Is being physically attracted to someone important?

[Davros]

I'm pretty much torn here.

I was with my ex for 3 years and when we moved in together it wa the wrong time really - we were both struggling with money and it sort of went sour - arguments frustrations etc. We eventually cut our losses and moved out for the sake of not killing each other.
Since then it's been okay again.
My ex is a really really funny guy. He makes me laugh like noone has ever made me laugh. He plays with me and treats me like a kid sometimes but I'm a good way. He's incredibly moody though but a good oppopposite to me in that it never really got boring.
A major factor however, is I don't think I'm physically attracted to him anymore. Like I love hanging out with him so much - but I know as friends we wouldn't even do that in the same way. Wed have to stay away from each other and I miss him so much when I do.

Since splitting up with my ex about 6 months ago I met a new guy. He is not like my ex in the slightest in looks personality, anything. I really do find him attractive and he's very doting and he is one of them guys your mum adores. He constantly goes out of his way to make me happy in the same way my ex does but without the clashing. He's also very understanding.
The only problem with this guy is the fact that he doesn't make me laugh really, he doesn't play, I feel like he very much relies on me to decide what to do and how to make it fun whereas with my ex it was 50/50. I have so much fun with my ex, not that it's not good with this new guy just, he's so self conscious it's sometimes awkward

My question is a I guess. Are looks important I'm a relationship? When I was with my ex I though about sex with other people when our sex life was going down the pan. I'm scared of we got back together it would be the same deal. I know ideally it should be abit of both but sometimes that's too hard to find.

[steviej]

Depends if you want to settle for something you're not happy with. Personally, i'd keep looking & dating until you find someone who both turns you on and makes you laugh.

[smackie9]

Just because a guy is just ok and is a gentleman, isn't enough. Yes you need to be physically attracted, but you also need "chemistry" and have a lot in common. So far you are not being swept off your feet. Keep looking.

[Bonfire]

Looks is somewhat important (although we all see beauty differently), but the right personality can make someone more attractive.

[bcgirl]

Ofcourse you ultimately want to be attracted to your partner as well as have things in common and CHEMISTRY. I would say....keep on lookin, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't just settle. Your ex was your ex for a reason. You two broke up for a reason. Things are just going to be the same as when you were with him....except this time you know that you can do better in the looks department and that will be lingering in the back of your head.

[uri]

Yes contrary to what a lot of people say, I think it's very important. I think that we are naturally attracted to what our eyes can see.

There is also a neuropsychological and evolutionary explanation for this and anyone who studied a bit of psychology and evolutionary biology knows what I am talking about.

[HeartIsAching]

You're not being fair to either one of them, nor to yourself. Keep looking.

[nathan85]

While looks aren't 100% the reason you like someone I feel you do have to be attracted to them otherwise whats the difference between them and any other friend you have? There has to be some spark of attraction imo.

[BoredGeorge]

Just because a guy is just ok and is a gentleman, isn't enough. Yes you need to be physically attracted, but you also need "chemistry" and have a lot in common. So far you are not being swept off your feet. Keep looking.

Depends if you want to have a good life or not. Personally I think people are generally happier with sensible, well balanced options.

Generally women chose the douchbag that makes them laugh, unfortunately that is a bad decision.

[smackie9]

Sensible gets stale. They find themselves longing for their co-worker or the plumber that comes to repair the kitchen sink.

[uri]

While looks aren't 100% the reason you like someone I feel you do have to be attracted to them otherwise whats the difference between them and any other friend you have?

Most women I know do not have interesting enough personalities that I couldn't get from a male friend.

[smackie9]

I hear ya.... I'm a tomboy and find most women boring that's why I have mostly male friends. I only know one female at work that I can talk to about cars lol.

[oneandonly]

I hear ya.... I'm a tomboy and find most women boring that's why I have mostly male friends. I only know one female at work that I can talk to about cars lol.

hmmm...... so if girls don't have any interest in cars, they are automatically labelled as boring?!?!

OP - I don't know how you got with your ex in the first place if you didn't find him attractive. Or is that the case that the attraction faded over time? Whatever it is, I don't think any of them is the right match for you. Another vote to 'keep looking'!

[smackie9]

No, that is just one of my interests. I like talking about hockey, beer and other alcoholic beverages, guns, knives, fishing, camping, music, porn. I find girls too up tight. Guys are more relaxed and fun. Who wants to talks about babies, jewelry and crap like that....not me!

[pisces25]

Yes being physically attracted is important. My ex wasn't overly physically attracted to me and it felt horrible plus our sex life suffered. Don't settle. There is someone you will connect with on all levels. Just gotta be patient. Tis better to be alone than with the wrong person.