Our story - does my ex bf want me or not?

[confusedlady85]

Summary of 2010 - our relationship
We are both in our late 20's. We met early 2010 and had a 10 months relationship. We both knew we would eventually break up, as my family would never accept him due to religious reasons and I did not want to hurt them. So our relationship was part-time and temporary. However we both ended up falling in love with each other, and the whole situation became very upsetting and frustrating for us both. So at the end of 2010, we mutually decided to break up and stay as friends.

Summary of 2011 - breakup aftermath
My ex bf went immediately into a rebound relationship with this younger girl. Whilst he was with this girl, he was txting me all the time saying how much he missed me. I then begged him to come back to me in late Feb, told him I would move away with him and leave my family behind (I was very weak and desperate at this point in time). He rejected me. I was heart broken and did not want him in my life anymore. So we cut contact completely, deleted him off facebook and deleted his mobile number. A week later his gf cheated on him and broke his heart (he calls this karma).

Summary of 2011 - new friendship
5 months went on - I moved on, was dating lots of guys, none of them turned into relationships though. I had finally gotten over the heartache too. I joined the gym, became more fitter. I found myself too, realised I no longer had faith in the religion I was born in and told my parents (which was a challenge!). I bumped into my ex oneday in July 2011. We instantly hit it off and became good friends. Txting/msning all the time, meeting on a fortnightly basis for catch ups. We were both dating other people, and there was sexual chemistry between us, but we never gave in! I admit it was hard at first hearing about all the girls he was kissing, but it eventually became a norm and I got used to it. I still really fancied him, but was never gonna tell him this as he rejected me back in Feb. So I waited in hope, that maybe oneday he may ask me out again. My ex is a sweetheart, very reserved and lacks self esteem (like me). Between Sept and Nov - he went quiet, we were less in contact, met up once a month only, but he always stayed in touch!

December 2011 - current situation
I have not had a bf since my ex. My ex has not had a gf since he broke up with that young girl earlier this year.
My situation has changed - I am moving permanently away from my family/parents in March 2012 (going to live with a friend). Since my ex found out about this he has been in touch with me everyday in December. We have been meeting up once a week. Very touchy feely, I can link his arm whilst we are walking outdoors, he lets me sit on his lap whilst we look at his computer screen, we flirt all the time, talk alittle dirty, he has been emotionally supportive when I had problems with my job, he gives me this look like he cares about me, he took me round the christmas markets, then on Thursday 22nd Dec, I dressed up sexily and we met up, gave each other a small gift and things started to heat up, and we had sex. After sex, he held my hand, kissed and cuddled, it was amazing! I thought I finally got him back, but no!

He said he likes me, he respects me, and that he hopes I dont think he used me. He said sorry for things getting weird and that it all happened fast, that it suprised him and confused him. He said he doesnt want anything to change, as the last few weeks have been great between us. He hopes we can go back to being friends and not letting this one off sex ruin things and make it awkward between us. (This speech broke my heart and now its xmas eve and I am feeling depressed, but I am carrying on with him like normal, like friends).


Please, please can someone on this forum tell me what is going on inside my ex's head. Do you think there is any chance in the future that we may become an item again? What should I do? Thank you.

[IndiReloaded]

You thought that having sex with him would snare him. Instead, he played you. He was horny and was looking for 'one for the road' before you left for good.

Basically you got burned for not knowing exactly what you were doing and why before you slept with him. If you wanted him back as a boyfriend, you should have made this clear before sleeping with him. I'm sorry for your broken heart but the signs were clearly there for you to read.

And no, you cannot be friends. You need to drop contact with this guy before he completely shreds you. Focus on your upcoming move and drop this guy. Don't get angry, just stop talking to him.

[bcgirl]

well have you two talked and discussed what you want for the future? Does he even want to have a girlfriend at the moment? Does he see a future with you again? Or does he strictly want to be friends? This can easily lead to being "friends with benefits" if you keep up with meeting up and releasing your sexual tension on each other....

[bulrush]

That sounds pretty low that he used your past relationship to get you back into bed. Sometimes hormones can make guys do bad things.

In the end, I don't know what he wants, but it sounds like he's not ready to have just you for a girlfriend. But he "says" he hasn't dated anyone else in a while. Maybe he is trying out very short relationships.

If you want to be FWB with him, I won't judge. But people sometimes get hurt in such situations, which is why it's not for everyone. Some people will falsely hope the FWB will turn into something more, and when it doesn't, they get hurt.