Mixed Signals?

[indielover]

I really like my friends house mate, hes a very nice guy and completely opposite to the previous guys I was with (which didnt work out). I get the impression he likes me and twice we've slept in the same bed but did nothing but cuddle. Firstly do you have basic tips on how to know if a guy likes you, especially if hes bad with technology so you cant judge by texting or that? Secondly, we went out for his birthday and things were going great, thought something might happen but there was an awful lot of girls all over him and he ended up kissing someone else. Later he told us all about this girl he kissed-though he was saying it in a bad way-and was talking about some other hot girl he saw out. He always mentions that a girl is hot if she walks by. Does this mean he only sees me as a friend or is he trying to make me jealous? Also, advice on whether to make a move or not and how? I reckon he must know that I like him as I make an effort to hang out with him as well as my friends/his housemates. Appreciate the input, cant really go in to much more detail as it would all be small little details of different incidents. However,once my friend alluded to me and him being cute together and he did go red and laughed.

[haxan]

Judging from what you've written, I'd say he's not interested in you.

[AnnonymousMan]

A classic female mistake is to not pursue the guy. He might be waiting for you to say something first. But I do know from experience that if I like a girl, I will NOT talk about how hot another female is in front of her, as this would obviously show her I am not interested, rather I am interested in this other girl.

Does he compliment you at all? I doubt he is trying to make you jealous.

[bulrush]

Firstly do you have basic tips on how to know if a guy likes you,

Ask him.

I reckon he must know that I like him as I make an effort to hang out with him as well as my friends/his housemates.

Nope. That means nothing. It just means you like him as a friend.

However,once my friend alluded to me and him being cute together and he did go red and laughed.

That also means nothing to a man. So ask him on a date. Then you'll get your answer for sure.

[indielover]

He does compliment me, but its more when its just the two of us coz he knows we'd get some slaggin from the girls if we were outwardly flirty or whatever in front of them! He is 25 though so id imagine if he liked me he would be a bit straightforward about it, though he is extremely shy! Only significant thing would be that he just randomly hugs me and kissed me on the cheek the whole time? I'll see if he gives any indications of liking me as more than a friend,if so I may as well as him on a date. Otherwise you guys could be right about him not liking me! Cheers for the input..

[Sixpacj]

I really like my friends house mate, hes a very nice guy and completely opposite to the previous guys I was with (which didnt work out). I get the impression he likes me and twice we've slept in the same bed but did nothing but cuddle. Firstly do you have basic tips on how to know if a guy likes you, especially if hes bad with technology so you cant judge by texting or that? Secondly, we went out for his birthday and things were going great, thought something might happen but there was an awful lot of girls all over him and he ended up kissing someone else. Later he told us all about this girl he kissed-though he was saying it in a bad way-and was talking about some other hot girl he saw out. He always mentions that a girl is hot if she walks by. Does this mean he only sees me as a friend or is he trying to make me jealous? Also, advice on whether to make a move or not and how? I reckon he must know that I like him as I make an effort to hang out with him as well as my friends/his housemates. Appreciate the input, cant really go in to much more detail as it would all be small little details of different incidents. However,once my friend alluded to me and him being cute together and he did go red and laughed.

I don't think he is interested in you. You were in bed together twice and he didn't want to touch your private parts, or stick his in yours??? This should be telling you something already... Sorry...

[miffy]

Wow, what a bunch of damaged males post here sometimes it's amazing. So a guy can't just cuddle without wanting to copulate with a woman he LIKES, does not desire apparently, and that says he's not interested. Uh-huh.../facepalm.

And OP, on all your questions:
Ask him.
Ask him.
Ask him.

And be forward. It's not true that "guys don't care about that", like getting red over someone commenting on you two. It's not true that he's not interested just because he's not going for your pants immediately. Maybe he's just a nice guy and no thoughtless dickwad like some others. BUT, you'll only get to know from HIM, and noone else. Tell him you like him, maybe even initiate physical intimacy. Guys actually dig that. Above all, just be honest with him and don't hide your feelings. Maybe you'll get burned, but you'll get over it and at least you won't suffer uncertainty, which is unecessary. Best of luck.

[Sixpacj]

Wow, what a bunch of damaged males post here sometimes it's amazing. So a guy can't just cuddle without wanting to copulate with a woman he LIKES, does not desire apparently, and that says he's not interested. Uh-huh.../facepalm.

And OP, on all your questions:
Ask him.
Ask him.
Ask him.

And be forward. It's not true that "guys don't care about that", like getting red over someone commenting on you two. It's not true that he's not interested just because he's not going for your pants immediately. Maybe he's just a nice guy and no thoughtless dickwad like some others. BUT, you'll only get to know from HIM, and noone else. Tell him you like him, maybe even initiate physical intimacy. Guys actually dig that. Above all, just be honest with him and don't hide your feelings. Maybe you'll get burned, but you'll get over it and at least you won't suffer uncertainty, which is unecessary. Best of luck.

