what makes a girl desirable in the eyes of men in their 20s?

[Bonfire]

35 year old scouting young girls are usually desperate and have no shame so they scout out young girls thinking they are easy prey.

That's a big generalization. How about young girls who fancy older men? In Europe, it's pretty common for girls in their 20's to desire men in their 30's as older men are more established in career and have more life experience to make them far more interesting than their younger counterparts. Girls tend to mature faster than boys, so it's totally understanding that they prefer older men who they feel has the maturity they desire. However, I do agree with you that men who specifically targeting young girls (esp teenage girls) has questionable intent. But if you come across a couple where the man is older than his wife, don't assume the man was desperate or has no shame or that he must of initiated. They could very well be a happy and loving couple who saw in each other the qualities they desire in a mate. And as they grow old together, that decade of age difference will be insignificant. I think women in their twenties should be given the benefit of the doubt they could think for themselves. Teenage girls however should be protected.

[Bonfire]

Do you not think the way a female dresses plays a role in the types of interactions she has with men? Of course it does...

So if a perverted man saw a pretty young lady, what she is wearing will deter him from hitting on her? If you think a man would care as much about what a girl wears whether he will hit on her or not, then you don't understand the mentality of men. Considering the vast array of women's clothing, there isn't much an attractive girl can wear that will make a bit of difference unless she goes extreme, dress goth or a burka. Anything in the normal spectrum of female fashion, won't matter much. That's why when a women ask us men whether this dress or this pant makes them look nice or fat, we men really don't care. We only complement you on it to make you happy. It's the person wearing the clothing that ultimately decides whether they look good or not, the clothing plays a lesser part.

[vashti]

So if a perverted man saw a pretty young lady, what she is wearing will deter him from hitting on her?

I think the way a girl dresses can certainly fuel his perversion, making it more likely he will approach.

[CAM]

Nurses have compressed work schedules - three 12.5 hour days, not that it matters since I am currently at home with a broken foot and ankle.

And I am growing bored of your defensiveness, which still does nothing to minimize my perspective, but I find it amusing you care so much about what I say that you choose to continue arguing with me, despite more inflammatory opinions being posted on this thread.

Vashti,

Of course I care. I wouldn't be on this site if I didn't care about people. I also find that other people actually care about me, too. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't care.

It is you who are being pig-headed. Did you read anything in my responses? Not really. Sorry to hear about your foot and ankle. I'm not a physician, but it might help if you pulled your head out of your ass.

Sincerely,

Cameron C.

[vashti]

...and I do especially care about what you have to say because you are an adult who should be capable of rising above pettiness, but instead you wish only to communicate in the language of invective. Grow up. If you are this close-minded in your line of work, I pity those who are vulnerable and in your hands.

haha!

and I wish your girlfriend good luck (assuming she really exists). She's gonna need it. lol

[CAM]

That's a big generalization. How about young girls who fancy older men? In Europe, it's pretty common for girls in their 20's to desire men in their 30's as older men are more established in career and have more life experience to make them far more interesting than their younger counterparts. Girls tend to mature faster than boys, so it's totally understanding that they prefer older men who they feel has the maturity they desire. However, I do agree with you that men who specifically targeting young girls (esp teenage girls) has questionable intent. But if you come across a couple where the man is older than his wife, don't assume the man was desperate or has no shame or that he must of initiated. They could very well be a happy and loving couple who saw in each other the qualities they desire in a mate. And as they grow old together, that decade of age difference will be insignificant. I think women in their twenties should be given the benefit of the doubt they could think for themselves. Teenage girls however should be protected.

Good points up front, but after that....why are we moving into the discussion of sexual predators? I don't think that was OP's purpose.

[CAM]

haha!

and I wish your girlfriend good luck (assuming she really exists). She's gonna need it. lol

Your response makes my point.

[Bonfire]

Good points up front, but after that....why are we moving into the discussion of sexual predators? I don't think that was OP's purpose.

I agree, we shouldn't go in that direction. Just addressing a potential concern some may have.

[vashti]

Considering the vast array of women's clothing, there isn't much an attractive girl can wear that will make a bit of difference unless she goes extreme, dress goth or a burka.

I see your point, and it is true that men will always act like men, and there will always be men hitting on pretty girls, but there are certain kinds of men who won't hit on women who dress as though they take themselves seriously. They still get hit on, sure. But not as much.

