Aspie relationship

[Hookahmike]

So both my girl friend and I are aspie im a bit worse than her but shes far less experianced then me both with her own emotions and relationships. Though I am aspie ive never been with one and by far I am the more normal of the two of us (because ive had to be in my life) so what are so tips from anyone whose been with an aspie? I only ask cause shes being off because of "a new emotion" the she "cant really pin down" which im assuming is about me cause it coinsides perfactly with us fooling around for the first time, she cant even say if its a good or bad feeling

[smackie9]

I say she should be consulting a therapist that specializes in this disorder.

[MaidenMinx]

So you are worse than her, but more normal? Does that mean you just assimilate into society better, but have more aspie traits?

Are either of you late dx aspies? From what I've read women can be harder to dx because of the fact that women have communication centres on both sides of their brains, guys just have one, so women can often hide some of their symptoms better. This is also why women often recover from strokes better than men, just for random info.

[bcgirl]

may i ask what "aspie" means? I've never heard that term before

[MaidenMinx]

Aspie is short for Aspergers

* oh and to clarify dx means diagnosis

[IndiReloaded]

Didn't we discuss this before? Do a search for the old thread and add to it.

[Hookahmike]

I was only diagnosed last year, yes I assimilated far better, im also more experianced with relationships, as such ive had to learn quite alot about myself and my emotions.

[MaidenMinx]

Interesting. So was she diagnosed young? Has she had a sheltered upbringing?
Also, if she had greater trouble assimilating, has she got regular access to a psychologist?

[Hookahmike]

Yes she was, No psychiatrist (i never did eather) yes she had a sheltered upbringing

[MaidenMinx]

Yes she was, No psychiatrist (i never did eather) yes she had a sheltered upbringing

Hun, there's a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist. The former diagnose and medicate, the latter help you recognise damaging thought patterns and change them.

By her being sheltered she is going to have a harder time processing things because she had never been forced to process on the fly. Is she prone to melt downs? Or does she just withdraw as she seems to be doing here?

[Hookahmike]

I know the differance I simply misread. From my limited experiance she just withdraws

[MaidenMinx]

I know the differance I simply misread. From my limited experiance she just withdraws

Then you have 2 choices. Pursue her into her withdrawal or wait it out. If you are going to pursue her you need to know what comforts her.

[IndiReloaded]

With an 'aspie' (or high-functioning autistic) one has to be much more explicit about emotions. Think Spock. As true aspies/HFA, neither of you pick up on emotional cues very well, in fact, overly emotional displays (of others) make one very uncomfortable.

I've found that a combination of waiting + pursuit at a later time (once the hormones subside) works.

[Hookahmike]

how would I persue her? How should I wait it out?

[IndiReloaded]

Wait until she is no longer upset and then ask her to talk about it. Minx is right about knowing her triggers and how to comfort her, tho, b/c aspies tend to get upset more readily than others. Are you up to this? Controlling your own upset?