Originally Posted by
VincenzoG91
When discussing a problem, "We" builds a sense of teamwork and support, while "you" comes across as accusatory. Even if you are certain that the other person is at fault. Even if it can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the other person is at fault.
If you're not willing to be diplomatic while trying to improve your marriage, you might as well just hire an attorney and start the divorce process.
This^. Its basic diplomacy.
"I" and "we" = inclusive
"You" and "them" = excluding and confrontational. Its the first stage of hostile language.
I highly recommend a book for you Cog. Plus its cheaper than counselling. Its called "How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable".
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh