Why did he follow me? and am I over-reacting?

[flo_22]

Recently bumped into a guy that I had a 'thing' with about a year ago. It was nothing much, he would text me quite a bit and see each other every now and again in clubs, but never actually met up outside of there. Would plan to but never actually do it.

I was out with my boyfriend and my friends this particular night. I saw him earlier on, and when I was alone, he came up to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. I told him thank you but that I wasn't drinking much that night, and said for him to have a good night. He kept following me until I escaped into the female toilets.

Saw him again later and he just kept standing right behind wherever me, my boyfriend and my friends were, sometimes on his own. My best friend already knows about him and told the others, and my boyfriend kicked off at him. We left early because he still hovered around.

Why did he do this? Its not like we were ever serious. He would always text, I would always initate meeting up but he was the one who would make excuses about not meeting. His texts got less frequent and he would start ringing at 3am and things so I decided to ignore him after a while.

My boyfriend says he's fine with it because its not my fault but I still feel awful. I know I wouldn't like it if it was the other way round. We had just had a heart to heart about trusting each other and everything and now I feel like that might have been a waste of time. I don't want this to ruin what I have with my boyfriend. It's not like it was ever actually anything.

Am I over-reacting?

How would you react if this happened to your partner?

[searock]

It totally depends on how my partner would behave. I could see at once whether he cared for her or not. I'm sure your bf saw that you didn't care about the guy, otherwise he would be bothered by the episode.

As for the guy, make sure you keep him at a distance, he sounds like a creep!

[HeartIsAching]

If it were my partner, I would've reacted just as yours did. It was not your fault, and we all have pasts. Big deal. The guy... it was creepy as hell of him to follow you and stand behind you, but what are you going to do? It's not against the law.

[smackie9]

The guy is a creep. You need to tell him firmly that you never want to accociate with him again, and that means no contact on the net, by text or in person. It has to be YOU to tell him and not your BF. In that creepo head of his, he will think your BF is blocking him from you and that you are a victim of an abusive BF. Trust me it has happened to me. I still get emails from a creep.

If this reoccures make record of it, and have witnesses so if it gets totally out of hand you will have enough evidence to get a restraining order against him.

**stalking doesn't have to involve violence, it can be harrassment.

[Bonfire]

I would always initate meeting up but he was the one who would make excuses about not meeting.

This is odd. Why did you initiate meeting up with this guy when you have a boyfriend? It seems this guy was lead on there is 'something' between you two. You should have put a stop to this flirtation out of respect for your boyfriend. Even if your intention was to hang out as friends, clearly this guy had a thing for you and if I'm your boyfriend I wouldn't like the idea my girl invites this guy who wants to bang her to hang out somewhere.

[searock]

This is odd. Why did you initiate meeting up with this guy when you have a boyfriend? It seems this guy was lead on there is 'something' between you two. You should have put a stop to this flirtation out of respect for your boyfriend. Even if your intention was to hang out as friends, clearly this guy had a thing for you and if I'm your boyfriend I wouldn't like the idea my girl invites this guy who wants to bang her to hang out somewhere.

I think she was referring to an year ago, when she wasn't together with her current bf yet.

[Bonfire]

I think she was referring to an year ago, when she wasn't together with her current bf yet.

Most likely. That bit of info was toss in the middle of the story so I wasn't sure if it was meant as past or present.

[bulrush]

I think it's a case of this creep can't read social signals very well. So he hung around looking for a bone. Nothing more than a socially inept guy.

[flo_22]

Thanks for the replies.

I don't care for the guy at all. I was more concerned with what my boyfriend thought, and what he might have thought I was thinking, which is why I felt the need to post. If I see him again, I think I'll probably avoid him, or at least try to. I think he's probably realised how strange he acted anyway, at least I hope so. And yes, it's true, it isn't exactly against the law.

I didn't have any contact with the guy for a good few months before I met my boyfriend and that night was the first time that I had seen him since. I thought maybe he did it because I began to ignore his calls and texts because they would be at ridiculous times like 3am, instead of in the day like what they used to be. I figured he was no longer interested and we weren't on the same page.

But anyway, thank you again for taking the time to reply, you've helped lots!