heartbroken

[applepie]

this is a sort of continuation of my previous post. He eventually replied to my email in which I told him that I knew there was something wrong when he threw me out of his place. His reply was that he used the opportunity to "stop/pause the relationship" and in another email referring to the fact that he threw me out of his place- "shouldn't you be running away from me?"

"Stop/pause" the relationship?? What does that mean?? Is it "i need some space to think" or he's just trying to leave the back door opened?

I replied a few days ago and told him that I don't run away from love and that he means a lot to me. I told him that I am aware of some issues in our relationship, I am concerned but they don't bother me.

It's been a few days he still hasn't replied yet. Probably doesn't know what to say. But I'm really upset. Maybe I showed him too much love and he is scared.

What do you guys think?

[shafkore]

I have one really GOOD tip. Get rid of the e-mail jargon. I believe that it should only be used as a LAST RESORT. If you want an immediate answer, talk to him in person. Show him you are taking the time out of your day to see him. Show him that he is more important then an e-mail.

Also, on the internet, e-mail or chat is VERY impersonal. More then half of communication between people is through body-language, so I truly believe you two should try and get rid of this relationship-through-the-internet-thing.

[Illusional]

it seems that he's brushing you off and doesn't want to deal with the problem, or doesn't really know what to do about it. any way, it doesn't seem that he wants to put in the same amount of effort that you're willing to push for this relationship to work. to be honest, i wouldnt' waste my time because life is to short to spend it trying for someone that doesn't want to return the same feelings. raverboy

[applepie]

i have to agree with both of you.

At first when we had the disagreement, he sent me a text message!! that was pretty impersonal. I want to talk to him face to face as well, but I was in the middle of exams etc etc more excuses anyway, why can't he make an effort to talk to me in person?! but yeah i agree, i should forget it.

[shafkore]

I would still try to clear things up though. Later on, down the road, you are gonna ask yourself, "what the hell happened there?" It is gonna put a weight on your shoulders. Resolve it now.

Plus, by resolving the issue, or by finding out what the problem was you LEARN something in the process. There is NOTHING more valuable then experience. Life is all about experiences.

[IceQueen]

DISCLAIMER: Ok, I read two of your most recent threads. I have formed an opinion. Of course I could be completely off. But I do have a powerful gut instinct which has never betrayed me yet.


IMHO at the point where you said that he only wants sex with you, the relationship had already gone sour, and sex *was* the only thing you had in common. So you actually picked up on that correctly.

By that time, he has been wanting to get out of that relationship for a while, so he kicked you out of his house using what you said as an excuse to end your relationship (which was obviously what he wanted: i am saying "obviously" because he actually told you that it was an excuse for ending it -- "his reply was that he used the opportunity to "stop/pause the relationship"").

In other words, he's been repeatedly trying to get rid of you in a variety of ways (subtle and not so subtle: kicking you out of the house, being less than responsive to your attempts to communicate with him), and you have been repeatedly throwing yourself at him (which was a mistake on your part, you gotta keep your self-respect, and NOT put up with less than stellar treatment from ANYONE, because, to put it simply, a guy who is WORTH it would never treat you like that in the first place.)

You don't really need *him* for closure anymore, you can obtain it by writing him a letter and never sending it (just getting your thoughts on the paper would suffice), and/or listing all the things about your relationship and about him personally which you did not particularly care for.

Oh, and stop contacting him for crying out loud! It's clear that you've become a nuisance to him, so what you're doing right now by desperately clinging to him is damaging your own sense of self-worth and either stroking his ego or annoying him.

[shafkore]

Originally posted by IceQueen
... either stroking his ego or annoying him.

Or both.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

What does IMHO stand for?

[IceQueen]

In My Humble Opinion.