Should I let it go

[dj454]

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years now. When we met and started getting serious we talked about all our previous partners. Not to be mean but she went through a wild phase after her husband left. One of the guys she had sex with was engaged at the time. She knew he was a player but she just wanted no strings attached sex and he was happy to oblige. I have no problem with her past but here's the problem. She told me he still texted her at that time and talked dirty. She told me I had nothing to worry about that she always made him stop. Well he is very persistant and I'm not stupid I know what he wants. I made it clear to her I don't care if she is friends with him but he needed to be respectful and stop. Here's some examples he would text and say hey sexy guess what I'm doing then he would say he was jacking off would she like a picture. She did tell him to stop and he would for a little bit. It was bothering me and I wanted to confront him but she said she would handle it. I let it go for awhile but it was always in my mind. I would ask her if he still texted her and she said sometimes.One night she fell asleep and I read her texts.She woke up ans saw me and we had a heated discussion. She said she would stop talking to him but she made me feel so bad for reading her texts I let it go. I think they still texted but she assures me she would never sleep with again. Late last year he was at a resteraunt we were at but we didn't see him and I don't even know what he looks like for sure. She told me he texted her and told her she was still sexy. Here we ago again. I let it go but a couple of months ago my gf and I were at some rental property she owns getting it ready for a new tenant. She asked me to grab her phone and text her son to make sure he was ok. When I opened up the text menu right at the top of the list was 206 texts between them. She wasn't looking so I looked really.quickly. He had sent her pics of his new tattoos and of his new hairstyle and she sent him a piv of her at his request. I quickly read some of the texts and same old crap he tells her he's been fantasizing about her and he can't get her out of his head. She did tell him he had already had his chance. If he got too graphic she did tell him to stop but it still makes me angry. I didn't say anything to her but I waited until I got a chance to go over the texts better.When I got the chance a few days later they were all deleted. My mind of course starts running wild but my honest guess is she doesn't want me to know he is texting her or at least what he says.We are on the same phone plan so I started checking the bills.I went from the current one back to mid January and there was over 460 texts between them. Most are from him. Over 300 were incoming so he is doing most of the talking. I got a chance to check her texts last week and he wanted her to send her a pic of his penis so she could tell him if it was bigger. She refused but it still makes me angry. I have been back and forth do I say something to her because I.know she will be mad I read her texts but I wouldn't have if she hadn't told me to use her phonr because I wasn't snooping to begin with. She reads my texts by the way and is quick to ask if she doesn't recognize a name or number. So should I just let it go and trust her to do the right thing. Should I just confront him I really want to.Should I talk to her and explain what got me started looking in the first place. Any advice would be appreciated.

[carl1222]

Here's what you should ask her to do: 1) Ask him to stop sending her text messages; 2) Do not respond if he continues; 3) Check with her wireless provider to see if she can block incoming texts from his number; and 4) if all else fails, change her number.

If she's not willing to do all these things, you can assume that she wants to continue the relationship with him and you should respond accordingly.

Why confront HIM? He owes you nothing. Your problem is with your girlfriend! By continuing to respond to his texts, she is encouraging him and disrespecting you. This is true even if she doesn't participate in the flirtation.

[dj454]

I agree but I still find him to be disrespetful as well but I see your point she keeps the contact going. I just dread the conversation. I was going to talk to her this weekend because her kid was going to be with his dad but his dad got sick so it will be awhile before he's not around. The kid loves me and I don't want to start anything when he is home. I honestly thought the same thing you said I just needed confirmation.

[carl1222]

Good luck. Remember, he is only as disrespectful to you as she allows him to be. He's a stranger ... he owes you no respect. She, on the other hand, is your girlfriend ...