Six months and counting...

[blacksparrow360]

So this girl and I have been "talking" for the last six months and I had got to the point where I was certain I would like to be in a relationship with her but yet she still doesn't want to officially commit. She says she has feelings for me and I of course for her but she still doesn't think she is ready. I don't know how to feel about this because in my eyes if two people like each other and after getting to know each other for the past six months that a relationship would be a no brainer by now.

Side story. I'm starting to wonder if this is really what I want. The first three months were excellent, and I really felt like we connected but after Winter break (we are college students) the current semester she seems just a little more distant. She told me that this semester she wouldn't come over as often because she was gonna try to focus on her grades and also try to be in bed at a better time. I was understanding of all of that but I feel as if I never get to see her now. Generally I see her in class each day, which doesn't count, and on the weekends but on the weekends when she comes over it tends to be at like 3 or 4 in the morning after she has done everything she wants to do like party, etc... I'm stating to feel that she doesn't spend as much time as she should with me quite frankly and curious if I should just move on especially considering she still doesn't know if she is ready for a relationship. For a week I distanced myself a bit from her after bringing all of this up because I was confused about the situation and afterwards she sent me a very long text message stating how much she cares for me and that her feelings are true but once again she doesn't or is afraid to commit.

I don't know what to do, should I give her time or just move on? Also sorry if this is confusing. A lot of unorganized thoughts in my head.

[surfhb]

If someone likes you they will want to come into your life....period. Since she is not doing this then she doesnt want to be in your life.....but she sure does like the attention you give her. Please move on

[blacksparrow360]

I guess that is true. During the week where I distanced myself I also met up with an old fling. While I was with her we "made out" but I didn't let it get any further. I told the other girl about this and she responded in a disappointed way of course but said she can't really argue it because she isn't my gf. I'm tempted to see other girls but at the same time tell her about every single one of them just to see how it all turns out.

[smiley_]

I guess that is true. During the week where I distanced myself I also met up with an old fling. While I was with her we "made out" but I didn't let it get any further. I told the other girl about this and she responded in a disappointed way of course but said she can't really argue it because she isn't my gf. I'm tempted to see other girls but at the same time tell her about every single one of them just to see how it all turns out.

I'm in a very similar situation to yours and i dont know what to do but i will say that telling her about other girls may back fire. It may turn her off and push her further away.

[AnnonymousMan]

Trying to make her jealous isn't going to work? It sounds obvious that this girl just wants to party single and do what she wants without having to be tied down in a relationship. Find somebody better bro.

[miffy]

If hearing about you "mingling" with other women doesn't kickstart her in one way or another, nothing really will. You are being very slowly and agonizingly friendzoned, dude. Accept her as a friend and enjoy her company, but start going out with other women and don't wait on her. It's not healthy and not doing either of you any good. Who knows, maybe it'll work out later on anyway? Right now you should have some fun and maybe you'll find someone even better. She doesn't want to, so accept it.