I guess Im not over her...

[BankyTheHack]

Ok many of you probably already know the story about me and the attractive, intelligent girl that suddently started talking to me and etc. (just read some of my previous posts)

Well after our last get together several weeks back I was over her, because at this get together she was clinging to another guy we both know, so I figured there was no chance. So after one crappy night and a day or so, I was over her completely, didnt even think about her and it stayed that way for weeks...until today.

I was at work when she came in, it was like in slow motion and I immediatly knew things were about to be flipped upside down once again, because I knew that my feelings for her still remain. Its weird because before I even knew she was there my heart began to beat quickly and my leg began to tremble.

She complemented my recently black-dyed hair saying "its ok I like black hair" and she also said that we should try and hang out some during the summer. So now I'm right back to where I was before, confused and infatuated.

I'm afraid that the more times I see her and the more time we spend together the more I will want the relationship to more than simply platonic, because she is the epidemy of everything I have ever looked for in another human being...

[Illusional]

instead of wondering about her, why not do something about it? that's the only way you'll know if something is there on her side. i would go for it because you'll never wonder again. raverboy

[BankyTheHack]

I don't know I'm just afraid that I could ruin the friendship, and I know I need this girl in my life...

[IceQueen]

I don't know I'm just afraid that I could ruin the friendship

See, about half the time this phrase is thrown around, there is really no substantial friendship. I'm pretty sure you don't sit on the phone with her for hours on rainy days. You are probably not close enough to her for your friendship to amount to something (i.e. to not be worth risking losing). I think what you meant is that you are afraid to be rejected, and afraid of the weirdness that might ensue.

But weirdness or no weirdness, here are your options. I evaluated their positivity or negativity with those bold numbers.

1) Ask her out, be rejected, weirdness. -1
2) Ask her out, she accepts, BINGO -- you are happy. 100
3) Not ask her out, and she doesn't want to go with you. 0
4) Not ask her out, she wants you to ask her out, flirts with you, you are oblivious. -5 (that's just stupid)
5) Not ask her out, and some other guy gets her. You are resentful and regretful. -10

Out of those, I'd definitely choose "ask her out," provided that I've done "preparatory work." You gotta find out if she likes you first. Does she treat you differently from other guys around her?

[shafkore]

Banks listen up cleary for a second. The first thing you need to tell yourself is that you are NOT over her. If you were, you would NOT have acted that way the first moment you saw her. There is no point in lying to yourself and attempting to convince yourself how you feel. In actuality you know you do have feelings for her -- let them be lust or love, or, infatuation. Certain types of infatuation are just 'one person loving the other' without the other reciprocating that love.

Anyways, I just wanted to clear that issue up first, because, once you realize and truly admit how you feel about this girl, the answer should come to you without any static. It will be picture-perfect. If you truly love her (or feel you do) and after all that time of not seeing her, you just fall right back into the same 'hole' you were in before, then there MUST be something special about that girl. I say, go for it man. Once she breaks your heart, then you can say, "I should never have." But until she does (maybe she never would), it could be the best time of your life. If you never try to see what happens between you two, you could (most indubitably I would think) regret it for the rest of your entire life. I say, "Why leave such a burden on yourself? Just do it."

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
- Gandhi.

About the other guy. Don't sweat it. Maybe she realized you are a way better guy then that jerk (hehe) could ever have been. Maybe you just got hurt by seeing her close to someone else, and blew it out of proportion? That could be why you 'beat' your feelings for her down, and tried to pretend they were gone.

I think the best thing to do would be to 'move in" and find out what happens. Once you get passed her 'wall,' you may discover many things about her. Insecurities, pleasures, dreams, wishes, etc. and it may explain how she acted earlier.

That's enough of my opinion.

[BankyTheHack]

This all started several months ago when she just came up an told me she liked a t-shirt i had but was not wearing. After that we started saying hi and smiling in the hallways occasionally it then grew into a daily occurance, so after few weeks in oblivion, I asked her out, she accepted and we had a great time, I was nervous at first but it faded immediatly and we became really comfortable talking to each other. We even talked about more personal things, our darker moments, trouble with siblings, life ambitions, personal and political views,etc. After that we immediatly resumed our routine, we began having frequent short conversations in the hallways, and texted each other many times during the school day(so much that her parents made her stop because it was running her cell phone bill up, ). I asked her out two more times when she was genuinly busy, but she seemed to express an interest. Then I asked her out another time but she was also busy that night, but invited me to watch movies at her house with her friends the night before that. That being the night where she was cuddling with that guy.

The very moment I saw her that day I KNEW that I wasnt really over her even though I was SURE that I was. Now that I think about it, theres no way someone could have gotten over somebody THAT quickly.

The fact that she would come to the store to see me and talk to me after not talking to her for a few weeks says to me that she values my companionship and is willing to go out of her way to secure it. That means alot to me...

[BankyTheHack]

by the way shafkore, I've been looking for a long time for the perfect quote to mirror myself, and I think you just found it for me man, thanx!