How would tou react if she sent you a message like this one?

[Muse87]

Hi,

Just my curiosity, If your gf you love sent you the fallowing message by phone, how would you feel? Seriously?(we're in a long distance relationship but I'm moving to his town in a month for my studies):


"I'd like you to think over our relationship, what it brings to you AND me. You are the only one to know what I can expect from you, from this, I can't do anything anymore. Since the day we met.. I have always come to SEE you. I visited my friend there too just because I needed a place to sleep. Read again and think.
But If you have enough feelings for me to wish me happiness, then let me go.. :'( If you can't provide it for the moment... :'( I'm writing you this message reluctantly and with tears in my eyes.."

Thank you :-)

[smackie9]

Ya he is having some kind of a melt down....you better talk to him NOW.

[Wakeup]

Yea, I'd call him if I actually cared. if i didn't I'd just ignore his attempt at manipulation. Even if I cared, I'd call him out on his drama and ask that if he wants something in the future to just come out and ask for it and if he was to find that I'm not delivering then he should break up with me.

That text is pure and immature manipulation in any event.

[LdFilip]

have you never showed any effort in visiting her or so?and whats more important,when she came to your city,she didnt sleep at your place?she had to sleep at her friends places?...fatal mistake

[Bonfire]

If I'm in love with this girl, I would jump in my car and hit the road to see her. I would surprise her with a flower and apology that I made her felt unloved. Then from that day forward, always make time for her.

If I am not into her really, then I would simply let her go. Why waste her time, she could be with someone that appreciate her.

[Muse87]

Oops, I think I didn't make myself clear enough :-s I'm the girl and I'm the one who sent the message to my bf. So i was just wondering how he reacted when I sent it to him...

He never came to my town because He's a musician and doesn't have time. He told me he'd try but never came.
A month ago I sent another message telling him that I was hurt because I felt unloved and he only answered to my message 1 week later telling me he'd want to be there for me but the distance makes things harder but he wants to be there for me. He also told me that he couldn't do without me and doesn't know what to do anymore...and wanted to see me (so we saw each other the next week) and he told me he had my message on his mind the whole week it took for him to answer me. He saif he felt bad and didn't want to reply shit, which is why it took him an entire week to think about the answer.

Now, I sent him this message last sunday and still don't have a message. I know he's going to answer me but I'm still scared :'( because deep inside, though we both have feelings for each other, I feel like I have to break up so as to stop suffering from his lack of time but he always holds me back because he doesn't want me to go and is certain he could make himself more available....What am I supposed to do?

[Wakeup]

Oops, I think I didn't make myself clear enough :-s I'm the girl and I'm the one who sent the message to my bf. So i was just wondering how he reacted when I sent it to him...

He never came to my town because He's a musician and doesn't have time. He told me he'd try but never came.
A month ago I sent another message telling him that I was hurt because I felt unloved and he only answered to my message 1 week later telling me he'd want to be there for me but the distance makes things harder but he wants to be there for me. He also told me that he couldn't do without me and doesn't know what to do anymore...and wanted to see me (so we saw each other the next week) and he told me he had my message on his mind the whole week it took for him to answer me. He saif he felt bad and didn't want to reply shit, which is why it took him an entire week to think about the answer.

Now, I sent him this message last sunday and still don't have a message. I know he's going to answer me but I'm still scared :'( because deep inside, though we both have feelings for each other, I feel like I have to break up so as to stop suffering from his lack of time but he always holds me back because he doesn't want me to go and is certain he could make himself more available....What am I supposed to do?

Your gut is telling you something.

It's quite obvious that he just tells you what you want to hear to keep a steady piece of young thang when it suits him. It shouldn't take anyone a week to respond to a text... no matter how busy he may be and if he actually cared if he lost you, he'd not have waited that long to respond to your manipulative text. Next time if you want something ask for it out-right and if he doesn't give it to you then leave him because he doesn't value you the way you value him. That is particularily true for something as easy as coming your way once in a while. Men who value you, MAKE time for you.

I'm sorry but you've been listening to this guys bs for too long. I suspect you're not the only girl he is stringing along and that's why he doesn't MAKE time for you but just gives it to you when he's free and has nothing else going on. You've been posting and complaining about him long enough, don't you agree?