As an example, compare the first lady and Demi Moore, who I chose because they are both attractive and in the same age group, but dress in opposite styles. (I can't find examples of younger women dressing conservatively.)

Who do you think gets approached more often? lol

[Bonfire]

I think the way a girl dresses can certainly fuel his perversion, making it more likely he will approach.

It's the same line of thinking rapists used when they blame their victims for dressing sexy. Yea just blame the clothing. I'm just making a point that for an average man, what a women wear will not be a big factor in determining if he would approach or not.

[Bonfire]

As an example, compare the first lady and Demi Moore, who I chose because they are both attractive and in the same age group, but dress in opposite styles. (I can't find examples of younger women dressing conservatively.)

Who do you think gets approached more often? lol

LOL I don't think that's a good comparison, first lady vs Demi Moore? Even Ashton Kutcher went for Demi Moore. Demi is still very attractive for her age. I don't think men will line up for Mrs. Obama. lol

[searock]

I agree with Vashti. When there is a big age difference, the younger person continues to grow while the older one stays pretty much the same (or will grow less and more slowly). It's not like growing up together, at the same pace, experiencing life together. Only peers can do that, and it's sooo much better.

OP, I'm afraid that no matter what you do, if you are even a little bit pretty, older men will always look at you with desire. It's really not that big of a deal - just ignore them if you don't like the attention.

As for the actual topic, what do you think it is, that makes men in their 20s not attracted to you? Do you have male friends?

[vashti]

LOL I don't think that's a good comparison, first lady vs Demi Moore? Even Ashton Kutcher went for Demi Moore. Demi is still very attractive for her age. I don't think men will line up for Mrs. Obama. lol

But that is my point: Michele Obama is actually quite attractive, and has a better figure than Demi Moore, who lately looks positively anorexic. If she tarted herself up (and wasn't married to the president), she'd be hit on more.

[Bonfire]

But that is my point: Michele Obama is actually quite attractive, and has a better figure than Demi Moore.

As a man, I disagree with you. lol Michelle looks mean to me. Like you don't want to get into her bad side. Demi still looks pretty good to me, no where near her prime though.

[andstuff]

Okay so i didn't expect such a long discussion to have taken place by the time I'd check back.....

So, in order of appearance

Re: being myself so many have mentioned. there's a few things that can be changed without warping oneself at all.

2CAM, I am not going to take personally anything you said, but I dislike the statement that "if i attract old men i should be with them". i shouldn't do anything to anyone, i am the only person i owe anything in this world and i only exist for my pleasure not anyone else's, therefore there's no point in getting laid with ugly old body owners, this is basically all. old men should sleep with old women whose breasts sag, because otherwise they will get mad at the whole world at having no sex life, so someone should handle that age group. as for your girlfriend, well, this is between you and her, one of my friends was once passionately in love with a 57 year old balding man who only had two front teeth, so there's no accounting for taste.

2smackie: i met most of the 35 year olds at my friends' parties, all of whom are around my age, no clue where they hang out otherwise. my last lover was 3 years younger and heavenly it was. we were emotionally similar, with comparable levels of immaturity.

2Drumzzz: cheers. as a matter of fact i do look like a model. it helps when shopping at luxury stores when looking slightly dishevelled, they think i'm allowed to lol. as for loving there's another interesting thing, i have been known among my friends as someone capable of giving mad love, because of some story of fatal love or other circulating, i guess some people assumed anyone could win the same amount of affection on my part. pretty absurd. i guess they sense it and want to get hold of me or something. disgusting obvs, when they are not worth it.

2searock: thanks ever so much for saying this, walking the road together and going through the same stages of evolution is exactly the whole point of being together. there's more potential for emotional resonance and understanding. older men treat younger girls like dolls and playthings, learned from experience, didn't go too far.

Re: discussion on female types, i don't know..... Edie Sedgwick and PJ Harvey were kind of my style and otherwise icons, was a massive faux pas. guess my lover (he was 21 and i was 24 when we met) kind of adored that type, so i ended up literally dressing and looking like a doll, which looked fine because i look younger than my age (still like more a teen, really, thanks to the bone structure). now i think Kim Gordon is prob the right type, more real and approachable.... and who got a top notch man 5 years younger than herself, she must have done something right