How would tou react if she sent you a message like this one?

[LdFilip]

i was in pretty same situation...long distance relationship,everything was fine,but suddenly,she didnt wrote back...she was online everyday,but she didnt wrote back.It started a month before christmas,i could do whatever i wanted (i mean show any effort),but everything were useless.And on the new year,she wrote me an sms "wish you a happy new year,from me and xxxx".Yes,it was her new bf.Im not telling that long-dist. relationships wont last cos the worst thing was,that she was from another country,and her new bf is from the same country as i am.She sent me an sms from a city,that is only a half of hour away from me.

What i wanted to say is...that not writing back is the beginning of the end.And sadly,its impossible to reverse.Doesnt matter what is he saying,eventualy,he will stop even with that.And the only thing you can do is,to get over it and move on.

[Muse87]

No, I don't feel cared for and happy, I spend most of my time crying, and I don't feel loves but I love him and that whats holds me back.

Here's what keeps happening with you and this guy. You tell him that you are unhappy with your relationship and that, even though you know that he cares for you, you still want things to change, or else you'll break up with him. He tells you he's really sorry but there is no way things are going to change. Yet you don't break up with him! Why do you keep doing this if it is clearly not making you happy?!

I didn't break up with him because he always came back and didn't want me to go, so I was confused but I think you're right, whatever he'll say this time, if he'll ever answer my mail, I'll break up and try to move on and like you said, if there really is true love, then he'll come back...

[searock]

Muse87, I agree. Also, I suggest you get counseling. Spending most of your time crying is not normal, and it sounds like you are quite obsessed with this relationship. Therapy could really do you heaps of good. Good luck!

[Muse87]

:-) thank you very much for your help Searock...I'll see what I can do, I have already been given a sick leave by my doctor a few months ago because of my bf...he doesn't know it but i was feeling too bad. I'm preparing the mail but I won't write too long, and make myself clear.
Yes you're right, I'm obsessed with this relationship, I love him too much but It destroys me at the same time :'(
See you :-)

[IndiReloaded]

"I'd like you to think over our relationship, what it brings to you AND me. You are the only one to know what I can expect from you, from this, I can't do anything anymore. Since the day we met.. I have always come to SEE you. I visited my friend there too just because I needed a place to sleep. Read again and think.
But If you have enough feelings for me to wish me happiness, then let me go.. :'( If you can't provide it for the moment... :'( I'm writing you this message reluctantly and with tears in my eyes.."

She's a drama-queen who doesn't have the courage (or brains) to know what she wants and ask for it. This is a thinly-veiled attempt to get the guy to make a decision on the relationship. Ask for what you want, child.

[LdFilip]

She's a drama-queen who doesn't have the courage (or brains) to know what she wants and ask for it. This is a thinly-veiled attempt to get the guy to make a decision on the relationship. Ask for what you want, child.

not at all...everything came up from him...from not responding and from not showing any effort...but such things can know ppl wha have been in this kind of relationship and had these problems

[vashti]

don't bother sending another text message. His lack of response to the first one makes it obvious he doesn't care, and you are only giving yourself a reason to be embarrassed later on. remember - there are two things you never should chase: a man, and a bus. there is always another one coming.

[bulrush]

there are two things you never should chase: a mediocre man, and a bus. there is always another one coming.

There, I fixed it.

And for Muse87, I have this advice: you will always be unhappy waiting for someone else to do the work. So break up with him if it's that bad.

[Wakeup]

:-) thank you very much for your help Searock...I'll see what I can do, I have already been given a sick leave by my doctor a few months ago because of my bf...he doesn't know it but i was feeling too bad. I'm preparing the mail but I won't write too long, and make myself clear.
Yes you're right, I'm obsessed with this relationship, I love him too much but It destroys me at the same time :'(
See you :-)

You stress and cry and need to take a leave from work. An equally reciprocal and true loving relationship does not make you feel like that.. it's mostly happy and stress free when your love is being returned equally. Ask the man for what you want and quit being a timid little damsel in distress. If he can't give you what you want then get the hell away from him because he's stealing your joy and motivation.

