Likes me b'cause of my ethnicity

[JHW]

I have been dating this girl a few weeks now and it came to my attention that she only likes a certain type of guys- asian guys. Being who I am I had to ask her that if I hadn't been asian but still the same person and all if that would've changed her mind.

And it bothered me that she said no. That would blatantly mean that she doesn't like me because of me to put it simply but because of my looks. Now I don't know what I should make all of this and I hope that you could give me some input on what you would do if you found out something like this about your partner.

I feel like I just got 'lucky' that she chose me, it could have might as well been any other asian guy looking her way.

[pisces25]

]That would blatantly mean that she doesn't like me because of me to put it simply but because of my looks. Now I don't know what I should make all of this and I hope that you could give me some input on what you would do if you found out something like this about your partner.

She is attracted to you because of the way you look. Most people are attracted to people for that reason. It is called physical attraction. What if you were attrached to skinny girls and the girl you were with asked if you would still like her if she was fat and you said no? Same thing.

I don't think it's a big deal... people are attracted to what they are attracted to. I am sure it's just not your looks she is attracted to though, or she probably would just go out with any Asian that looked her way.

[searock]

You mean that she said yes, it would've changed her mind if you weren't asian? She said she wouldn't be dating you if you weren't asian? That's a pretty rude and insensitive thing to say. Did she elaborate?

[bcgirl]

Be lucky that she picked you because your asian. Where I come from asian guys get a very hard time getting dates from non-asian girls.

[bulrush]

Think of it this way: she likes you for being you. Try not to make it a negative.

[GaelBaila]

I used to have a guy friend whom I really liked, but he only dated Asian girls. He was a huge Asia-phile. I thought that was wrong at first, but then I stopped being a hypocrite and realized that everyone has their own physical tastes...I went through a phase where I would only date Arab guys not too long ago. Something about a few of them just made my heart race...maybe your girlfriend just feels that way about Asian guys.

The point here is that whether it's race, body shape/size, hair color, whatever...everyone has their favorites. Some people choose to stick with ONLY their favorites. Like in your girlfriend's case.

[JHW]

She is attracted to you because of the way you look. Most people are attracted to people for that reason. It is called physical attraction. What if you were attrached to skinny girls and the girl you were with asked if you would still like her if she was fat and you said no? Same thing.

I don't think it's a big deal... people are attracted to what they are attracted to. I am sure it's just not your looks she is attracted to though, or she probably would just go out with any Asian that looked her way.

I used to have a guy friend whom I really liked, but he only dated Asian girls. He was a huge Asia-phile. I thought that was wrong at first, but then I stopped being a hypocrite and realized that everyone has their own physical tastes...I went through a phase where I would only date Arab guys not too long ago. Something about a few of them just made my heart race...maybe your girlfriend just feels that way about Asian guys.

The point here is that whether it's race, body shape/size, hair color, whatever...everyone has their favorites. Some people choose to stick with ONLY their favorites. Like in your girlfriend's case.

Thanks for the replies. I agree somewhat with what you are saying. And I get it that she likes me for me and not solely because of my looks but I just think that the distribution between the two is wrong. She wouldn't like me if I weren't asian dispite that she likes my personality and to me that is kind of a red flag. To sum it up; my personality alone isn't good enough.

I believe that the personality in the end should triumph the physical. That's why I was shocked that she said that she wouldn't like me had I not been asian.

pisces25: to answer your reply about looks also being eg. fat- vs skinny girls. I don't really agree with you on that. I mean- if your fat you can always lose weight, if skinny- gain weight. Me being asian isn't something I can change and that to me is a big difference. Ultimately, you have the power to change, I don't.

[JHW]

You mean that she said yes, it would've changed her mind if you weren't asian? She said she wouldn't be dating you if you weren't asian? That's a pretty rude and insensitive thing to say. Did she elaborate?

No, she wouldn't date/like me if I weren't asian.

Unfortunately she didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. I could tell that she didn't feel comfortable me asking and it seemed like she didn't really know why anyways.

[JHW]

Be lucky that she picked you because your asian. Where I come from asian guys get a very hard time getting dates from non-asian girls.

I don't really understand what you are getting at. I should just ignore it and be happy because where you come from asian guys have problems getting non-asian girls? This is not my first time being with someone that is a non-asian, but they have always like me for who I am and not where I'm from. And that is what bothers me.

[JHW]

Think of it this way: she likes you for being you. Try not to make it a negative.

Thank you for your reply. You are probably right. I'm probably just overthinking this like I always do but I can't help it. It just bothers me that where I'm from matters.

[pisces25]

pisces25: to answer your reply about looks also being eg. fat- vs skinny girls. I don't really agree with you on that. I mean- if your fat you can always lose weight, if skinny- gain weight. Me being asian isn't something I can change and that to me is a big difference. Ultimately, you have the power to change, I don't.

Not really the point I was trying to make. Assuming you are more attracted to thinner gals than fat ones and assuming your current GF is slim, would you have dated her if you met her and she was fat? Or height for example. If you like girls much shorter than you, would you have agreed to a date or asked her on a date if she was towering over you? I am just pointing out everyone has their physical preferences, some peoples are more stringent than others.

[sadie_genie]

That is pretty racist, if you ask me. I would be bothered too.

[Love'sReject]

I have been dating this girl a few weeks now and it came to my attention that she only likes a certain type of guys- asian guys. Being who I am I had to ask her that if I hadn't been asian but still the same person and all if that would've changed her mind.

And it bothered me that she said no. That would blatantly mean that she doesn't like me because of me to put it simply but because of my looks. Now I don't know what I should make all of this and I hope that you could give me some input on what you would do if you found out something like this about your partner.

I feel like I just got 'lucky' that she chose me, it could have might as well been any other asian guy looking her way.

Use her in turn; sex for nothing but your looks, suh-weet! As a bonus, guilt would be totally unnecessary; nay, you'd be doing something beneficial for us guys!

[all alone]

Nothing wrong per se, just physical preferences in terms of attraction. Everyone has them, even if they don't admit it. I have a buddy who loves asian girls and is dating one at the moment.. we all say he has 'yellow fever', lol.

To the OP, dude there are tons of asian people who there, so even if shes into that 'type', doesn't mean you are just the first guy she saw, quite the contrary, she probably saw many before ending up with you. Just enjoy being with her and be happy bud and don't try and make a problem where there is none.

[HeartIsAching]

She is attracted to you because of the way you look. Most people are attracted to people for that reason. It is called physical attraction. What if you were attrached to skinny girls and the girl you were with asked if you would still like her if she was fat and you said no? Same thing.

I don't think it's a big deal... people are attracted to what they are attracted to. I am sure it's just not your looks she is attracted to though, or she probably would just go out with any Asian that looked her way.

Well, yes and no... My wife's pretty atypical of my usual type. I think she's beautiful, but even if she wasn't and I'd gotten to know her, I'd have loved her regardless.