[searock]

Jeeeeeez. Make up your mind about what YOU want. Are you OK with this type of relationship or not?? It appears like you are, you're still with him after two months of this situation maybe more, am I right?! So if you are OK with it just stop whining about it. If you are NOT OK with it, then tell him clearly and if he doesn't change, break up with him! You have already told him many times that this situation is making you feel miserable and nothing has changed yet, so just break up with him and move on. The sooner the better!

You are moving to his town in a month's time anyway so if there REALLY is "true love" or whatever, it will certainly survive one month apart! Just please, stop asking strangers on a forum what he thinks and what he feels and if he really loves you because honestly, WE DON'T KNOW. We can't know.

I have given you this advice on every thread of yours on this subject or something.

[Muse87]

He doesn't give time for me when he's free, he has already cancelled evenings with friends and music rehearsal to see me because I was in his town. How would you explain that?
Yes it's true i have been posting for a long time, but that's because I naturally ask myself many questions, even when things are going great...
Also, he didn't tell me it took a week to answer me because he was busy, he said it took him so long because he had to think, he didn't want to spontaneously answer something he'd regret later, so he prefered to think and answer me later.

[Muse87]

Jeeeeeez. Make up your mind about what YOU want. Are you OK with this type of relationship or not?? It appears like you are, you're still with him after two months of this situation maybe more, am I right?! So if you are OK with it just stop whining about it. If you are NOT OK with it, then tell him clearly and if he doesn't change, break up with him! You have already told him many times that this situation is making you feel miserable and nothing has changed yet, so just break up with him and move on. The sooner the better!

You are moving to his town in a month's time anyway so if there REALLY is "true love" or whatever, it will certainly survive one month apart! Just please, stop asking strangers on a forum what he thinks and what he feels and if he really loves you because honestly, WE DON'T KNOW. We can't know.

I have given you this advice on every thread of yours on this subject or something.

I have told him I was feeling bad and already told him a month ago that I'd want him back ONLY if he could be there for me. In the other case, if he wasn't able to be there for me, then I'd break up. I was very clear in my message.
The problem is that the way he texted me, his answer held me back. He clearly said that he wanted to be there for me but can't, distance makes things harder and is sorry not of being capable of committing in this relationshio as much as I would. Then he eneded it by saying he can't do without me and these words held me back. Do you understand? I was ready to break up because I could deal with this situation and manage this relationship only on my own but his answer didn't confirm me in my decision...I though "It's stupid to break up whereas we both want this relationship to keep going and both have feelings too".

...
"it will certainly survive one month apart!" I didn't understand this sentence, what do you mean?

[Wakeup]

You need to pay attention to his actions a lot more and pay attention to his words a lot less. I wonder what his excuses will be once you move to his town?

[Muse87]

I agree with you Wakeup, I know I have to pay a lot more attention to his actions than to his words, but then what you mean here is that if he was truely in love he would have immediately called me after I texted him instead of waiting a week to think and answer me?
Onced I'll move to his town I don't think he'ss have excuses...at least I hope but i don't know if I have to break up now or wait a month and see how the relationship will change...?

[Muse87]

I'm thinking of sending him a new message telling him I want to break up and don't want him to hold me back this time so that It won't confuse me. And if we're meant to be together, in a month or later, than it will happen...what do you think?

[searock]

You keep asking us whether we think what he did "means" that he is in love. We can't know that! There is no definitive answer, it's not that simple. It doesn't work like that. What matters is what YOU feel and what YOU want. Do you feel loved? Do you feel cared for and happy? Do you want to keep this relationship going exactly the way it is? If the answer to those questions is yes, then you have no reason to be posting here. But that's obviously not the case.

Here's what keeps happening with you and this guy. You tell him that you are unhappy with your relationship and that, even though you know that he cares for you, you still want things to change, or else you'll break up with him. He tells you he's really sorry but there is no way things are going to change. Yet you don't break up with him! Why do you keep doing this if it is clearly not making you happy?!

What I meant with the month apart thing is that if it really is, as you say, true love, then even if you break up now (or two months ago for that matter), you will find yourselves again when you actually move to the town he lives in. So in any case the best thing you can do right now is to break up and start moving on.

[searock]

I'm thinking of sending him a new message telling him I want to break up and don't want him to hold me back this time so that It won't confuse me. And if we're meant to be together, in a month or later, than it will happen...what do you think?

I only read this now. I agree. But make sure to do what you tell him you will, or else nothing will change, again.