Being "friendly" was not how you were perceived by those that were witnessing your action. Please keep that in mind and what the implications of what he said to you mean.