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Thread: He might have thought I was asleep and...?!

  1. #1
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    He might have thought I was asleep and...?!

    I'm a bit confused and don't know what to think of it actually. I was with my boyfriend and at one point of hanging out we had sex. We went for it twice and after the second time I didn't fall asleep but I was laying there with my eyes closed. I was conscious but sort of whipped out so I didn't move much or really respond to my boyfriend as he was saying things. My boyfriend held me close and I kind of jolted since I was sort of half asleep but still conscious and aware of what was going on. Then he started to move his hands on my body I moaned in response. He started touching me more and I still had my eyes closed and didn't move much. At one point he brushed my ear said he loved me and then moved my legs and started having sex with me again. I don't know if he thought I was asleep. But I found it suspicious that during sex he didn't interact with me and before he didn't find it odd I wasn't responding to what he was saying. He most likely thought I was asleep then. The session didn't last long. He didn't kiss or talk to me during sex or any sort of interaction. Then when he finished he just got up and went to the bathroom. Afterwards I was still tired and so I continued to lay there. He came back in the room and eventually I got up and he said to me "I have a question, how many times did we have sex?" and I said "what do you mean?" and he said "I'm just checking. how many times was it? cause I think for the 3rd time you might have been asleep." and I told him how I was awake during it but then I asked "well did you think I was asleep?" and he said he thought I was awake because of my moaning and slight movements. Either way I was awake during it all, but it made me nervous and feel odd and made me wonder if he actually thought I was asleep. It was odd to me since: 1- it was a pretty fast session and 2- there were no kisses or other interaction as usual when we have sex. I am confused of what to think he says he thought I was awake? But then afterwards how he just left the room and didn't interact with me at all during it? I know he loves me and he's sweet but I don't know what to think with this.

    help?

  2. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    Are you kidding? Stop looking for problems where there aren't any. Your BF had sex w/you 3 times in a night and said he loves you. Grow up drama queen, this is not a problem.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Relax im sure he is not a rapist!
    “So it's not gonna be easy, It's going to be really hard, we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.” <3

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    If you don't see a problem, why try and create one? "Sleepy sex" is what it's called and can be lots of fun for both people. It's just something different, and that's what makes it fun.

    Sounds like he cares about you. Just try to enjoy it.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    had sex w/you 3 times in a night and said he loves you
    Indi is just jealous. Wait. I am too (:

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    Damn, lucky if i can manage it 3 times a week! Lol
    "Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"

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    The truth is that men don't need you to be awake, or interested, or in the mood, or even attractive, in order to get their jollies. I'm confused as to what you are worried about here? That you didn't give him your full permission? You just had sex with him twice, so I don't think he was unreasonable to go for number three. Are you worried that he wasn't as intimate or lovey dovey? You were half asleep, when I was on the night shift my wife and I had sleepy sex all the time, she still enjoyed it, and I sure as hell did. Sometimes it felt like I was having sex with a dead person (creepy?), but that's what we had to do at the time and we were both ok with it. Are you offended that you weren't fully awake to seduce and woo him with your sexy and beautiful personality and yet he still wanted to have sex wit you? It's possible that you are completely naive about male sexuality. You could have been a cantaloupe with a hole poked in it for all he cared. I'm sorry if this offends you, but welcome to the real world. Sure he likes your personality, which is why you guys are together and trust each other enough to have sex. But he doesn't need your personality or your permission to get his jollies, so if you have a problem then tell him, but there's nothing abnormal going on here.

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    The truth is that men don't need you to be awake, or interested, or in the mood, or even attractive, in order to get their jollies.
    I'm a man. Please try not to over generalize. I prefer to have my mate awake and passionately involved, as I look into their eyes when we make love. But sometimes, sleepy sex is fun, as my gf clearly enjoys the surprise too.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    I'm guilty of pretty much the exact same thing. I had sex with my girlfriend somewhere in the middle of the night, we were both awake and passionately into it. I then just tossed my condom in the trash, we both fell sleep naked spooning. I was half asleep and so was she about 20 minutes later when I got another boner. I started fingering her, I heard moaning so I figured it was good. Went in all the way, she was responsive but barely and I was still half asleep aswell.

    "Sleepy sex" as there calling it above isn't such a bad thing. Feels good on both ends.

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    I think you have a small issue with this because you feel if you were actually asleep then the sex wasn't consensual and he took advantage of you....am I right?

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    The OP hasn't been back.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    The OP hasn't been back.
    i think she's asleep (:

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    It's Sunday, probably at church. :p

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    Here is a clip about this subject from dear Prudence. I'm a follower of her's, she has great advice....sometimes funny. [url]http://www.slate.com/articles/video/slate_v/2012/01/dear_prudence_deep_sleep_sex.html[/url]

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