Does he still love his ex?

[Wakeup]

I know my ex would have never been able to get in between us.. and that's because I have a much stronger character than this guy..

If your character was as strong as you think it is, you'd not be stalking his facebook, you'd have told him to stay out of your face and you'd have never made out with him in his car until he showed you in loving actions that he wanted you and not her. You don't take back someone who goes weeks without talking to you. They are telling you without using their words that they don't want to be in a relationship with you, but they will take what they can get if it's offered. Its that simple and any guy who's played the field will tell you that.

Show your self-worth and how much character you really do have and block and delete this man from your life for good. It does'nt matter if you think she's not as hawt as you are. Don't let your ego rule you by thinking you've won him somehow if he comes back for more make out sessions just to go back and make out with her as well. Just don't let him play you anymore.

[Cerby]

Why is this thread still going on? Its a simple rebound thing that the OP is reading too far into. Everyone is on the wrong end of a rebound sooner or later, but people with common sense are only one the wrong end of it once.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebound_(dating)[/url]

[Wakeup]

Why is this thread still going on? Its a simple rebound thing that the OP is reading too far into. Everyone is on the wrong end of a rebound sooner or later, but people with common sense are only one the wrong end of it once.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebound_(dating)[/url]

people with common sense are only one the wrong end of it once.

Have you read op's subsequent posts, Cerby? Why this thread is still going on is in them.

It's particularily still going because she thought the only post that told her what she wanted to hear was "good advice" when it is clearly not good advice for her particular situation of being in a a very new rebound relationship consisiting of emotional manipulation, disrespect and blatant red flag behaviour from this man. JMO

..and I'm not gonna change the way I am either...because there is NOTHING about this girl that makes me even remotely jealous.. I look at ther and I feel like the whole thing is a joke...

Okay then! /

[dior01]

Wow you guys are mean.. you don't need to continue responding...lol

I have responded to more than one post where I said the poster was right...not just the one where I said "good advice" but that one was the most in depth so I appreciated it.

I'm obviously on this site like everyone else.. trying to get some feedback..and sometimes one sentence is not enough for someone that is hurting...

but thanks for the input regardless... other people are welcome to offer their opinions as well

FYI I was not the first girl he dated since his break-up ...I thought that's what constitutes a rebound..nevertheless... I'm sure I was a rebound but it doesn't change the fact that it's hard to deal with/accept

[dior01]

And what makes you think I have ever been a rebound before? For you to say "people with common sense will only be on the other end of it once"

I've actually never been a rebound before..had I been thru this before, I probably wouldn't be on here trying to make sens of it..

[Cerby]

And what makes you think I have ever been a rebound before? For you to say "people with common sense will only be on the other end of it once"

I've actually never been a rebound before..had I been thru this before, I probably wouldn't be on here trying to make sens of it..

Exactly, its a lesson to be learned for you, now you can identify a rebound situation when you see it. This whole thing has sucked for you, but now you'll know it when you see it, and hopefully not let your lust over-ride your gut instincts.

The advice isn't bad, but I agree with wakeup, that long post that you thanked for being helpful was written by someone who clearly didn't read your entire original post. It wasn't good advice for your situation at all.

You need to distance yourself from the situation, not ever contact him again, and don't respond to him if he contacts you.

[Wakeup]

I'm sure I was a rebound but it doesn't change the fact that it's hard to deal with/accept

No one said it was going to be easy. Just that it will be a lot easier if you accept what this was, learn the lesson, block and delete his ass from being able to contact you and read the link that Cerby provided so you'll know not to get involved with someone who is still very much not over his last relationship. Or, is using your fine self for an emotional bandaid to get over someone. Give yourself some time to reflect on everything so you'll choose wisely from here on in.

Best wishes.

[Tanguerra]

Don't do anything at all. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't imagine disastrous scenarios. Don't underestimate him. Just stop!!! Try to calm down. I know it's not easy.

Just get on with your life. Yes, it's painful. Yes, you're upset. Yes, he's behaving like a total dope. But, you don't have to do anything to make this situation worse. Don't imagine all kinds of 'bad stuff' going on behind your back either. Just play it cool and stay calm. If he's worth the trouble he will be in touch before long with (hopefully) and explanation and a perhaps even a full apology for his behaviour.

Try to think about it from his point of view if you can. You say you'd been fighting a bit in the past few weeks. It's possible that he thinks you dumped him for instance, isn't it? Or maybe he thought you were just about to dump him if things hadn't been going so well lately? Remember what I said above about the pheromone hangover and cold feet etc? You were probably both feeling a bit uncertain about the 'whole thing' and this is what happens when everyone over reacts.

Didn't you say you 'texted all kinds of stuff' to him when he didn't turn up to your salsa show and you were drunk and upset? What did you say? Hmmm? You say you still feel upset about the way your former fiance behaved, well, why wouldn't he still feel upset? Why wouldn't he be afraid of getting hurt again? Man are not made of wood you know. There's always two sides to every story. I would be interested in at least hearing his before I gave up on him for good.

Remember he said how terribly upset he was when his 'other' girlfriend dumped him with a text message? Men have feelings too you know. They are just as easily hurt as women, they just don't talk about it. Could it be that this kind of stuff is what drove him straight back into the arms of his ex? Could it be his mother who invited her to the birthday party? He says his mother 'hates' her, but maybe his mother thought it would make him happy if they got back together (especially if she thinks you dumped him and he was very upset about it)? Is it possible his mother could put the feelings of her son ahead of her own?

Just give yourself a bit of time to cool off before you make any major decisions. If things were as great as you say they were at the start, there's a chance that this relationship might have a future. Don't do anything dumb. Just give him a bit of time to work out for himself what a great girl you are, and how much happier he is when he's with you. So, just keep being that 'great girl' in the meantime while you're waiting for him to wake up? Eh?

Take it easy.

[bcgirl]

^ I completely disagree with the above. Don't make yourself the loser and wait around for him to decide to start treating you better. I am a firm believer in looking at things positively, but you can't turn a blind eye to facts and being that naive...that is how people catch std's from their loved ones. Trust your intuition, it's almost always right. That unsettling feeling at the pit of your stomach that he is up to no good..... he most likely is. Yes, your driving insane by thinking about all sorts of scenarios....try not to. Just try your hardest to just let it go and move on in your life because you obviously deserve better. Everything is pointing and leading you to the obvious. The longer you wait around waiting by the phone for him to call after a week of not calling..... the more time you are giving him to brainstorm and come up with an elaborate excuse about why his phone is off....why his fb is deleted, etc. etc. etc.

I'm not saying your boyfriend is a bad person. He is human and is weak and vulnerable to emotions and easily can be swayed by love. He is confused at this point. He was with his ex girlfriend for a while....he obviously loved her or else he wouldn't have been hurt when she dumped him and he wouldn't have invested in such a long time with her. Then shortly after she dumped him, he met you. Things felt great with you two, but he probably never got closure from his previous relationship. She dumped him all of a sudden by text msg. Now she is playing with his emotions and telling him all the good things he wants to hear....he is torn because he had history with her, he loved her. In your situation....your ex cheated on you. That to most people is murder to a relationship. You got over him more quickly, well because psychologically...you have no choice. He is probably at a cross road right now, picking between a lot of invested history with his ex that he knows inside and out....and then you, his new girlfriend. 95% of the time people will go back to their spouses (even if they've been having problems) in hopes that this time it may be different and better, and they will leave the rebound.