Your opinion on the whole "space" thing.

[tezastone]

A guy I'm seeing said he "needs some space". My reaction was: "since I don't know what "space" means, I'll carry on with my life as if the relationship is over". I figured I needed to respect his privacy and resist my urge to contact him ( which I've done) and carry on with my life.

I thought I was being really gown up by giving him his "me-time". But the truth is, as much as I have been going on about my business as usual, I really am still waiting to see if he'll contact.

Then it hit me. I don't think this whole "I need space" thing makes any sense. It's another way of telling you "I don't want you in my life, but I don't want to let you go officially for whatever reason, so wait for me while I give you no answers whatsoever about how long I'll need, what it's about and whether I'll even contact you again".

I realized that one thing is needing alone time but COMMUNICATING to your partner the conditions it'll happen in ( hey babe, next weekend the guys and I are going out for a 4-day fishing trip. I'll call you Wednesday) and another thing is stringing someone along who is emotionally involved with you and will wait for an answer that might never come as you:
1) Deal with your confusion.
2) Date around.
3) Really just have the intention of breaking up but don't have the balls to do it.

I decided this is me, yet again, making excuses for other people's behavior as I, yet again, forget my needs and focus on others'...all the while feeling "mature" that I can give him his space.

What do y'all think? In general, is the whole "space" thing actually immature and selfish? On both ends?

[smackie9]

If someone said that to me I would stop them in their tracks and be blunt with them that I don't do "breaks" it's either we work this out now or we end it. You should have put your foot down. But it goes to show that I'm not like you I'm an assertive person and take no crap from anyone.....maybe you should try it.

[Linerider]

I thought I was being really gown up by giving him his "me-time"

You are being very grown up. A lot of people would panic when they heard " I need my space", but you have totally kept it together. Good for you.

Anyway, some guys do pull away from a girl every now and then. It's just the way some of them are.

Here's what you should do. Move on with your life and try and forget about him. Concentrate on doing things that make you happy. If you meet another guy that you like, don't be afraid to pursue him. In the process of moving on and making yourself happy, you will also make yourself appear more attractive to your existing boyfriend because he will realize what he is missing out on and he will probably come chasing after you. When he does this, then you decide if you want him back or not. Now you are in control!