Newly good but odd situation

[oldskool83]

Met sum1 things are fine, unexpected happened now sum1s grand father is in a hostpitle basicly dead and family has to decide what to do about thim. (he raised her) Now I'm not totaly sidelined, but I dont totaly know what to do in this situation either. Now add x-mas on top of this and yeah I'm pretty lost as far as what to really do. We talk everyday and have since metting I guess 3 weeks ago.

Just looking for ways to handle the situation with out pushing to much.

[Beckyboo]

Leave her too it. This stuff is rough on everyone. Call or text her, tell her that u will be there whenever she needs u. She will need someone outside of the family to talk to eventually. Its all up in the air at the moment, its worse because im guessing she consideres him to be like a father to her. I know its a pain, but unfortunately u will be pushed aside for a little while.

[GaelBaila]

Just offer your condolences for her grandfather if you haven't already, and allow them some grieving time. You can surely be around, just keep respectfully silent when they're grieving him. But don't just disappear...that looks much worse than trying to be there for her. Lasting relationships outlast hard times, including the death of you guys' parents. Do you want her to disappear when your parents die? Just make sure you stay with her and the family.

And also make sure you buy everyone a little christmas present and help make Christmas dinner and you'll be like part of the family.

[oldskool83]

i only started seeing her 3 weeks ago...

[alwaystryin]

There really isn't much you can do. Aside from offering your condolences and asking her if there's anything you can do, just keep doing what your doing. Since you've only been seeing her for three weeks I would imagine that's enough. It's good that you're not involved in the whole ordeal so that she gets a break from it when you guys do get together.

[bulrush]

It's too early for you to be involved with her at the funeral, or even go to Xmas at her family's house. Try to have your own Xmas at your house alone with her. Try to be understanding she might be the one having to make funeral arrangements and contacting other family for the funeral. And be there for her if she needs someone to listen.

[Lovable]

I agree with the rest. Just let her know you are there for her if/whenever she is ready to talk. Be quiet/supportive when she does talk to you & see where things go from there.

[oldskool83]

yeah its just mean situation to be in, trying to get to know sum1 then this happens. we talk for 3 hrs last night, she does not want to talk about it to me, which is fine if she dealin with it all day long. i just seem to have to be wisely about that i talk about right now, dont want to bring up somthing by accident...def gotta think before i speak. im not doing anything for or with her for x-mas, too early. id like to see her thats all once this settles down which i dont want to nag on that either right now.