why do I get so nervous around him?

[iamminzy]

I went out with him on valentines day as our first date and it was the first time I met him. He already told everyone we're dating when I only met him once and i was like wtf? I just thought he joking around, so I didn't care about it too much. Then he said well, it doens't seem like you feeling me, so its cool. I was like what is he serious? He already has interest in me? He asked me out on a second date and we went out. He said I was shy, but I'm starting to slowly open up to him. He started to call me hun and he misses me and all those sweet talk stuff. He was always caring, understanding, and sweet. He's really different from the guys I met because he goes the extra mile.

Today, he hug me from behind and kissed my head. I wasn't expecting it. Then he tried to kiss me later at night and I got really nervous. We stared into each other eyes and I got nervous and turned away. He got a little more closer and I turned my head and couldn't help smiling because I kept blushing. He makes me blush and nervous. I don't know why he makes me so nervous. I kissed other guys before at the club, well only two times. One time I was buzzed. I have kissed this other guy I dated last year on the second date. I have kissed orher guys cheeks, but I just get so nervous around him and I hesitate to kiss him. He said I needed to show my affection toward and love.

I made him feel bad when I turned away when he wanted to kiss me...... Why do I feel so nervous around him. I am also timid and shy and he knows that.

[miffy]

I think your mind is signaling you to be cautious. From what you've been telling us, it sounds like he is very pushy / borderline clingy, and is emotionally pressuring you into intimacy. Do not give in to this. You may be nervous because you feel very attracted to him (are you? you haven't said that once by the way), but it's also very likely that his eagerness is making you a bit fidgety. If he's seriously interested in you and not just out to get into your pants, he will understand if you take your own pace with this, and don't just follow his lead. You have to feel comfortable and trust him to allow for intimacy. Now, kissing isn't such a huge deal, but if you're inexperienced as you are it becomes all the more special. So make him understand that. It feels as if he knows he can blackmail you because you are so timid and shy. I haven't read you saying that you're very attracted to him, have a crush on him, or are in love or anything of the sort. Just that he's sweet and makes an effort.

[iamminzy]

Oh yes I am interested in him... ahh too tired and sleepy to type... but yes I do like him and think about him, but sometimes I just get so speechless. he asked me if i was ready to be in a relationship and what's the difference between love and affection.. I don't know... =/

[miffy]

Well, that's a question that would take forever to answer, and most people have their own views on that subject =)

Since you're obviously into him then, let him lead you on a bit, but don't let him twist your head around. Be healthily cautious, you don't know him well enough yet. You should know yourself when it's time to put on the breaks. And if you don't know if you want a relationship, tell him. Date casually, see where it goes. Don't let him stress you into serious talk after just 2 dates...

[smackie9]

He is really pushing the GF stuff way too fast....I would get nervous too.....it's almost obsessive so better watch out for that. Don't let your heart cloud your better judgment. Just be honest with him say that he is moving with this too fast and you want to spend more time "getting to know him" rather jumping into BF/GF roles. If he refuses and keeps pushing, you got trouble on your hands.....

[Amber2011]

Wow. So glad to read this thread. I was in a similar scenario recently. Yours is almost a copy of what happened to me. Two differences. I'm a 55 year old widow and I cut the date short. Over two weeks later I still think of this man and am quite sad that he tried to push the relationship too quickly. Had he taken his time we could have been on the start of something really good. Instead he scared me away. I also did worry about him possibly being very possessive which can be really destructive. Do what I didn't do if you really like this guy. Tell him to slow down and take time to get to know each other.