I am absolutely confused about what she wants. Please help.

[Vizjerie]

Okay so, met her over a year ago, and she was... well ill skip all the descriptions as everyone whos ever been in love will use these same phrases, point is i fell in love so fast it was absurd.

about a few months into spending a lot of time with her, going out, hanging out and so on, i finally worked up the guts to admit how i feel about her and asked her out.
well, she said no, and i got friendzoned.

but, the friendzone part some how flourished further instead of just staying stuck at the spot of "the guy that likes me but i wont date". we some how developed into best friends, and i mean that very very seriously and literally. i became, her very best friend and vice verca. how ever, on my part i am also still deeply in love with her.

a year goes by, and i asked her out again, thinking maybe things will change now as things in life came and went and now we know each other so well.
again, rejected.
yet still, we became even closer than ever, to the point where she would call/text and see me every day, even sending me messages that i can only imagine couples say to each other.
things like "i love you" at random or "i cant imagine a single day without you" and so on...

so, an other few months went by, and i asked her out yet again. this time, more serious and telling her i truely love her.
and again, rejected.
and by this point, she is now actively seeking someone, and has told me so. but heres the odd part, she told me that whom ever the guy may be, if he cant pass my gate, she wont date him.
her words, said about 10 minutes after she rejected me the third time.

so okay, well as her best friend, and more importantly as someone who really do care about her and love her, i said yes i will. followed by, well what kind of guy are you thinking of?

she goes "kind of like you".

so yeah, im royally confused.


ps. she is also for some reason really wanting to hook me up with some one. even though she knows that i have no interest in "hook ups" or just any dates of any kind. i only am interested in a relationship, and at this time, only with her.

soo... yeah. any insights would be wonderful. cause honestly, i want to give her a ring. if you know what i mean.

[madotnw_nihs]

I think rejecting you 3 times is enough. If you can't handle just being her best friend, then you should break it off.

[searock]

She isn't sexually attracted to you, even though she likes you a lot as a person and friend. This will not change. She wouldn't mention hooking you up with someone if she was even in the least interested. If staying close to her as a friend makes you feel miserable and unable to move on from the feelings you have for her, I suggest you cut contacts with her at least until you get over her. Or you can choose to keep suffering in silence instead. Your choice : ).

[smackie9]

"I want to give her a ring"......wow you are an idiot. Dude she said NO! 3 times.....let it go. I'll explain this for you. Girls can be very emotionally attached to you without being sexually attracted. That's how the female brains work. For guys it's obvious, emotional goes with sexual....it's all or nothing. She is at fault as much as you are. You both should have called it quits a year ago. She used you emotionally till she locates a guy she is sexually interested in. You were kind of a BF without benefits. And for you, no means no, not maybe or could happen down the road....no is always the final answer. You should have walked away. You both are going to have to understand your relationship with each other is unhealthy. She needs to stop using you as a security blanket, and you need to get you head out of your ass and move on.

[Boisdevie]

She is not sexually attracted to you.
She loves the attention.
She is ****ing with your brain.

Can you really call such a person a 'friend'?

And you are living in la la land. Away with the fairies.

[andstuff]

She is not sexually attracted to you.
She loves the attention.
She is ****ing with your brain.

Can you really call such a person a 'friend'?

yes if she has been supportive and sympathetic, there's nothing wrong with it, we all need human kindness in our lives, best if it comes from friends.

if she's not sexually attracted thats that, i totally agree. it was OPs choice whether to stay on her terms or to go.

if men are allowed to get laid with women they believe to be sexually attractive, whats wrong with women doing likewise? its an organic thing, cannot be changed. and very specific requirements they are too, barely anything to do with looks.

you are clearly the convincer in this situation and if you enjoy not having the upper hand it's up to you. you have been kind to her and have been giving her emotional comfort, and she's grateful for it and values it i'm sure, most people do. she cannot give you more, you should respect human freedom. i have been friends with guys who seemed initially into me, but i really value them a lot, they were picking me up from pavements when i was heartbroken about my lover and taking me home without taking advantage, and they are amazing i would do anything for them except get laid.

she just assumed you were okay with the situation because if you were not you wouldn't be in it. as for "i love you" girls say this to girl friends all the time, so its along those lines. i say this a lot when someone does me a favour. the only thing i'm less sure about is too much texting, should be facebook convos 2-3 times a week, but its not a sign of anything either.

[smackie9]

No she shouldn't have taken advantage of him this long. Maybe after saying no the first time one can assume it's ok, but not after the second time. By then she should have realized that it can no longer go on like this. She should have distanced herself so he could move on. I've been in her position before. The min a guy professes his love for me and I don't want to reciprocate, the friendship is over. I know it's not fair to them if we stay friends....keeping them friends, keeps the hope alive and that's not healthy. IMO she is selfish. If she cared she would have let him go.