Honest female opinion on "Clingy"?

[AlexD]

Hey ladies.. So I need some pointers here. After about 5 failed attempts at the whole "exclusivity" thing.. I need some pointers. I will give brief backgrounds on each of these 5 failed attempts.

Woman 1
-Met her in a bar, pretty cute so I chatted her up and asked for her number.
-She initiates texting, texts a lot.. I'm cool with it cause I want to get to know her a little before I meet up with her.
-Hung out three times together, no sex but everything else. Still lots of texting between hangouts.
-Fourth time comes around and she gives me a lame excuse, I figure "whatever" and it's no big deal.
-After about the 3rd or 4th flake from her, I tell her "Hey, I'm not going to let you string me along here.. So let's not see each other anymore."
-She says she "thought I was more chill than that." I took this as a sign I may be clingy toward her, but kind of brush it off.
-I go no contact on her, she re-initiates a month or so later trying to make plans.. I tell her I'll meet her, she flakes again on me. No contact since.

Woman 2
-Met through mutual friends.
-First date didn't go so well so I decided I wouldn't ask her out again.
-She asks me out again and I figure "well she seems cool to be friends with" so I go.
-We wind up kissing and all that.. Start talking and seeing each other for a month.
-Lots of texting, communication every day.
-Things go kind of cold on her part, less texting, I realize she's talking to one of my friends too.. I go cold back.
-I tell her "Hey, I don't think this is gonna work out, but I'd like to still be friends." No explanation given. (even though she's banging my friend.)
-She pretty much tells me she hates my guts and never wants to see me again.
-No contact since.

Woman 3
-We had been really good friends for a few years. Never hooked up or anything.
-We both get really drunk one night, make out, and realize we're into each other.
-We keep doing this for about 2 weeks.. No texting, only to plan dates or common questions about things.
-Went camping with a bunch of our friends, she said she wasn't sure if we should have sex, I said it was no problem.
-She has sex with one of my best friends on the trip.
-Didn't know about this, and went out to see her one day the following week.. She refused to kiss me so I just left.
-I find out about all this, don't say anything and go really cold on her. I wouldn't even hug her when I saw her with our friends.
-Eventually I tell her I knew, she breaks down and apologizes.. Says she really likes me, tries to kiss me, I refuse to and walk away.
-We're still friends, made out twice (really drunk) since that whole event. I don't call her up to hangout ever but will be friendly when I see her.

Woman 4
-She was really into me from the start, we met at a bar/local show in my town.
-I didn't get her number, but she found me on facebook. (kinda creepy) we exchanged numbers through there.
-Met up with her and went for a walk through a park, kissed at the end of the date.
-Lots of texting occurs.. Every day she sends me a "good morning for about 4 or 5 days.
-Next date about 5 days later. We go to the beach.
-Lots of kissing/making out.. No sex.
-Next date girl flakes on me.. I wasn't really bummed out and just went out with my friends.
-She stops texting so much, I ask "hey, you seem different lately.. something on your mind?"
-She goes on a rant about how she's paranoid I'm a cheater.. Was about to get married a year ago until she found out her to be husband was cheating on her.
-I try to tell her I'm not the type to cheat.. Still lots of texting.. Then she goes cold.
-I say to her after about 5 days of her being cold.. "Hey, if you're going to play games then forget me. I'm a straightforward person and I don't like to put up with BS."
-She freaks out, I tell her I just grew to like her (after 2 weeks) she tells me she's "scared" (I guess I may have seemed to be controlling?)
-Went no contact, she asked me a month later if I hated her.. I said "no" we hangout again.. With her current boyfriend. AWKWARD.

Woman 5
-We meet in class, I added her on FB and we talked a bit on there.
-I asked her for her number one day at school, we went out.. Got drunk, and she gave me head. Cool.
-I don't text too much cause I don't wanna seem clingy. I let her initiate it.
-We hangout again, I tell her I'm a virgin.. We have sex and she takes my v-card.
-We go on a bunch of dates and she's really into me. We text every day and see each other at school.
-Invites me to a party, I get there and she's making out with some other guy. I get really pissed about it but calm myself down.. I question her and she says "well we're not official blah blah" I say back "Yeah, you can do whatever you want I know we're not official, but don't expect to do that around me when I take time out of my day to see you. That's disrespectful and no way to keep a man."
-I leave the party.. She calls me and we talk for about an hour, I tell her I'm angry and whatever I say is going to be meaningless so I'll talk to her when I'm calm.
-She tries to contact me four days later and says I'm ignoring her..
-We make amends about the whole thing and continue to see each other.
-She breaks up with me 2 weeks later and says I'm getting "attached" even though I wasn't.. SHE would initiate all of the hangouts.
-I tell her "let's just be friends" cause I want an actual relationship and she says she wants FWB.


Now, I know or a fact that I'm not clingy at all. I just like to be around people and hangout.. Whether it be friends or girlfriends. Most of these girls I would usually see around 2 or 3 times a week. I wouldn't hound them all the time saying "Hey what are you up to? Wanna hangout?" or question them about guys that comment on their facebook pictures.. The last girl actually accused me of having multiple girlfriends which was completely silly.

I'm just trying to find out for sure what I'm doing wrong. I'm currently seeing a girl who is awesome and who seems to not be crazy. I don't want to text her too much or too little. I don't want her to think I'm a player or think no other ladies want to chase me. I want her to KNOW that I am a HIGH VALUE MAN because I am. I've had horrible past dating experiences which have left me sort of cynical and jaded toward women which I am trying hard to overcome.

Any advice ladies? Please be brutally honest. It's not gonna hurt my feelings, if anything it's going to be good criticism (as long as it's constructive!)

Thanks!
-AlexD

[Mathias]

It seems like you have a pattern of dating someone, finding out they're not right for you, and moving on.

Respect.

[searock]

I see a pattern of you "going cold" whenever something starts to go slightly wrong, instead of at least attempting to talk about it. Communication is key and if you put zero effort in it then obviously it's going to seem like you don't care. Rather than too clingy, I'd say your dating behavior is quite weird (as in, it would weird me out). You go from normal to "cold" and you say stuff like "let's not see each other anymore" out of the blue, without even having tried to discuss whether there might be a problem. You have to be more patient with other people's feelings and insecurities. That is, if you even care at all, of course.

[Wakeup]

I don't think you're clingy, if anything I think you're too aloof and you text way too much instead of just meeting up and getting to know one another that way. I don't think it's necessary to text someone continuously throughout the day and then not actually get together... I'd get bored of that... particularily if we have already hung out once already.

I also think that you should be glad that the girl that blew you on the first date is out of the picture. However; if you should happen to get with someone who isn't the Campus Bicycle then it would be cool if you CALLED her (not text her) the day after if you're actually interested in getting to know her past her gums. Playing it aloof after a sexual liaison is rather unthoughtful, IMO. I'll add that she is in no way ready to be in an exclusive relationship with anyone.