F-buddies...

[Love'sReject]

Come on, now; how does something like that get complicated? I'm sure I easily could have one of those relationships without feelings coming into play.

[MaidenMinx]

Ha!

Well, I never could. I couldn't have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to and attraction + being friends + sex = potential relationship so (why don't phones have a therefore symbol) therefore emotions become involved.

Emotionless one night stands though, completely possible.

[Love'sReject]

Isn't the one night stand thing scarier, though?

[IndiReloaded]

Isn't the one night stand thing scarier, though?

Yes. But I don't know that FWB is much better. I'd rather abstain than use a friend for sex b/c I'd worry about feelings. I haven't spent too much time thinking of the whys, but I've observed there are some people who are emotional magnets. The ones that, once sex gets in the mix then messy feelings inevitably happen. Guys and gals both.

[Love'sReject]

How does one even get lucky enough to find an f-buddy?

It'd be flattering and curiosity-solving...But anyway, it's not using per se if both benefit and agree, I'm sure?

[MaidenMinx]

Actually, I had no problem with having one night stands. I had an itch, I wanted it scratched so I would find a penis. That's basically how I looked at it. It was the only time I was worried about using condoms too. That is just me though. I was considered a slut by some, I really didn't care. The only time it became a problem was when I chose badly and the guy would think it was an invitation to try and start a relationship. Or I would discover afterwards that the guy was actually worth looking twice at. In my early 20's I probably had a dozen or so one night stands. I don't know if mentioning they were often drug fueled makes me looks worse or not but well, they don't call it ecstasy for nothing.

FWB, I've had a couple of those and I can't help but get attached. One FWB absolutely blew my mind on a few occasions and then broke my heart. I couldn't understand how he could treat my body so absolutely amazingly well and have so little consideration for my mind. After him, I decided celibacy was a good way to go.

That last FWB started out as a potential one night stand. Personally I have never had a friend that I've said "hey let's get together and bump uglies every now and then?" to.

(well that's a lot of personal info just out there now... God I love anonymity)

[Love'sReject]

Another riveting post as usual, MaidenMinx. It was the second and third lines, second paragraph that really made me stop and rethink my initial post to this thread. That must be a hurt I can't even imagine.

[MaidenMinx]

That was the start of me being very cynical of the whole idea of guys and girl being able to be friends. Actually single guys and girls. I realised then that I could have pretty much any man I wanted... for a night. I still kept trying to be friends with guys (I've not met many girls that I can actually stand long enough to be friends with) and then lost half of them when I fell pregnant and the rest when I had my son. I went through a very cynical phase of believing that guys were only willing to be friends with a girl while they perceived they had a chance. It's actually been since joining this forum that I've realised how much the friend zone must suck for guys..

This forum has also made me realise that there are women out there with brains, I just need to find some in my area... :p

[malteser]

The only time I can say a **** buddy situation worked successfully for me was when I just considered the guy to be 'OK'. Physically he wasn't overly attractive but he wasn't bad looking. Personality wise he was good company but not someone I would ever want a relationship with, he totally wasn't 'my type'. This made it easier not to get attached. The sex was OK but not brilliant, I could take it or leave it. For those reasons it didn't ever get complicated. However, I once had a **** buddy who I was incredibly attracted to, personality wise I got on great with him and the sex was amazing. This got a little messy when he told me he never wanted anything more than just sex from me. So for me it depends on the situation, yes I believe it doesn't have to be complicated but I think mostly it is.

[HeartIsAching]

I had a few FB's over the years. One got attached and started stalking me. One got attached and skedaddled, and only one worked out. The last one and I are still friends (long distance now), and talk occasionally on the phone.

I think it's harder for women than men (though not always) to have unattached/meaningless sex.

[sadie_genie]

Only if he has a male model body. Other than that, not worth it.

[Benni]

I think it's harder for women than men (though not always) to have unattached/meaningless sex.

Yep. I tried it ONCE -- never again. I became emotionally attached and he was in it just for the sex. I finally broke it off and it took a couple months to get over it.