Buhahahahahahahahahahahaha ;-) cool story, bro ;-)

Let me rephrase: I am now 38 years old. I would NEVER end up in a bed with a woman and just cuddle. I would cuddle after intimacy. I am sure gay men "like" the women they "go to bed together" with, and "cuddle", but I do not think the OP had exactly this in mind when she asked the question.

There are some women I "like" with whom I would cuddle, but never in the same bed. Does this make me damaged? Probably...

There is no way a heterosexual man, past the age of 13 and a half, ends up in bed with you twice and noting happens intimacy wise. Unless, of course, if he is gay or .... ... ... simply not that into you.

[miffy]

Then I pity you as man, sorry to say. There countless reasons why that might not happen. You're just too insecure to admit you could be with a woman and not "jump" her immediately like some animal, for some reason of insecurity about your manhood maybe, I don't know. Just don't extrapolate and assume that it's the same for every man or woman for that matter.

[indielover]

Obviously I post here to get an unbiased, honest and sometimes harsh opinion. I AM acknowledging the fact that he might just not be into me but realistically i dont think its that strange that he can lie in bed with me and not try it on. In fairness, if i rejected him how awkward would that be; "i guess i'll just leave your bed now".. not to mention our mutual friends who he lives with. And the dude also knows that my parents just split up which had me a bit emotionally all over the place, he went through the same thing and coming from a large family with lots of sisters im pretty sure its more a case of him having respect for women. I do appreciate your opinon though, but i dont agree that a guy CANT sleep in the same bed without keeping it in his pants. And for the record, he is most definitely not gay.

[Wakeup]

i dont agree that a guy CANT sleep in the same bed without keeping it in his pants. And for the record, he is most definitely not gay.

Well, there's certainly no rule that he can't but obviously when you're sleeping with someone you've not had sex with, it causes confusion about feelings and intentions.

I'm thinking sleeping with someone before you actually know how they feel about you is not the best idea in the world.

[haxan]

Nobody expects you to feel great about having a crush on someone and not having it returned. It's disappointing I'm sure, just have to move on.

[Sixpacj]

Then I pity you as man, sorry to say. There countless reasons why that might not happen. You're just too insecure to admit you could be with a woman and not "jump" her immediately like some animal, for some reason of insecurity about your manhood maybe, I don't know. Just don't extrapolate and assume that it's the same for every man or woman for that matter.

I agree you can be with a woman and not jump her immediately. This is perfectly normal behaviour, especially in the initial phases of the relationship.

What is less normal, I think, is when you end up in bed with someone twice and no intimacy happens. I'd agree if it had happened once, you could have argued he didn't want to jump her/"was respectful", etc.

However, if someone (a heterosexual man) finds himself in bed with you twice and he does not try to get intimate with you, there is something wrong. He is homosexual, he does not like you sexually, he is playing with your feelings and expectations, etc.

OP, did you get the feeling that he was expecting you to make a move on him? In my mind, this could explain the situation, but I'd still say you'd be better off with a man who makes things happen while the two of you are already in bed.

[Sixpacj]

Obviously I post here to get an unbiased, honest and sometimes harsh opinion. I AM acknowledging the fact that he might just not be into me but realistically i dont think its that strange that he can lie in bed with me and not try it on. In fairness, if i rejected him how awkward would that be; "i guess i'll just leave your bed now".. not to mention our mutual friends who he lives with. And the dude also knows that my parents just split up which had me a bit emotionally all over the place, he went through the same thing and coming from a large family with lots of sisters im pretty sure its more a case of him having respect for women. I do appreciate your opinon though, but i dont agree that a guy CANT sleep in the same bed without keeping it in his pants. And for the record, he is most definitely not gay.

Thanks, the issue of emotional turmoil could explain a bit his behaviour, maybe he was trying to comfort you in a trying time... But I think to do it in bed with someone, where sexual tension escalates easily, was not very respectful, I feels wrong to me, like he tried to lead you on...

Bottom line for me, if I tried to comfort you knowing you are in a tough spot, I'd not do it in bed with you. If I ended up in bed with you, I'd get intimate with you.

From another vantage point, I would not be in bed with a person I don't like sexually. If I go to bed with a woman I like, and do not escalate intimacy, I'd feel like I am rejecting her, and she would feel that way as well, based on my experience in life so far.

[IndiReloaded]

However,once my friend alluded to me and him being cute together and he did go red and laughed.

He cuddles with you and went red at mention of you being a couple?

I'm going against the general group here and say he likes you, but is afraid of you. Do you have a strong personality? Eat babies for breakfast before 11am?

I would say a guy who doesn't like you isn't going to cuddle with you in bed. He likes you but is not sure how to proceed. Ask him if he likes you. If he stammers and blushes, apologize and suggest you go on a date. Good luck. :-)