What loving actions does he do that shows you that he loves you. Share with us what makes you love him. Sex doesn't not count as a loving action if that is all he is giving you.

Your letter is just another futile attempt at manipulating (as your text was) him into giving you what you want. Stop that crap and get to the chase so you can leave him when yet again he disappoints and ignores you. Realize that he has you hooked and waiting for him to validate you by gracing you with a sexual hookup. Get your validation from within by taking back your personal power and leaving if he won't give you what you want after YOU ASK OUTRIGHT for what will make you happy.

[IndiReloaded]

not at all...everything came up from him...from not responding and from not showing any effort...but such things can know ppl wha have been in this kind of relationship and had these problems

I think you need to reread the thread. The OP has confused some people. She is the GF and she sent this msg to her BF. She (the OP) is asking what the recipient (i.e. her BF) would think. I think she sounds like a drama queen, as I posted. You are entitled to your opinion, Ld (as I am) but everything came from HER (not him), hence my post. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, but I don't think so.

Oops, I think I didn't make myself clear enough :-s I'm the girl and I'm the one who sent the message to my bf.

[IndiReloaded]

And for Muse87, I have this advice: you will always be unhappy waiting for someone else to do the work. So break up with him if it's that bad.

Good advice. Which still goes back to asking for what you want, Muse. If you ask, and he is unwilling, then your path is clear.

[LdFilip]

I think you need to reread the thread. The OP has confused some people. She is the GF and she sent this msg to her BF. She (the OP) is asking what the recipient (i.e. her BF) would think. I think she sounds like a drama queen, as I posted. You are entitled to your opinion, Ld (as I am) but everything came from HER (not him), hence my post. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, but I don't think so.

i know...i was pointing on him,cos when somebody stop writing back like he did,its the worst that might happen in this type of relationships...and when this happen,its really hard for the partner to stay calm and she has full right to have doubts and be worried...shes no drama queen,shes just realised whats going on...sadly

and as reaction to such message i wrote somewhere in the beginning of this thread,just reversed...

[searock]

The OP said that she will break up with him now... let's wait and see if she actually does before bashing her even more : ). What's done is done, let's just hope she learns from her mistakes.

[Muse87]

I didn't have the courage to break up with him so I just sent him messages telling him that I was suffering from his silence...and told him that he didn't have to think wether I could have hope for our relationship or not, that he must know his feelings and that if he doesn't have any, then It wouldn't need any reflexion to dump me. (because he told me in a previous message that he needs time to answer me and would do It when He'd get his head round this..)
So after I insisted for a message, he replied by saying: It's more complicated. My answer won't hold in a phone text. Till then, yes, we are no longer together.

How to construe "Till then"? If it's complicated, It involves feelings, right?

[Wakeup]

I didn't have the courage to break up with him so I just sent him messages telling him that I was suffering from his silence...and told him that he didn't have to think wether I could have hope for our relationship or not, that he must know his feelings and that if he doesn't have any, then It wouldn't need any reflexion to dump me. (because he told me in a previous message that he needs time to answer me and would do It when He'd get his head round this..)
So after I insisted for a message, he replied by saying: It's more complicated. My answer won't hold in a phone text. Till then, yes, we are no longer together.

How to construe "Till then"? If it's complicated, It involves feelings, right?

FFS. When are you going to take the hint that this man is only using you for when it suits him? He's just told you to consider yourselves broken up until he feels like dragging you back off the shelf, dusting you off and ****ing you again. This has been no more than a sexual relationship for him and it's high time you were told the truth without the bs filler that he puts into his messages to keep you trapped like you are.

I'm sorry to have to ask: Where is your self respect, your pride, your self worth? Take back your personal power and tell him that there is no 'till then" and to never contact you again. You are embarassing in your false hope and pretend naivety. Stop!